Why Do You Do The Things You Do? 3 Ways To Relieve The Stress of Life

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Life is filled with one reaction after another. Everything seems to be stressful and the aspect of ‘flying off the handle’ or ‘having a knee-jerk reaction’ to something seems to be fairly acceptable these days. Well, if happens too often, we can always get a pill prescribed as seems to be the way in these stressful times..

But really there seems to be a heart condition that is far more spiritual, in nature, than is physical. Although, it has been proven that our stress of being reactive to every thing can, indeed, lead to physical ailments.

What, then, is at the heart of such a rapid decline of civility within ourselves that translates outward into our reality? Why do we find ways to be insulted and grouped together in our victimization?

Is it that we really desire that connection, even if it is through stress of living? Maybe technology has spread us out so far and wide that it is difficult to truly be connected as we are designed to be, one heart to another.

You know, where i sit and write often, there is a group of older, retired men that sit in the local coffee shop and, together, they solve the town’s, country’s and even the world’s challenges in a matter of minutes over a nice cup of coffee.

These men sit together and are seemingly unconnected, except through the coffee club that has connected them. Yet it seems as if there is a peaceful connection that they bring to the restaurant and to each other that cannot be spoken. It is a place of peace within them.

While it is fascinating to hear them as they solve the crisis of the world, there seems to be a far-reaching truth here; the connection that binds them is a connection of the heart and therein lies the truth to a stress-free existence.

Now, some would indeed argue that often relationships are the source of all stress, but i am of the mindset that the relationships that are truly bound together are seldom built on verbal discourse, but of a heart-to-heart connection that is at its source, the place where stress is seldom experienced.

3 Ways to Relieve the Stress of Life

Think about a relationship with a pet. Never words are spoken, but there is a connection that transcends words and lives within the spirit, does it not?Does it not relieve a stress within you?

Way 1: Understand Your Part in the Stream of Life

Now i am certainly not going to sit here and tell you to ‘buck up’ and not to experience life in the ways it is to be experienced, but i am here to lead you to a new reality of your part in the stream of life.

Nothing happens to you as life is not out to get you.

It s easy to get caught up in being a victim to circumstances, to people, to the challenges that seem to surround you on a daily basis.

But, quite frankly, its not them (not life), it’s you. Most have experienced those little words in terms of a relationship gone awry, but it is time for you to say it to life, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

You see, when you can back off and understand that you, and only you, are the responsible party when it comes to living life in the fullness that is our mission in which to do, life becomes a sweeter version of itself.

Life does not happen to you, you are the captain that steers the course. Yes, often times storms can seem to take us away from our course, but if we release the ego and take back the helm from being a victim, we can command the ship return to the designated course that has been designed for us.

You are still here and therefore your course is still as viable as ever.

Way 2: Find Your Happy Place

It has become quite a cliche that we have a ‘Happy Place’ that we go to in times to conflict, but understand that there is a place that many do retreat to that seems to manifest on the external, often times in ways that seem detrimental such as drugs, alcohol, and unhealthy relationships, just to name a few.

However, these things are just an extension of the internal desire to find that place of bliss that is our inner core of peace. Really, then, it comes down to the questions we ask at this point.

What is the external seeking to manifest from within?
What is the stillness that must be found within that gives me peace on the outside?

Where is that place within me that is my calm?

There is a danger here to give another that power which you must resist. Understand that the person or place or thing that you associate with your happiness factor is an extension of something within.

Really sit and source it out for yourself, for at the heart of that understanding is the key to living stress-free.

Way 3: Release Yourself to the Moment of Now

Life happens now and at the source of most stress are the future events that are supposed to happen in some perfect completion or some past that did not happen as planned and is now infecting your Now Moment existence.

This existence of Now is your Happy Place as you are here, are you not? Anything that was supposed to cause you some type of dire consequences has not kept you from this Now Moment. There is nothing that the past supposedly was matters to this exact Now Moment. There is no future as of yet that can not be dealt with.

Ask, “What is the worse that can happen?” if you must, and find a place in this Now Moment to live free of it all, because whether you know it or not, you already are doing so.

