Get Out Of Your Own Way: A 3-Step Process For Truly Living

1 Comment

We all have done it; Gotten in our own way when it comes to our hopes and dreams of a better tomorrow, right?

Well, therein lies the very tool the ego uses to distract you from your way, the allusion, vision, hope, dream of a better whatever at some ‘future’ date. It is as if the only thing that matters is the future.

It is not surprising as many are led to believe that very thing about life. Author Mark Twain was known to have said, “Plan for the future because that’s where you are going to spend the rest of your life.”

While i admire Mark Twain, i believe him to have spoken with a bent towards the satirical and for the absurdity of life in general. I think no quote more indicates that Mark Twain was a passionate fellow who had a bent towards the Now Moment and the release of fears that hold you back; essentially just getting out of your own way.

To Illustrate my point is this quote from Mark Twain who said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

But the process sounds so easy, doesn’t it? But unfortunately the ego enters into the picture with the constant drone of ‘security’ (or the lack of it) in your head.

We always have to be ‘secure’, right?

Most adult figures in your life preached this very thing to you. People even asses their possible marriages on this very fact; not so much is this someone you can weather all the beautiful challenges that may come your way together, but is this person stable enough for me? Are they secure enough to provide?

The ego fills your head with insecurities; about yourself, about your possible mate; about life in general, all built on this idea that there is this mystical security out there.

We have no one to blame but ourselves, of course, as we have become a culture of ‘entitlement’, at least in the USA. Everyone is entitled to, well, everything. Free this or that. We are all entitled because we deserve it for whatever reason.

But it only feeds into the real challenge; getting out of our own way so we can truly become the Universal Way of Life to ourselves and to those that intersect our bubble that is our life.

The 3-Step Process of Getting Out of Your Own Way

So, in this day and age where we seem to make everything a bit to over-complicated, one would think that a simple 3-step process is a bit too simple. Well, we are all on our own journey. If you decide you want to make it complicated, so be it. But, at the heart of the process are the last three words of the Twain quote; Explore. Dream. Discover.

Step 1: Exploration

Here in this word is the very nature of finding out about yourself for before any journey there is a period of self-discovery, is there not?

Some say that they learn about themselves on the journey, which is rightfully so, but, in truth, the journey must start within first. There is a part that must release the ego and allow yourself to take the journey to begin with. So exploration is always a journey from the heart to begin with. This goes for any new aspects of life that you are exploring. Never allow your ego or the opinions of others to set the parameters for your exploration for it is your journey alone, no matter how many others your bubble touches.

Step 2: Dream

This is simply allowing yourself to think out loud. This is feeling the wind in your hair and knowing that the Universe makes no mistakes, ever.

I often tell clients when they are speaking of some ‘failure’ that has befallen them. “Do you think that God is standing there saying”, “Gee, I never saw that one coming. Who would of thought that Joe would do that. Really, I Never saw that coming.”

No, the short answer. the Universe is the same for all; an abundant, joyful place that gives and expands with every breath we take. Dream on and allow yourself to see the possibilities. History is replete with men and women from all walks of life who have dreamed outside themselves and through whatever challenges that life threw at them and achieved for themselves. In fact, most would tell you that it was in the ‘failures’, or what society had deemed as such, was their greatest learning opportunities.

Step 3: Discover

This is pure release. The idea is that we can allow ourselves to see the beauty in every Present Moment with the ability of Discovery of simple every day aspects of our journey.

But the challenge is that we get caught in ruts and allow life to slip by in such a way so as to become a stagnant search for security in the mundane.

But this is what happens when, as Twain says, you “release the bowlines and sail away from safe harbor.” This is discovery of self and of the beautiful world that we have been given. This is the truth of the statement, “Stop and smell the roses.”

Release yourself to the Present Moment and Discover the beauty within and without for here is where all truth lies waiting for us.

The Simple 3-Step process; Explore. Dream. Discover. It is up to you to first release your insecurities that the ego has set as the stumbling blocks to a beautiful Now Moment.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking directyourownlife@gmail.com

3 Ways to Allow the Ego to Not Determine Your Future Happiness

Leave a comment

“Get your head out of the clouds son and think about your future.” my dad would tell me.

As i now look at the lunacy of that statement as a Present Moment thinker and coach, i have begun to breech the very nature of the future as a place the ego likes to keep us forever tied as a place where it, alone, has the answers of your hopes and dreams.

How could you ever doubt the ego, right? I mean, as long as you are forever looking forward, the very Now of it all is certainly of no concern.

But the trap is set and we have all fallen victim to it, or maybe, are in its clutches in this very Now Moment. The future, that glorious hope that this stinking Now Moment won’t exist. The very device that the ego keeps you from seeing beauty in this Present Moment keeps most from the understanding that when the “future” gets here, what is it really?

It is the Now Moment.

But the ego has a powerful ally in its always endeavor of a future pull; Life and all who participate and tell you as much to begin with.

We are told from as far back as babies that the future is all that matters. Kids are even told as early as kindergarten to choose a career path and encouraged to think of the resources that are needed to get there in the future.

Really?

Yes, we all have a destiny within us, that which gives our souls that sense of eternity, but it is a journey of self discovery that should be allowed to manifest in an organic way within each ones own individual journey.

Hollywood movies and accounts of famous people throughout the ages have heralded the journey of those who have “bucked the system” and struck out on their own to find their destiny according to themselves. You see, when you allow others and the ego to always think of the future and what you ‘should’ be doing, this Now Moment becomes unimportant. Essentially, reality can only truly exist then in some future event.

When you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous does it not?

