Removing The Shell That Surrounds You; 3 Ways To Begin The Process


Have you ever seen a magician cover a balloon with shaving cream and then shave it without popping it? The idea, of course, is that the balloon is so tender and that the magician is so cool, calm and collected that he can shave it without popping it.

Pretty cool, i suppose.

But it got me to thinking that it is not unlike the layers upon layers that we, too, apply to ourselves to keep us ‘protected’ from the world, or probably more often than not, protected from ourselves,

You see, the ego’s main goal is to protect itself from extinction, therefore protecting you. Though that seems like it is a worthy pursuit, it is a maniacal descent into the abyss as most become encased in the insecurities that are now used to keep you from obtaining all that is meant for you in the Universal Stream of Life.

Here’s the thing. Most have become so encased in the various protection modes that the ego has set forth initially, and then our own insecurities begin to multiply them layer upon layer, that we hardly even recognize the truth of who we are in life.

We have become nothing more than the sum of our parts obscuring the beautiful and perfect circle of life that we are underneath it all.

It really becomes about the questions you ask yourself about the layers and whether they serve you. In reality, most begin the transition from their true selves to the layers as they see themselves as the very layers themselves.

The truth is that we need to shave the layers, if need be, one layer at a time. But since the identification with those layers has so become us, we wouldn’t even know where to begin.

3 Ways to Begin the Process of Removing the Layers That Surround You

So, like the magician, we need to just shave the balloon all at once, probably. It is kind of like when you had a little injury as a kid and it was time for the band-aid to come off. The bandage had now become almost a part of your skin while the cotton bandage part was ‘protecting’ your injury as it healed. The slower it was taken off seemed to be the more painful. But the one-fell-swoop approach, always a quick sting, was easily forgotten as we saw the healing that had taken place. This is the approach we must look upon for our own healing to take place

Way 1: The Layers are What They Are

Here is the cleverness of the egoic layers, as i like to call them. Yes, they may not all be egoic in nature, but i can guarantee the ego had a hand in their application. I often think of the ego as the old mob boss depicted in old Hollywood movies that gets his henchmen to do the ‘dirty work’ while remaining untouchable.

The ego will, as you attempt to start to self-examine the layers, pile on guilt and other insecurities about the removal of the layers themselves. It is like when someone tells you that you can’t break up with them because they are the best thing that happened to you, and you start to believe them.

You are the best thing that ever happened to you.

The layers are what they are and shall be given no judgement from you as to how or why they were applied. The important thing here is to know that the layers have no longer a purpose in your life and it is time to shave them off. Lamenting for the reason they exist is only an attempt by the ego to tell you that you need them. Don’t believe it.

Way 2: You Are Worthy

This is one of the most important points that must be made here for this is one of the most devious aspects of the egoic nature. Worthiness.

You see, Worthiness is what i call a Super Layer, in that, it is used to coat all of other layers in such a way as to make them impenetrable. That is the biggest challenge with layers; most see them as cement upon cement, unbreakable. But the fact is that cement is very easily broken by a vibrational method. As all of the Universe is vibration, we too can get through our layers by merely finding the right tool to use.

The fact is, however, is that Worthiness is the illusion of cement, really. Actually each layer is really nothing more than shaving cream or a very light foam that can easily be shaved off with the right tool.

Once you allow your worthiness, you then see the layers for what they are

Way 3: Allow Yourself to Expect The Best

Once you have allowed yourself to feel worthy of all that life has in store for you, you can then allow nothing but the best to become your natural state. However, that is usually easier said than done.

Here is the danger zone where simple platitudes will not serve you. Repeating over and over that you are worthy and that you will do this or that is not going to do anything for you. in fact, it is as if the ego expects you to do this. It is almost like the old image of the King and the Court Jester.

The King (the ego) desires to be amused and the Court Jester prances around in bright, colorful costumes doing things that he thinks will amuse the King to appease him.

What really has to happen here is that the King must be dethroned and you must become worthy of the layers to be removed in an honest view of who you truly are. It must be natural, not forced, and you must truly Expect the Best for yourself.

The removal of the layers, no matter the method, is the only way you can guarantee that life is the joy that has been designed for you.