Enjoy the sights and sounds of your surroundings. Meditate silently in the conversations of those around you and just listen to the way they speak, the way they reflect as they speak. Notice the nuances of every little action and reaction for when you become ever-present in the Now Moments of life, there is little left for the stress of what should or might be or has been.

Live, now, free of the reactions of living and become the action of living free within yourself. For here alone, is the place of peace that transcends into a life of serenity.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.


dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com


Bubbles and the Ego; 3 Ways to Allow Your Bubble to Float Freely

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google plus circlesThe newest rage in Social Media circles is, well, circles. When Google+ introduced the concept of grouping together people in the logical way that we arrange people in our lives, it made sense.

Have you every blown those bubbles you get at the Dollar Store just for fun? Kids love doing it but why do we lose the simple joy of doing so as adults? Purchase a jar of bubbles soon and just enjoy them so that you can free yourself to think in a Universal Way for a bit.

You see, life itself is really, in a sense, a constant arrangement of circles that seem to float about like bubbles. When two or three or whatever intersect they form a new circle, but the bubbles are fluid and ever changing. Some float seemingly alone for a bit and then others are interconnected always, it would so seem, with other bubbles as that is their nature.

The ego tends to want to control you in such a way as to label the very movement of the bubbles and the way they are connected.

How does the ego do it?

The ego uses various aspects of life that seemingly make sense to us, on the surface, but insecurities are at the heart of all egoic tendencies. The ego takes feelings and emotions and heightens them to become almost seemingly irrational aspects of the way we feel and act.

However, it always makes sense to us. The secret is to allow the bubbles to float free to begin with and never even allow the ego to become involved in anything.

3 Ways To Allow Yours and Others Bubbles to Float Free of Ego

When you notice the very beauty of a bubble, you can see that it seems to be a little piece of perfection floating in time and space. Why then would you allow anything such as the ego to label it or try to control it.

Way 1: Understand the Very Nature of Bubbles

They do best when made and allowed to just float. Yes, we try to control them by giving them waves of our hands or blowing on them to keep them afloat, but usually, when left alone, they will complete their journey that they are destined for. The ego is always trying to control the very nature and path of the bubbles of life. Understand that we are all on our own journey and that each life, each bubble, is a perfection unto itself. Allow people to take their own journeys by not becoming an ego-driven creature based in insecurities.

Way 2: Never Force Connections as They Will Occur Naturally

One thing the ego loves to do is force connections where there are none. I suppose we best see this played out in the aspect of love.

In reality TV, in movies and TV shows, we see that very set-up as a way to enter into a drama situation that is suppose to rivet you to your seat. Well, as that is the intent, it grabs us because, while we may scoff at the antics of some TV or movie character that is mismatched in love, and we know it, it is familiar ground as most have been there in some way within their own bubbles. The forcing of love where there need not be.

The idea that we force any connection, be it a relationship or some event in time and space that is not a natural fit for us, is a way to misshape your bubble.

You have done that while blowing bubbles have you not? Tried to blow many together in such a way that the circle is almost hideous looking and it very seldom last. In fact, often times the bubble cannot even float and drops to the ground and disintegrates before our eyes.

This is the very nature of forced connections in life and in love.

Way 3: Every Bubble Will Travel and Complete its Journey

As much as we allow the ego to try to manipulate others with our words and actions, ultimately we must decide to not become that creature who is so concerned with the actions of others that it causes our actions to be nothing but reactions. That is never a journey worth taking as it is fraught with insecurities in every aspect of living.

Like the bubble, the journey will start at its creation and end with its bursting at its predestined time. But here is the beauty of the bubble. It does not ever truly end. Like us, it just becomes too big for its soapy casing and must become something else.

Like the bubble, we, too, expand past our shell at what many think is the ending, but is truly a new beginning. Allow your bubble and everyone you interact with, to be free of the ego that tries to manipulate and control its course with forced connections.

Live free and float naturally on the winds of time free from the egoic nature that tries to control us all. For there is where life truly exists in its simplicity.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

Your Passion in Life: 3 Ways to Position the Personal Towers of Your Tower Defense Game

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Passion is a funny thing in that it is indeed at the heart of your Tower Defense game that is life.

