The Suckiness of Fear: 3 Ways to Abate Fear Within You

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OK, i get it…Suckiness is not really a word, but it should be, right?

There is really nothing else i can say that coveys my disdain for the very aspect of fear within our lives. We are taught it. It is held up as a teacher, as a guide to give us the right way to live.

Blah, blah, blah…

We fear everything, it seems, and most of the time the ego has so got a hold on us that we cannot truly live our lives in the joy that is intended as the cool creatures that we are.

Why is that?

There is a whole industry in the self-improvement arena that focuses on ‘facing your fears’. I’m all for that, but the depth of that is far deeper in that there is a truth to be told that instigates the fear itself.

Why does it exist and why have you allowed it to so control you very existence.

I have heard people tell me that they fear death. How do they know? What is it about death that seems to cause people to change the way they live their lives?

It is like when your parents told you to watch out for traffic when you were little because a car could kill you. Well, true, and it is healthy to teach awareness, but, at some point, as far as i know, we all don’t get out alive. It is not that i am telling you to step out into traffic, but to fear something that may or may not happen to the point that it governs your life is truly absurd.

The larger point here is that fear is usually a very unhealthy aspect of the egoic-mind trying to protect its puny existence.

A recent study that was done over a twenty-year time period stated that of the fears that people allowed themselves to imagine, (things that might happen in the future) that of the 100% that were imagined, a mere 8% actually happened. And of the 8%, anywhere from 3% to 5% were so self-imagined that it seemed that events were actually manifested by the participants to make sure the fears actually happened.

To put it another way; 95% of the things that we fear to happen, never have a chance of happening, and that is being pretty generous with our stats.

3 Ways to Abate Fear Within You

If you have decided that you are going to live in the 5% of life that might happen, then that is your life journey. However, if you are thinking that life can be a bit more incredible if you were to break away from fear within your life journey, then it is time to let go and live with a new awareness of life, of love and of the very understanding that you were created to be more than what your ego has decided for you.

Way 1: Understand the Nature of Fear

In any fear-based situation, there is a nature of fear that is fear itself. Many times it is experience in your life that you have processed in a strange way that has no truth on the situation itself. Many times it is authority figures that have dictated their fears to you, so you live vicariously through them in your fear. For whatever the reason the fear exist, it is not so much as to pretend it doesn’t exist, but ask yourself the nature of its existence within you.

An example would be that many people fear flying, but the truth is that more people are killed while driving in a year than flying. Most people i have met who have been in an accident in a car, make it their mission to get back in again to essentially ‘get over it’.

Fear can be debilitating, in that there is no doubt, but really at the heart of many fears is the lack of egoic control. Fear is usually fear of the unknown, is it not?

Way 2: Ask the “What If – Then What?” Questions of the Fear

This is a fairly simple way to deal with the absurdity of fear in many instances.

Ask ‘What If, Then What?’’

What if the fear were to indeed manifest in the moment you imagined it? What then would happen and try to diffuse the fear by carrying it out as far as your mind will allow. the key here is to be absurd as possible as many times, that is the very nature of the fear to begin with.

There was a movie that starred Nicolas Cage called, “Next” that i enjoyed as this was essentially the premise of the movie. In the movie, Cage was a Las Vegas magician who can see into the future in two minute time sequences. What i thought was intriguing was the way he could take a fear of doing a certain action and see what it’s consequences would have been.

Do the same with your fear, but really use the outcome of your fear as would have already have happened to try to project a scenario of it happening.

Way 3: Ask the Final Questions, “What’s the Worse that Can Happen” and then, “What Then?”

At the end of the scenario for the 2nd Way, ask the question “What is the Worse that can happen?” I mean really get to the heart of the fear. More than likely the most carried out aspect of all fears, from the ego’s standpoint, is in some way death. Somehow the fear will eventually lead you to death.

Oh brother, your ego is telling you that if this happens or that happens, you maybe, just might, more than likely, will die, at some point, maybe, but not quite sure.

Do you see the absurdity of it all?

Again, i do not belittle some fears that may be ingrained and rooted in a real circumstance, but, i assure you, that most can be dealt with and, in most cases, can make you a stronger you when dealt with.

Fear is the Death Star within your soul that keeps you in line.

One of the quotes from Star Wars was when Darth Vader was talking about the Death Star and the abolishing of the Imperial Senate.