In the end, it is your journey. But you are not alone, if nothing else than to seek the encouragement of a coach to get you to see under the layers and to discover that you are indeed, worthy.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.


directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking


Get Out Of Your Own Way: A 3-Step Process For Truly Living

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We all have done it; Gotten in our own way when it comes to our hopes and dreams of a better tomorrow, right?

Well, therein lies the very tool the ego uses to distract you from your way, the allusion, vision, hope, dream of a better whatever at some ‘future’ date. It is as if the only thing that matters is the future.

It is not surprising as many are led to believe that very thing about life. Author Mark Twain was known to have said, “Plan for the future because that’s where you are going to spend the rest of your life.”

While i admire Mark Twain, i believe him to have spoken with a bent towards the satirical and for the absurdity of life in general. I think no quote more indicates that Mark Twain was a passionate fellow who had a bent towards the Now Moment and the release of fears that hold you back; essentially just getting out of your own way.

To Illustrate my point is this quote from Mark Twain who said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

But the process sounds so easy, doesn’t it? But unfortunately the ego enters into the picture with the constant drone of ‘security’ (or the lack of it) in your head.

We always have to be ‘secure’, right?

Most adult figures in your life preached this very thing to you. People even asses their possible marriages on this very fact; not so much is this someone you can weather all the beautiful challenges that may come your way together, but is this person stable enough for me? Are they secure enough to provide?

The ego fills your head with insecurities; about yourself, about your possible mate; about life in general, all built on this idea that there is this mystical security out there.

We have no one to blame but ourselves, of course, as we have become a culture of ‘entitlement’, at least in the USA. Everyone is entitled to, well, everything. Free this or that. We are all entitled because we deserve it for whatever reason.

But it only feeds into the real challenge; getting out of our own way so we can truly become the Universal Way of Life to ourselves and to those that intersect our bubble that is our life.

The 3-Step Process of Getting Out of Your Own Way

So, in this day and age where we seem to make everything a bit to over-complicated, one would think that a simple 3-step process is a bit too simple. Well, we are all on our own journey. If you decide you want to make it complicated, so be it. But, at the heart of the process are the last three words of the Twain quote; Explore. Dream. Discover.

Step 1: Exploration

Here in this word is the very nature of finding out about yourself for before any journey there is a period of self-discovery, is there not?

Some say that they learn about themselves on the journey, which is rightfully so, but, in truth, the journey must start within first. There is a part that must release the ego and allow yourself to take the journey to begin with. So exploration is always a journey from the heart to begin with. This goes for any new aspects of life that you are exploring. Never allow your ego or the opinions of others to set the parameters for your exploration for it is your journey alone, no matter how many others your bubble touches.

Step 2: Dream

This is simply allowing yourself to think out loud. This is feeling the wind in your hair and knowing that the Universe makes no mistakes, ever.

I often tell clients when they are speaking of some ‘failure’ that has befallen them. “Do you think that God is standing there saying”, “Gee, I never saw that one coming. Who would of thought that Joe would do that. Really, I Never saw that coming.”

No, the short answer. the Universe is the same for all; an abundant, joyful place that gives and expands with every breath we take. Dream on and allow yourself to see the possibilities. History is replete with men and women from all walks of life who have dreamed outside themselves and through whatever challenges that life threw at them and achieved for themselves. In fact, most would tell you that it was in the ‘failures’, or what society had deemed as such, was their greatest learning opportunities.

Step 3: Discover

This is pure release. The idea is that we can allow ourselves to see the beauty in every Present Moment with the ability of Discovery of simple every day aspects of our journey.

But the challenge is that we get caught in ruts and allow life to slip by in such a way so as to become a stagnant search for security in the mundane.

But this is what happens when, as Twain says, you “release the bowlines and sail away from safe harbor.” This is discovery of self and of the beautiful world that we have been given. This is the truth of the statement, “Stop and smell the roses.”

Release yourself to the Present Moment and Discover the beauty within and without for here is where all truth lies waiting for us.