Let me begin by explaining what a Tower Defense game is if you are unaware of it.

As i do various writing, coaching and directing projects there are times that i need a quick diversion at the computer, where i spend a great deal of time. As i am not a die-hard gamer, i do enjoy simple flash-based games that you can do quickly, like Angry Birds. You know those quick diversions that you can do mindlessly but don’t require you enter into a full-on session as if you would sit down to play Modern Warfare.

Simply put, a Tower Defense-based game is a game in which you are protecting a treasure of some kind or advancing on a treasure.

Wikipedia says it as such; “The goal of tower defense games is to try to stop enemies from crossing a map by building towers which shoot at them as they pass. Enemies and towers usually have varied abilities, costs, and ability costs. When an enemy is defeated, the player earns money or points, which are used to buy or upgrade towers, or upgrade the number of money or points that are earned, or even upgrade the rate at which they upgrade.”

Here is the key concept, from my standpoint, that Wikipedia says about the game, “The choice and positioning of the personal towers is the essential strategy of the game.”

It started me thinking about passion and life as all games that we play are but an extension of who we are. What draws me to this type of game is the aspect that we all have a passion within us, something that defines us and as life sends wave after wave of challenges to our attempt to take our passion from us, we must set our own ‘Personal Towers’ to defend against the waves.

Now, as i have played the various games it has often struck me that one misplaced tower can cause my treasure, my passion, to be affected or taken from me. So you see, often it is our own inability that causes us to lose sight of the passion within us. We become callus and, in many ways, the ego tells us that we are invincible and that it matters not where your own personal towers are, that it, the ego, has it all under control.

That is until it doesn’t and then seeks to blame others, society-at-large or whatever is the current popular blame-game that seems to be all the rage; your bad childhood, some political system or the current state of the economy.

These are mere excuses for the lack of attention that we are to put on our Personal Towers to protect our passion in life.

The real question, then, comes from the examination of that which drives you; you fundamental reason that the Universe has you here and the core values that are your Personal Towers.

3 Ways to Develop and Place Your Personal Towers


Way 1: First Look at What Defines Who You Are and Why it is Important to You.

This is a strictly you asking you what gives you a reason to get up in the morning. The reason you have been given to be as you are.

Here is the thing. No one can or should define you but you for you see, it is a journey that is a singular one, but impacts all who embrace your sphere of life with you.

I recently had the pleasure to interact with a clients granddaughter and was surprise to hear her talk of the project at her school where she and others her age, the rip old age of fourteen, were told that they had to ‘pick’ a career.


At this age, most kids have no clue what they want to do, unless it is just a God-given journey that has manifest itself already in very obvious ways.To have to ‘choose’ something when they are so into themselves, generally, is a bastardization of the creative process that the creator has designed for us all.

As the young girl sought to ask my opinion knowing that i had coached her grandmother, she asked if she was bound to be this ‘whatever’ that she was to decide. I thought for a moment, knowing that it could give her some type of vision for her own Personal Tower. I simply told her that a career generally is not decided on, but finds her naturally. Essentially, you don’t choose a career, a career chooses you.

Way 2: Set your Personal Towers Carefully

Your passion is who you are and i am not talking about you being a lawyer or a doctor or a director. Your passion is the true part of you that gives you a greater-than-yourself view of the Universe, for there is no greater view to have.

Your Personal Towers are the core values that surround you and set you up to be the creative being that manifest greatness. It is the way you Direct your Power to be the you that is simply a powerful creator as that is what we all have been designed to be.

Be willing to take stock of your core values and rid yourself of the ones that are no longer working for you. Just because you have always done it that way, doesn’t mean that it is right for you.

Way 3: Upgrade Your Personal Towers

When playing the Tower Defense games, your real power comes from upgrading the Personal Towers in such a way as to get maximum effect on the hordes that are trying to reach your core.