A character played by a pretty famous actor, Peter Cushing who played Grand Moff Tarkin, was quoted as saying, “The regional governors now have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this Battle Station.”

Is your Death Star within keeping you from truly living your life? Ask the questions and don’t allow the fear in life to take you from a life of expansion and of beauty in the most uncommon of ways.

It is your journey, live it well.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

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The Ego of Fear – The 2.5 Solution (Part 2)

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I love the abc TV show called, the Shark Tank, that broadcasts on Friday’s on the abc Network. If your haven’t seen it, give it a look as it really does embrace the concept of fear in so many ways.

The premise is that you have 5 well-known investors who listen to various product creators as they ‘pitch’ their ideas to these savvy business moguls for a chance to take their ideas to a wider audience with their financial backing.

The very cool aspect of many of the ideas/creations is that they are usually born from a passion of the person(s) who are presenting the ideas and have a sense of purpose and are not simply ‘just to make money’. The ones who are seeking the Shark’s funding are standing before the Sharks with simply a vision of what could be and are asking for monetary assistance and, even more important, mentor-ship to guide the products from creation to a wider market.

The product presenters don’t always get the funding, most don’t, but they are there putting aside their fears for a larger vision. Many of them who don’t get the funding often will get calls from other possible investors after the program airs. Investors that do see their vision and are willing to take a chance on the person with the idea.

The overall concept here, i believe, is that these people embraced their fears, that egoic nature to play it safe and not allow yourself to be hurt. They saw something outside themselves and went for it and disallowed ego and fear to be involved. Instead, they allowed their passion for their idea or concept to triumph over fear.

Why do you think people who find out that they are dying all of a sudden start developing or, at long last, start knocking off the items on their bucket list.

You do know what a bucket list is, right? Simply, all of those things you want to do before you ‘kick the bucket’. If you haven’t got one, start one. If nothing else you will begin to see what fear and the ego are keeping you from.

In the 2.5 Fear Solution mentioned in the last post, we discussed the nature of fear how and it isolates and terrifies you like a bad computer virus. It infects your very soul and, like a computer virus, we often download it quite innocently.

You see, no one goes about downloading fear. However, well-meaning parents who instill fear in their child about every possible harmful element of life and a media and society who scream at you with headline after headline about the dreadful things that will happen to you just for the fact that you are breathing are used by the ego and fear to envelop you in a climate of fear. We have become a culture of fear and it is time to stem the tide.

You see, the ego is like the government. In the USA and in other governments around the world, they try to instill in their citizenry that they, are the only solution for all fear that you might be subjected to and that they must protect you from, well, everything. What fear does, with the ego, is to tell you that you are to live in complete mistrust of everyone and everything. That love no longer matters and that life is a dangerous place.

Well, there is one thing that is true for all of us; we all do not get out of life alive, that much is for sure. But here is the beauty of what fear and the ego do not tell you. Life is a a beautiful place that and that we are to bring every ounce of joy and living to it with a reckless abandon.

There is an old saying that i like that says, ‘if you aren’t living on the edge, you are taking up too much space.’ Ego and fear, or as i like to call them FEego, hate that. They exist to make you normal, what ever that is, and to keep you safe and secure…Whatever THAT means, as well.

The Fear Solution 2.5

In step 1, we were to understand the true nature of fear. From here we shall build our software program, or app, to deal with fear in our lives.

Fear Solution 2.5 Step 2: Make a Commitment to Yourself

Like in the Shark Tank, we should be ready to stand before ourselves and present our ideas so as to go beyond ourselves. You see, in that show, the people may have tons of fear and apprehensions about themselves, at the core, but it is as if once they walk through the big doors into the Shark Tank, they make a commitment at that point as it is too late to turn back.

Maybe you have had many ideas and fear has kept you from exploring them. Your ego has used its best pal, fear, as a way to keep you from advancing.

Here is the challenge; We are expansive creatures. We are the very nature of the Universe itself. It expands as so do we. Believe it or not, it is the truth. It is like gravity. You may not believe in the concept of it, but step off the building and that concept will change in a micro-second.

As is the expression in many a sales environment goes, ‘When you are green you are growing, When you are ripe you are rotten.” Essentially, we are ever-evolving creatures that need to expand our consciousness and our world.