The Simple 3-Step process; Explore. Dream. Discover. It is up to you to first release your insecurities that the ego has set as the stumbling blocks to a beautiful Now Moment.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.


directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking

Bubbles and the Ego; 3 Ways to Allow Your Bubble to Float Freely

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google plus circlesThe newest rage in Social Media circles is, well, circles. When Google+ introduced the concept of grouping together people in the logical way that we arrange people in our lives, it made sense.

Have you every blown those bubbles you get at the Dollar Store just for fun? Kids love doing it but why do we lose the simple joy of doing so as adults? Purchase a jar of bubbles soon and just enjoy them so that you can free yourself to think in a Universal Way for a bit.

You see, life itself is really, in a sense, a constant arrangement of circles that seem to float about like bubbles. When two or three or whatever intersect they form a new circle, but the bubbles are fluid and ever changing. Some float seemingly alone for a bit and then others are interconnected always, it would so seem, with other bubbles as that is their nature.

The ego tends to want to control you in such a way as to label the very movement of the bubbles and the way they are connected.

How does the ego do it?

The ego uses various aspects of life that seemingly make sense to us, on the surface, but insecurities are at the heart of all egoic tendencies. The ego takes feelings and emotions and heightens them to become almost seemingly irrational aspects of the way we feel and act.

However, it always makes sense to us. The secret is to allow the bubbles to float free to begin with and never even allow the ego to become involved in anything.

3 Ways To Allow Yours and Others Bubbles to Float Free of Ego

When you notice the very beauty of a bubble, you can see that it seems to be a little piece of perfection floating in time and space. Why then would you allow anything such as the ego to label it or try to control it.

Way 1: Understand the Very Nature of Bubbles

They do best when made and allowed to just float. Yes, we try to control them by giving them waves of our hands or blowing on them to keep them afloat, but usually, when left alone, they will complete their journey that they are destined for. The ego is always trying to control the very nature and path of the bubbles of life. Understand that we are all on our own journey and that each life, each bubble, is a perfection unto itself. Allow people to take their own journeys by not becoming an ego-driven creature based in insecurities.

Way 2: Never Force Connections as They Will Occur Naturally

One thing the ego loves to do is force connections where there are none. I suppose we best see this played out in the aspect of love.

In reality TV, in movies and TV shows, we see that very set-up as a way to enter into a drama situation that is suppose to rivet you to your seat. Well, as that is the intent, it grabs us because, while we may scoff at the antics of some TV or movie character that is mismatched in love, and we know it, it is familiar ground as most have been there in some way within their own bubbles. The forcing of love where there need not be.

The idea that we force any connection, be it a relationship or some event in time and space that is not a natural fit for us, is a way to misshape your bubble.

You have done that while blowing bubbles have you not? Tried to blow many together in such a way that the circle is almost hideous looking and it very seldom last. In fact, often times the bubble cannot even float and drops to the ground and disintegrates before our eyes.

This is the very nature of forced connections in life and in love.

Way 3: Every Bubble Will Travel and Complete its Journey

As much as we allow the ego to try to manipulate others with our words and actions, ultimately we must decide to not become that creature who is so concerned with the actions of others that it causes our actions to be nothing but reactions. That is never a journey worth taking as it is fraught with insecurities in every aspect of living.

Like the bubble, the journey will start at its creation and end with its bursting at its predestined time. But here is the beauty of the bubble. It does not ever truly end. Like us, it just becomes too big for its soapy casing and must become something else.

Like the bubble, we, too, expand past our shell at what many think is the ending, but is truly a new beginning. Allow your bubble and everyone you interact with, to be free of the ego that tries to manipulate and control its course with forced connections.

Live free and float naturally on the winds of time free from the egoic nature that tries to control us all. For there is where life truly exists in its simplicity.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

Becoming A Giant Killer: 3 Ways to Begin to Handle Your Insecurities

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Everyone loves a David and Goliath story where the unsuspecting person becomes the hero under what seems to be insurmountable odds. It is even in our own lives that we seek to ‘take on’ the power structures, or the ones that we deem as such, to prove to ourselves, and others that we are capable of living up to our potential.

The challenge here, however, is that who defines the potential that we are to become and, many times, at the heart of our own David and Goliath story lies the insecurities that make us weak at the knees.