Always taking stock and being willing to adapt and change and increase yourself is the secret to Directing Your Own Life and becoming what was designed just for you by the Universe. Take the opportunity to reach within and ‘upgrade’ your core values to Direct Your Power to become the you that is best for you.

For here is where all truth lays waiting for you to embrace.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

The Action of Reaction; 3 Ways to Get a Grip

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In the height of any political season reactions are heightened in the media, between people and between ideologies. Now, the premise here is not to choose a side, a ’right’ or ‘wrong’, for most, i have found have an outlook based on upbringing or transformational actions that have happened in their lives.

But the bigger point here is that it seems that reactions to the common everyday nuances of life are heightened. It seems that we become more reactive to every passing news account or video that we see.

Face it, it is reactions that spark debate. It is reactions that are at the core of every reality show. It is reactions that hit you square in the face as you progress through the Now Moments of your day that cause you to react in ways that are not Present Moment peace.

Rita Mae Brown said it beautifully when she said, “A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.”

You see, when we become strictly reactive beings, we lose the argument before it even begins. Many times in relationships, it is the reactions that partners seem to desire most. It seems that it is the reactions that seem to mean that they care for one another, but really it is more manipulation than anything else. When a partner attempts to ‘hit your hot buttons’ it comes from an egoic center to gain control and never from a place of love.

Wayne Dyer said, “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” Meaning that we are responsible for what we do alone. It is how you choose to react, but the bigger truth is the actions of self that are your truth.

3 Ways to Get a Grip on Your Reactive State

“Do attempt to control the horizontal, do not control the vertical, we are in control,” so says the man from the beginning of every Twilight Zone episode from the past, so must you be to your reactive state. It is all a matter of you coming from a place of the Present Moment.

Way 1: Lag Time

Think about reactions. They are so, well, reactive, are they not? They come pouring out seemingly from your very soul before you know it, it seems. But to get a grip,you need to think of lag time.

I view reactions like i view having to give an account to someone for no apparent reason; totally unnecessary.

What do i mean? Well, when someone ask you do to something or go somewhere with them, and you care not to do so, do you give an excuse as to why you can’t, true or not? most have, but here is the beauty of being an adult, you don’t have to. In fact, haven’t you looked at a soul whose ‘No’ and ‘Yes’ alone were enough? It is almost as if you admired their courage just to say no or yes and be done with it. No excuses, no explanations.

That is essentially, Lag Time.the ability to think first and then say no or yes and be done with it. Lag Time is the actual thinking of what was said, and thoughtfully putting words to any thoughts that you then proclaim. A rule of thumb is a seven count, but if you are truly thinking, you need not actually count it. But tale the time anyway.

Way 2: Don’t Allow Guilt or Manipulation to Enter

This is a danger zone for sure, especially if you have not immediately been made to answer as the person, or situation, has demanded from you. I hear this a lot, that some ‘situation’ makes you respond, but unless you are in danger in that moment, most situations have no feeling how you should react or if you should at all. Most ‘situations’ are people-produced and usually ego based.

The key here is to be aware of guilt and manipulation and the effects that it has had on you. Becoming aware is the first step to not allowing guilt in to begin with.

Way 3: Don’t Look Back

This ties into both Way 1 & 2, in that the ego will question us and make us begin to doubt our lack of reactions.

“You have always reacted this way before, why not now?” the ego will say, but here is where the confidence of being a person of action, not reaction, comes in. Make no excuses for who you are and give no explanations, if one is not needed, for you are in control of this Now Moment. You are to Direct Your Power and be the person who others will look to as courageous for your non-reactive state.

Allow the Present Moment to be your place where you are a person of action, not a reactive sort that has no confidence in who they are.

Direct Your Own Life here for only you can.

Until next time…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

What is Your Self-Storage Worth? The 3 Step Process to Clean It Out

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Did you know that in the USA alone every year that over 15 Billion is spent on self-storage? We have so much stuff that we have to rent places to keep it all.

There was an old comedic routine done by the late comedian, George Carlin, where he talked of that very dilemma; the buying of bigger houses to make room for more of our stuff. He stated that it was not so much that we needed bigger houses for anything but that very fact, to hold our stuff.