It took Edison over 1500 times with the light bulb to get it right. When someone asked him about why he kept going after ‘failing’ so many times. Edison responded, ‘I didn’t fail 1500 times, i just found 1500 times it didn’t work.’

Thank God for him and Thank God for you. It is time to make a commitment to yourself that fear and ego are no longer part of your existence. Don’t take the pronouncement from a doctor to get your bucket list started.

The Bucket List concept is really the removal of fear and ego, for what is the use of safety and security when we understand there is none. No person, work environment or government can guarantee you anything. Fear is not a factor any longer in your life once you make the commitment to yourself.

In Part 3, we will look at the steps to take to embrace your new found commitment, for here in the weeds lies fear and ego waiting, often disguised as ‘well-meaning’ family and friends.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

The Ego of Fear – The 2.5 Solution (Part 1)

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For some reason, at this time of the year, around that Day called Valentines, many movies are released that are, for a lack of a better term, slasher movies.

For some reason, love and being killed and maimed, are somehow interlinked. Insert your own comment here as most have a story of love being like that. But as soon as you have allowed the ego to ‘remind’ you of some relationship gone bad, put away your fears about love and move on.

Now there is no doubt that movies such as these are released for a reason; a subliminal and cynical look at love, i suppose. But i tend to have a different view of it all and a view that tends to the real issue here; the fear of it all in love and in life.

You see, a culture of fear that we now live in, grabs and holds us in the very seat of power that is always the ego. There is no rationalization for not being simply the very best for yourself and for those who inhabit your realm. If you exist in fear, then you take away the power given to you by the universe to become magnificent creatures of pure joy.

The ego is so in charge of the fear solution in your life that there is a very real possibility that you are totally unaware that you have succumbed to this way of life.

Fear, and all associated layers the ego uses to keep you grounded in your Now Moments, is the place you desire deep in the recesses of your heart not to be. But somehow through the media, social interactions and the past that your ego has decided to keep you in, you don’t progress in thought, word or deed.

You merely exist.

What is fear, then? It is “An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” as is described in the dictionary.

The key here that is the basis for the ego; “belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.”

Really? This is how you desire to take the most magnificent creation of the Universe, the human life-force, and allow some egoic belief that something is LIKELY to cause pain or threat?

What are some of the synonyms for the word, likely, here? They are, probable, plausible, feasible, apt, fit and possible. None of these words that have any certainly attached to them but they are words the ego uses to keep you in a constant state of non-action and in a place of discontent, what many call ‘out of balance.’

The 2.5 Fear Solution

In this era of software updates and beta testing, we have the Fear Solution 2.5. For as does fear and the ego evolve to become this new strain, like a nasty virus in your computer, we become more vigilant with every release of our solutions to rid you of fear and of the egoic nature that holds you back.

The 2.5 Fear Solution is a series of steps that take you from where you are to where you desire to be in a way that dispenses of the egoic nature that holds you in that place in your live where “likely” has become a concrete, unmovable block in your path.

2.5 Step 1: The understanding of the nature of fear

While the ego uses the elements of fear to hold you in a place you often don’t desire to be, you must understand that the beginning of fear within will manifest outside of yourself.

You see, since fear is so intertwined in our lives, it is hard to understand the truth about it as a force in any given situation. It seems the fear of one situation, totally unrelated to another, becomes the rationale to infect the secondary fear.

Here is a very simple example that people use to rationalize what i call, across-the-board fear. I was at a party recently where a lady was talking about her pets. She proceeded to tell her guest that she didn’t like cats because, when she was a young girl, a cat, according to her, attacked her. She said that she didn’t like cats because of that.

Yes, i can see what she means. When i was a young boy, an adult was mean to me as well, therefore i don’t like any adults now. Wait, that was my parent and i am sure i did nothing to instigate that at all. Also, in my primitive, child-like mind, i was a very me-centered creature that was hyper-sensitive to any tonal qualities of someone ‘being mean’ to me.

Do you see how the ego uses an incident to carry into life in general? Understanding the nature of fear really involves taking the situation that is ‘likely’ causing you to not progress and dissecting it like a surgeon to get to the root cause of fear.

Like a computer program, we will take the virus and use our computer code to isolate and eradicate the past hurt or whatever the ego has used to ‘protect’ you from this current-day situation.