There are, essentially, two schools of though usually taken here.

Power through them, your insecurities, as if they are meaningless, you know, act positive even if you don’t feel it, and embrace them and ‘talk things out with them’. Get to the heart of the matter and look to see if there is a place we can deal with them on a logical and compassionate level.

In certain situations, one or both may serve you as you attempt to grow through them but i like to take somewhat of a hybrid approach to insecurities.

Fist, let’s look at the very heart of the word and its meaning. This is one of those words that is actually quite fascinating to look at because of the diversity that we have given it as a ‘catch-all’ of sorts. It seems that the beleaguered word has become a home for all that ails us an i could sped the rest of the little chat here just given you all of the variations and their synonyms.

Suffice it to say, i will give you a few words but know that it seems as if most everything that doesn’t make us stronger can be categorized as, insecurity, or as our insecurities in life. Trust me, it is a broad net that traps you and the best you can do is to Direct Your Power so as to not get caught in its trap.

So, Insecurity has its heart words such as; Anxiety, which is to say your, doubt, hesitancy, indecision, self-doubt, uncertainty, and vacillation about any given situation or about yourself.

Insecurity also has the word, Danger associated with it, which is a hazard, or a troublesome situation. Also, diffidence, which means hesitancy; a lack of confidence, instability, which is typically defined as imbalance and inconstancy, and qualm, which is, of course, nagging doubt.

This is just a few of the words. But what is even more fascinating is that each of these words, plus the several others that are the base of the word, insecurity, are surrounded by dozens of other words that identify and quantify the insecurity experience. In fact, looking at the list and phrases that describe the word Insecurity, i bet there are over two hundred words and phrases that we have come to associate with the word. It is daunting to even imagine tackling the very issue of handling insecurity to begin with, but these are beginning steps. The ego has build Shell after shell all under the umbrella of ‘Insecurity’ to keep you off balance.

3 Ways to Begin to Handle the Giant that is Insecurity in Your Life

We could literally take an associated word to insecurity each day over the next year and still not be done with it, but this is a beginning look at the way to slay this giant.

Way 1: Look At The Source First

What the ego does is to hide so skillfully within the word and its tributaries, that often the source of the insecurity is obscured. So, to begin the process, we take away our insecurity at its heart and look at the reason that these feelings have bubbled to the surface.

What about the Source is giving you these emotions. Strip away the emotions of what you feel for now and just objectively look at the Source of the insecurity-giver. Why does it exist? have you manufactured it to a degree or is it a one-size-fits-all type of challenge.

The key here is to strip away the emotions and look at  the core, the source of the insecurity.

Way 2: Each Emotion is Important Because You Feel it.

In my life coaching business,one of the things that is told to me by many of my women clients is that they detest being told to not ‘feel’ a certain way. Men are particularly reactionary to feelings in that they believe that most should not have them, or, at best, not display them for it could be taken as weakness.

This is where the ego loves to hide and then use as a weapon. There are even defenses in court cases where this happens now days. Feelings, coming out as weapons and the one who uses them is exonerated for doing so.

So, no matter who you are, feelings are an indicator and a guidepost. We feel them and then we don’t allow the ego to use them against us. We Direct Our Own Life in such a way as not being manipulated to allow these feelings to play into the insecurity of our lives. When your Direct Your Power, you are the one who remains in charge and the ego is relegated to the mailroom of the company known as ‘You, Inc.”

Way 3: Key in on the EXACT Word that is Your Insecurity

I have found that when you find the exact word that is at the heart of your insecurity, it goes a long way to allowing you to overcome it. Now this may seem simple, but as i have said the ego loves to layer the insecurity in ways that you become anxious at everything.

There is a word, it is up to you to uncover it. this may require some digging which the ego will try to circumvent, but pursue to the end for in the very pursuit you may find that your insecurity begins to diminish.

Such as in life, may times it is not the destination but the journey that matters most.

Just remember that insecurity is, at its core, a convoluted mess. It is up to you and you alone to slay this giant one step at a time. Live in this Present Moment alone for here is where your redemption waits for you.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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