Now, that same stuff has spilled over into a 15 Billion dollar industry because we think we need so much stuff.

When i was a kid, my mother did Spring Cleaning every year and it was really that we actually got rid of a bunch of our stuff we didn’t truly need. Except for the actual cleaning that she was hell-bent on putting us all through, i saw the simplicity of the process, even though she didn’t mean it as such.

Today shows like “Horders” fill our TV screens and we all drive by storage facilities that are more secure than some of our banks these days. I mean, do you know the process to get into one of those places?

Gates and guards and fences, Oh My. Man, oh man, we wouldn’t want anyone to steal our extra stuff, would we now.

What is my point?

I deal with many a client who harbors all kinds of stuff they no longer need in secure facilities within themselves. They are locked up and secured and kept ‘just in case’ they (well, the ego) needs to get to it later.


To be insulted by something, to be mad about something or mad at somebody, to remind themselves of the failures of the past and how, for some unknown reason, they cannot possibly advance until the stuff in storage is dealt with.

The challenge lies not so much with the stuff, but that it, the mental ‘stuff’ that is being kept under lock and key and surrounded by a moat that the ego has built and filled with gators just to make sure no one breeches, is there to begin with.

You wouldn’t want to rid yourself of some type of limiting behavior now would you?

You wouldn’t want to free yourself of the behaviors and feelings that, for some reason, are still serving you, would you?

Would You?

The 3 Step Process to Begin the Clean-Up Process

The mental storage facility that we have become so adept at hording all of the limitations and failures we hold so dear needs to be not only cleaned out, but we need to refuse to pay any more emotional rent on the facility as well.

Step 1: Understand the Nature of Your Facility.

We all harbor stuff for different reasons, but i have found that there seems to be a theme, a reason the ego has constructed such a fortress to begin with. If yours is anger, then you will see that many of the things you keep have an anger component attached. If it is being a victim, then the stuff that keeps you as such is the primary focus of the facility. Yes, there is usually a mixture as they all seem to feed on one another, but there is a dominant component, none the less.

Step 2: Move Everything Out of the Mental Storage Unit

Now, here is a mental process that is going to be your ‘spring cleaning’ of sorts. This is where the stuff needs to be dealt with and given away or, probably thrown away. It means that you need to ask yourself the basic question, ‘Why is this serving me?” However, this is the final spring cleaning you must do.

Be honest.

Step 3: Refuse to Pay Any More Emotional Rent

I have found this step, believe it or not, the most difficult to deal with. It seems that most will go through the spring cleaning process, but it is exactly that, a ‘spring cleaning’. Most anticipate another one coming so holding on to the storage unit is a must.

There is a process in time management that says that where most fall down is the failure to deal with papers, folders or items in the time management stream that can be dealt with now. The procedure is that once something comes into your hand, you either deal with it, assign it  to someone, or file it only if there is a component that is missing that you are waiting on someone else to do.

As good Now Moment souls that we are, we know that if we deal with it in one of these ways, we no longer attach any emotional energy to it. When the missing components are attached we then complete the journey of that item. We have no need to have a bunch of papers, magazines, or useless items filling our spaces.

Such is the journey of those things that were in the mental storage unit. You no longer have a use for the storage unit nor will you ever. Deal with it and free it so that this Present Moment is the one you exist in. Do not allow the past, the storage unit filled to the brim, be your existence.

Rid yourself of it once and for all for the truth is that the very nature of storage units make you a slave of your stuff and you are a better creator than that.

Direct Your Power.

Until next time…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

The Ego of Fear – The 2.5 Solution (Part 2)

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I love the abc TV show called, the Shark Tank, that broadcasts on Friday’s on the abc Network. If your haven’t seen it, give it a look as it really does embrace the concept of fear in so many ways.

The premise is that you have 5 well-known investors who listen to various product creators as they ‘pitch’ their ideas to these savvy business moguls for a chance to take their ideas to a wider audience with their financial backing.