And like computer code, we are simply performing the functions of our code without an emotional attachment, if at all possible. The key here is to isolate the virus to rid ourselves from cross-contamination that the virus causes.

However, like a computer virus, fear can cause the whole system to shut down forcing a reinstall.

Sometime that is exactly what we need to do.

In the next post, we will continue with the 2.5 Fear Solution and how to reset your computer to not allow fear to become your living and loving pattern for life.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best

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Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking directyourownlife@gmail.com

The Power of Assumptions; 3 Questions to Ask

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I love reality shows for the constant show of the human condition that is being displayed. I am not so concerned with any aspect of the actual ‘reality’ of it all, but to study how people react in stressful and compressed situations that often force them to react outside of what are the ways they would normally act.

Well, maybe.

What strikes me in many of the programs, be it a cooking competition, like Top Chef or Hell’s Kitchen, or on Survivor, when people are asked to be in teams or put in a position to assert themselves, they back off for fear that they might become a target.

Or is it because of something else?

You see, we seem to have become a “I don’t want to take the blame for anything” society. Why do you think that is? Is it because we might ‘become a target’ as they say on the reality shows? Or is it because we might fail and, that, the ego tells us, is more devastating than succeeding.

Actually, at its core, it becomes about giving away your power. It is your assumptions about failure, hope and the nature of what your ego and society has determined as to what is success for you, instead of you directing your own life.

So we give our power away to others with our assumptions. It’s like we’re saying, “No, please, YOU take my power. This way I can blame YOU if things don’t work out”. Hope, then, becomes this subtle egoic way that we push off onto others our assumptions and blame. It is just easier to make sure we are not perceived as failing or being too aggressive. We wouldn’t want others to see us as strong for then we might become a target, or people might expect us to always be good.

Have you ever heard statements like these that, on the surface, sound positive to a degree, but are a total allowing of the ego to give your power away.

Statements such as;

“I am not the one in charge here, so there is really nothing I can do.”

“I believe my fate is in God’s hands.”

“They won’t let me.” (the government, rich people, or anyone else who
appears to have more power)

“What is the use of trying? The odds are clearly stacked against me.”

These are assumptions that have no business in your mindset.

What are assumptions?

Assumptions are characterized by the habit of taking for granted that something is true when it is not. Assumptions are a power-grab by the ego, for sure and a re often shielded in the very act of wanting to be helpful but that circumstances just don’t allow you to be as great as you normally are.

Right.

One of my coaching clients had so given away her power with assumptions that she governed her very actions by the looks alone that some people gave her. The assumptions that she gave to those looks then governed her actions as to what she did or did not do and her very speech was based on looks alone.

Talk about giving away your power! And the nasty truth here is that assumptions so rob the Present Moment of power because the ego has made such a power grab that you will not even contemplate a Present Moment mindset.

So, there are beginning steps we need to look at to start the process of clearing away debilitating assumptions from you life and it starts with the questions you ask yourself.

3 Questions to Ask to Make Sure Assumptions are not Taking Away Your Power

Question 1: Is My Assumption True or False?

This is a process of stepping away and becoming an outside observer; become an investigator, of sorts. The process here is to take an assumption that you have always held or that you have recently assigned to someone or some situation. You have to detach from the emotions, for there is where the ego lives in assumptions. Like the old TV series, Dragnet, where detective Joe Friday would say, “Just the facts, mam”, you have to get to Just The Facts.

Like my client who assigned looks assumptions, i had her start to journal her assumptions about people and situations. We would then go through each statement to see the factual evidence of each and ferret out the truth.

Do the same for yourself. Become a detective and don’t allow the ego to decide for you in any situation.

Question 2: What Proof or Evidence Do I Have About My Assumption?

This goes to the journal aspect of the assumptions already mentioned. Look at every aspect, a 360 degree look, at the assumption. Are there truths here that are undeniable? The challenge here is to not allow the ego to become involved personally as it will manufacture truths that are not so. “Just the facts, mam.”

Question 3: How Have I Governed My Life Based on Assumptions?

Here is where you take a larger truth learned from journaling about situations and people that you have given your power away through your assumptions and apply it within a larger context.

Generally, what is true in a smaller situation, holds true in a larger context. If you have given power to individuals and situations with assumptions, then, more often than not, these assumptions have had a larger impact on your life than you may have previously known.