The very cool aspect of many of the ideas/creations is that they are usually born from a passion of the person(s) who are presenting the ideas and have a sense of purpose and are not simply ‘just to make money’. The ones who are seeking the Shark’s funding are standing before the Sharks with simply a vision of what could be and are asking for monetary assistance and, even more important, mentor-ship to guide the products from creation to a wider market.

The product presenters don’t always get the funding, most don’t, but they are there putting aside their fears for a larger vision. Many of them who don’t get the funding often will get calls from other possible investors after the program airs. Investors that do see their vision and are willing to take a chance on the person with the idea.

The overall concept here, i believe, is that these people embraced their fears, that egoic nature to play it safe and not allow yourself to be hurt. They saw something outside themselves and went for it and disallowed ego and fear to be involved. Instead, they allowed their passion for their idea or concept to triumph over fear.

Why do you think people who find out that they are dying all of a sudden start developing or, at long last, start knocking off the items on their bucket list.

You do know what a bucket list is, right? Simply, all of those things you want to do before you ‘kick the bucket’. If you haven’t got one, start one. If nothing else you will begin to see what fear and the ego are keeping you from.

In the 2.5 Fear Solution mentioned in the last post, we discussed the nature of fear how and it isolates and terrifies you like a bad computer virus. It infects your very soul and, like a computer virus, we often download it quite innocently.

You see, no one goes about downloading fear. However, well-meaning parents who instill fear in their child about every possible harmful element of life and a media and society who scream at you with headline after headline about the dreadful things that will happen to you just for the fact that you are breathing are used by the ego and fear to envelop you in a climate of fear. We have become a culture of fear and it is time to stem the tide.

You see, the ego is like the government. In the USA and in other governments around the world, they try to instill in their citizenry that they, are the only solution for all fear that you might be subjected to and that they must protect you from, well, everything. What fear does, with the ego, is to tell you that you are to live in complete mistrust of everyone and everything. That love no longer matters and that life is a dangerous place.

Well, there is one thing that is true for all of us; we all do not get out of life alive, that much is for sure. But here is the beauty of what fear and the ego do not tell you. Life is a a beautiful place that and that we are to bring every ounce of joy and living to it with a reckless abandon.

There is an old saying that i like that says, ‘if you aren’t living on the edge, you are taking up too much space.’ Ego and fear, or as i like to call them FEego, hate that. They exist to make you normal, what ever that is, and to keep you safe and secure…Whatever THAT means, as well.

The Fear Solution 2.5

In step 1, we were to understand the true nature of fear. From here we shall build our software program, or app, to deal with fear in our lives.

Fear Solution 2.5 Step 2: Make a Commitment to Yourself

Like in the Shark Tank, we should be ready to stand before ourselves and present our ideas so as to go beyond ourselves. You see, in that show, the people may have tons of fear and apprehensions about themselves, at the core, but it is as if once they walk through the big doors into the Shark Tank, they make a commitment at that point as it is too late to turn back.

Maybe you have had many ideas and fear has kept you from exploring them. Your ego has used its best pal, fear, as a way to keep you from advancing.

Here is the challenge; We are expansive creatures. We are the very nature of the Universe itself. It expands as so do we. Believe it or not, it is the truth. It is like gravity. You may not believe in the concept of it, but step off the building and that concept will change in a micro-second.

As is the expression in many a sales environment goes, ‘When you are green you are growing, When you are ripe you are rotten.” Essentially, we are ever-evolving creatures that need to expand our consciousness and our world.

It took Edison over 1500 times with the light bulb to get it right. When someone asked him about why he kept going after ‘failing’ so many times. Edison responded, ‘I didn’t fail 1500 times, i just found 1500 times it didn’t work.’

Thank God for him and Thank God for you. It is time to make a commitment to yourself that fear and ego are no longer part of your existence. Don’t take the pronouncement from a doctor to get your bucket list started.

The Bucket List concept is really the removal of fear and ego, for what is the use of safety and security when we understand there is none. No person, work environment or government can guarantee you anything. Fear is not a factor any longer in your life once you make the commitment to yourself.