Take your power back. Assumptions can lead you astray and the ego will use to control your very actions from one Now Moment to another.

In an upcoming post, we will look at the question, “How Can I Release the Ego from My Assumptions?”

Until then,

Be Excellent, Expect the Best.

*******

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking directyourownlife@gmail.com

Anger and Anxiety; 3 Reasons to Rid Yourself of Both

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“Anybody can become angry, that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”

Aristotle

 
Anger seems to be invading our very existence in record waves as we recoil in horror at the inhumanity done to one another in these seemingly enlightened days.

In my posts on enlightenment, i broached the subject on the premise that there was a reasonable amount of clarity of intent when it came to approaching a sense of enlightenment.

The displacement of anger was one of those assumptions. But as i approached anxiety in a previous post and started to look at the ways that anxiety was a factor to keeping many from feeling a sense of worth at getting to that point of enlightenment, i discovered that anger is a very real barrier to getting on with the way of love in your life.

Anger, and all of its nasty little tentacles, is keeping us from progressing as humans and as a society-at-large. Anger is at the very root of many of our inabilities to expand, as is the nature of the universe.

I look back on my own journey and i truly understand the nature of anger, although i have not struggled with it so deeply as to impede my progress and growth. But, that being said, i had to look within on my journey to see the nature of angers effects on my own life.

As is quoted by Abraham Maslow, “Whereas the average individuals “often have not the slightest idea of what they are, of what they want, of what their own opinions are,” self-actualizing individuals have “superior awareness of their own impulses, desires, opinions, and subjective reactions in general.”

Essentially, the beginning of dispelling of the various roots that anger feeds, means the look within.

The things that are so devious about anger is that it often manifest in such unlikely ways. Oh, would it not be nice if it were all so blatant as to have someone just “go off”, as the old saying goes? It is almost easier to deal with as usually the reasons for the anger seemingly are right in front of us.

But the insidiousness of anger is usually not that subtle and, to top it off, it is used as an effective weapon, often under the guise of love.

3 Reasons to Rid Yourself of Anger and Anxiety

First, the very poison of anger and anxiety is You to You.

Mark Twain said, “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

The reason we must eradicate anger, and i am not talking of righteous anger as even Jesus had that, is to be able to become that which the Creator has destined for us all. I’m speaking of the anger that manifest in your daily life more frequently than not, as an attitude of dis-gratitude. It is the general malaise, the feeling of general discomfort or uneasiness, that one takes into life affecting all that they encounter.

Have you not experienced this yourself in a party situation? People who are “bubbly” draw people to them, right? I am speaking of a quiet confidence here, not a fake party persona that is put on to impress. Anger is indeed the acid that poisons the vessel.

Second, Anger stops you from moving forward, for it is nothing but a fearful look at the future.

I have seen this manifest in various ways, but anger seems to look for ways to always to be insulted. Generally, an angry person will find a way to continue to be angry and thereby making the future Now Moments be a place of fearful anticipation.

Third, the Past continues to be Ever-Present.

Anger is that place that ties you to a person, place or event that keeps you in the past mentally and spiritually. It is almost as if you refuse to let go for fear that the anger is the only thing keeping you grounded, for as insane a reason as that appears. Anger, then, becomes that part of you that is your constant companion.

But to move into this Present Moment is to live not in the anger of the past, but of the experience that it fostered within that will move you forward in a positive way.

In the next posts, we will look at the ways that anger manifest and ways to get to the real root of the anger within. but for now, reflect and allow yourself to become greater than the anger within, for the vessel that is you deserves to be free of the poison of anger.

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Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching directyourownlife@gmail.com

Guilt: The Other White Meat – Part 2

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What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

Dennis Miller

Oh, great! Now I have guilt!

T. Rex, from Toy Story

What is it about humanity that we have decided that guilt is the way we relate on such interpersonal levels to one another knowing that it is based in fear, as discussed in the previous post?
What is it about the ego within us all that we have decided that to keep our little superiority acts in check, we have to be the ones to guilt others into complying with our wishes? Are we so non-trusting within ourselves that we feel that we have to control others, not to mention ourselves, with guilt?

Ego and Guilt Work Hand-in-Hand

In living in Now Moments, guilt can really have no hold on us as it only seeks to keep the past ever present and living and the future looming within us, usually as nothing more than some type of dishonor of our past. The Now Moment is then completely obliterated as non-important, which is exactly as the ego has decided needs to happen.

By the way, the ego completely hates Now Moments.

You see, Now Moments are designed for us to have clarity in this moment so we can plant seeds of greatness in the next Now Moments to come. Guilt robs us of that clarity and keeps our disgusting past that guilt tends to persuade us exists, forever present so that the beauty of this Now Moment is completely abandoned. The ego desires you not to have peace in each and every Now Moment as then what would be the reason for ego to exist in the first place?

Trust me, I have heard more than my share of why “healthy guilt” is a good thing speech, so no need bother. Is the very term not an oxymoron to begin with, and, quite frankly, when people use it they usually have to justify the existence of the term at the very outset.

Guilt is associated with fear and there is no justification for giving fear to another person or living in fear as the spirit of fear is a debilitating spirit that robs you of all joy.

3 Step Process To Plow Through Guilt

Let me give you a quick three-step process that will help you with guilt.

1. Release. This is the first step of taking back your Now Moments. Release yourself, first and foremost. If you want to say it another way, forgive yourself. The past is the past and whatever is done is done. Keeping some past mistake alive forever in the throws of guilt does nothing for your ability to make this Now Moment precious. So you must first release yourself.

2. Let Go. This may seem to be like release but it is all together different in that you must truly let go of guilt by putting space between you and it. Release is the willingness to do so, Letting go is the action.

3. Flow. This is now the most important aspect of the process as it is based in peace. The peace of this Now Moment is a simple allowing of life to unfold all around you so you can become that ever-moving force of strength to yourself and to others around you. In peace there is tranquility within and that always presents itself as a quiet strength without.

Guilt is not healthy, EVER.

Release, Let go and Flow into each and every Now Moment for there the seeds of greatness live.

*******

DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching directyourownlife@gmail.com

The Past is Past: Live Free Without Baggage

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baggage you carry with you Now Moments are but a culmination of the past. But here is a concept, the past is past, so why let it allow itself to influence future Now Moments, which don’t exist yet, and, certainly, should not affect this Now Moment unless it is something that must be dealt with now.

First a discussion about the baggage we carry around with us that is our past.

It is my assertion that whether the baggage is “good” or “bad” and that, my friend, is always subjective, that baggage serves you as you carry it around for whatever reason. I know you are saying “I don’t desire this pain or this burden” but still you have decided to carry it with you and allow it to affect you in this Now Moment in some way, even to the extent that you make decisions that are not ideally logical or sensible based on the fear of the past.

For Fear That

Yes, that is what the past intrinsically is based in most of the time, fear. The fear of not repeating the same mistakes. The fear of being labeled this or that. The fear of ultimately being judged and is that not the ultimate fear? Isn’t that what most peer pressure is based on? The judgment of peers or not being part of the group.

groucho marxSo, I guess you could say, fear and acceptance go hand-in-hand, right? Because we all want to be accepted at some level into a group, maybe we should take a note from the great comedian from the past, Groucho Marx, who said when talking about joining a club, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. “ In that quote we find the ultimate attitude of not allowing others to dictate your actions.

The Past is The Past

Fear is that constant of the past that cripples us in these Now Moments. Rid yourself of fear and many items of the past would come crumbling down. As I often tell those I coach that the thing about any suitcase, what we would think of baggage, is that they are always equipped with latches or zippers in which you are free to open them and empty the contents AT ANY TIME.  The challenge is that, for some reason, many believe that once they are latched or zipped, that it appears that some type of super-secret code or key is needed to undo it.

In reality, the super-secret code or key is your own mind and your decision to release it. The real secret is to determine how the baggage is serving you, I mean, getting to the core emotion as to why it benefits you to carry it with you. When you get to that point, you will find that the suitcase you are holding, that which is holding you back with its weight, is easy to unlatch and empty out.

Now Moments

Now Moments should only hold the seeds of the past as a way to understand the journey now not hamper it going forward. There is much more to be said along these lines, but suffice it to say, we are all on the journey of self-discovery but allowing the past to dictate your Now Moments is a journey we don’t share.

Calm yourself and look at the suitcase and ask yourself why you carry it. Be honest, really honest with yourself and get to the emotion of the heart of the fear for there will be your release.

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DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. If you desire one-on-one coaching contact DA Southern directyourownlife@gmail.com

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