In Part 3, we will look at the steps to take to embrace your new found commitment, for here in the weeds lies fear and ego waiting, often disguised as ‘well-meaning’ family and friends.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

The Ego of Fear – The 2.5 Solution (Part 1)


For some reason, at this time of the year, around that Day called Valentines, many movies are released that are, for a lack of a better term, slasher movies.

For some reason, love and being killed and maimed, are somehow interlinked. Insert your own comment here as most have a story of love being like that. But as soon as you have allowed the ego to ‘remind’ you of some relationship gone bad, put away your fears about love and move on.

Now there is no doubt that movies such as these are released for a reason; a subliminal and cynical look at love, i suppose. But i tend to have a different view of it all and a view that tends to the real issue here; the fear of it all in love and in life.

You see, a culture of fear that we now live in, grabs and holds us in the very seat of power that is always the ego. There is no rationalization for not being simply the very best for yourself and for those who inhabit your realm. If you exist in fear, then you take away the power given to you by the universe to become magnificent creatures of pure joy.

The ego is so in charge of the fear solution in your life that there is a very real possibility that you are totally unaware that you have succumbed to this way of life.

Fear, and all associated layers the ego uses to keep you grounded in your Now Moments, is the place you desire deep in the recesses of your heart not to be. But somehow through the media, social interactions and the past that your ego has decided to keep you in, you don’t progress in thought, word or deed.

You merely exist.

What is fear, then? It is “An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” as is described in the dictionary.

The key here that is the basis for the ego; “belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.”

Really? This is how you desire to take the most magnificent creation of the Universe, the human life-force, and allow some egoic belief that something is LIKELY to cause pain or threat?

What are some of the synonyms for the word, likely, here? They are, probable, plausible, feasible, apt, fit and possible. None of these words that have any certainly attached to them but they are words the ego uses to keep you in a constant state of non-action and in a place of discontent, what many call ‘out of balance.’

The 2.5 Fear Solution

In this era of software updates and beta testing, we have the Fear Solution 2.5. For as does fear and the ego evolve to become this new strain, like a nasty virus in your computer, we become more vigilant with every release of our solutions to rid you of fear and of the egoic nature that holds you back.

The 2.5 Fear Solution is a series of steps that take you from where you are to where you desire to be in a way that dispenses of the egoic nature that holds you in that place in your live where “likely” has become a concrete, unmovable block in your path.

2.5 Step 1: The understanding of the nature of fear

While the ego uses the elements of fear to hold you in a place you often don’t desire to be, you must understand that the beginning of fear within will manifest outside of yourself.

You see, since fear is so intertwined in our lives, it is hard to understand the truth about it as a force in any given situation. It seems the fear of one situation, totally unrelated to another, becomes the rationale to infect the secondary fear.

Here is a very simple example that people use to rationalize what i call, across-the-board fear. I was at a party recently where a lady was talking about her pets. She proceeded to tell her guest that she didn’t like cats because, when she was a young girl, a cat, according to her, attacked her. She said that she didn’t like cats because of that.

Yes, i can see what she means. When i was a young boy, an adult was mean to me as well, therefore i don’t like any adults now. Wait, that was my parent and i am sure i did nothing to instigate that at all. Also, in my primitive, child-like mind, i was a very me-centered creature that was hyper-sensitive to any tonal qualities of someone ‘being mean’ to me.

Do you see how the ego uses an incident to carry into life in general? Understanding the nature of fear really involves taking the situation that is ‘likely’ causing you to not progress and dissecting it like a surgeon to get to the root cause of fear.

Like a computer program, we will take the virus and use our computer code to isolate and eradicate the past hurt or whatever the ego has used to ‘protect’ you from this current-day situation.

And like computer code, we are simply performing the functions of our code without an emotional attachment, if at all possible. The key here is to isolate the virus to rid ourselves from cross-contamination that the virus causes.

However, like a computer virus, fear can cause the whole system to shut down forcing a reinstall.

Sometime that is exactly what we need to do.

In the next post, we will continue with the 2.5 Fear Solution and how to reset your computer to not allow fear to become your living and loving pattern for life.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best


Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.


directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking directyourownlife@gmail.com

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