I liken the future as telling someone to ‘try’ and pick up a glass from a counter. They can either pick up the glass or not pick up the glass, you cannot ‘try’ to. That, in essence, is the future. It is always something that is simply a ‘try’ scenario; you are trying to make it something it is not.

Yoda said it best when talking to Luke Skywalker, “Do or do not, there is no try.” You have got to admit that that little green Jedi Master knew what to say, right?

Living in some future reality is the actual living with ‘your head in the clouds.’  The future is not here nor shall it be as the ego designs it for you. Many people fall into the landmines of future happiness in some future relationship, some future perfect job, some future perfect living conditions. This is at the heart of stress and depression for many people; the future not as planned.

Let me give you an analogy here. As a director, i would give people a script at the beginning of rehearsals that defined the parameter of the show. We had the future in our hands, but what brings uniqueness to the future are not the set words written in the script, but the actors that are saying the words, bringing life to them.

As much as we all know as we rehearse the play, the future of how it will end, the performance is as mysterious as any future ever is. Will the actor say all of the words in the script as written? Maybe, maybe not, but one thing is for sure, the only moment we have to make the show flow is to bring the Now Moments we spend on the script to light on Opening Night and beyond.

The ego always has your head in the clouds and it is called the future, and it is not written yet.

3 Ways to Allow the Ego to Not Determine Future Happiness

Step 1: Understand that the past is called that for a reason, it is gone and no longer defines you.

Many fall into the trap of being forever tied to a past comment, emotion or event that is supposed to become their future. While they are tied there, they become then so embroiled within it that the future then becomes this constant embracing of the past, trying to ‘make it right’.

Typical tactic of the ego in that as long as it can keep you in the past or so tied up in the past that you are forever striving to make it a better future, you are forever kept of balance and never fully capable of connecting with the truth that is you.

Many times you see it of people who come from a dysfunctional home environment when they say that they will never be like the environment that they came from. On the surface, that sounds admirable, but when you are so tied to an identity of what you don’t want to become that it is all you do to not become it, you never fully define the truth of who you are in this Now Moment.

Step 2: Release the preconceived ideas and emotions of others about your journey

Hollywood loves making movies about the person in a family who doesn’t desire to go into the family business and seeks out on a journey of self-discovery.

Why do you think that movies such as these speaks to us so deeply?

Because it is in our very core, especially if we have indeed done something that is really counter-intuitive to who we are deep inside. We are on the journey that is ours alone. If it is what your family and does indeed bring you joy, it is in your core, then by all means become your destiny. But when guilt defines your journey, it is the simple act of the ego defining who you are and will always take you from the joy of Now Moments.

Step 3: Understand that this Now Moment is the only future you have.

When you put away the guilt of what others think your journey should be and focus on what it is within you, what brings you joy, then become that journey.

As i don’t subscribe to the concept of regret, as it is merely an egoic way of living in some past that the ego uses to define you current reality, this Now Moment becomes the place to leave it where it belongs; buried and left on its own.

There is a truth in living as a creature of joy and not allowing some future to be as much for you. Like Opening Night, we know the future may exist, but there is no guarantee. It is in the rehearsal in this Now Moment that defines any future Now Moments that might become your reality.

Live them brilliantly for that is the only truth you will ever truly experience

Be Excellent, Expect the Best.

*******

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking directyourownlife@gmail.com

Mindfulness and Living With Vision

1 Comment

As humans with stories that we tell that become our existence, not only do we become those stories, but we use them as a way to define moments lived solely in the future. The future becomes a continuation of the stories and not a place lived in love, a place lacking a Vision or mission. The future is then the ever-present reality of that place we are always striving for in the past.

While it is mindful to imagine a future filled with things, as it is the human condition to have goals, there is a danger here. Goals are not Vision, but are merely subsets thereof. It is in the bible that the words are penned, “Where there is no vision, the people perish” but here is the distinction.

As creatures of expansion, as has been given to us by our creator and is the way of the universe, we sometimes mistake Goals for Vision. You can have a goal to make a certain amount of money, but that is just a thing, a tangible object that defines your pursuit.

But Vision is completely different; the definition, besides the obvious of someone seeing, is:

1. Unusual competence in discernment or perception; intelligent foresight: a leader of vision.
2. The manner in which one sees or conceives of something.
3. A mental image produced by the imagination.
4. The mystical experience of seeing as if with the eyes the supernatural or a supernatural being.

You see, Vision carries an extra dynamic and has all of the component of mindfulness built into it. Vision is that process of not just seeing some thing to be obtained, but really a larger-than-yourself experience to better the human condition.

Vision carries the very presence of living completely in the Present Moment because, quite frankly, when you think in a supernatural realm, you intrinsically know that there is only this Now Moment to achieve Vision. It seems like a dichotomy, two especially mutually exclusive or contradictory concepts, that cannot possibly work together.

How can having a Vision to change the world NOT be totally future based?

For the simple reason that when you release the ego and go outside yourself, there is only a passion that must live in this Present Moment alone. You have only this Present Moment alone to be the person of change, the person of Vision. You must first be that vision for yourself, and then it becomes the driving force for living life.

In the concept of a theatrical experience, Goals would be like opening a show, Opening Night, while the vision would be to change the way the very experience of theatre is perceived to the people you serve. You introduce art and beauty to a world that maybe had limited, if any, exposure prior to this point.

That is Vision. To raise the experience of the beauty of art to another level that transcends the Opening Night experience. The Vision then becomes a mission to impact the human condition.

Remember as you create goals, that it is really about having a Vision for who you are as a person of quality. Be more than merely goals. Become the Vision and lose your ego to the greater good. Then you will truly experience beauty in living, a true love for life.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is a Strategic Personal Development Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching directyourownlife@gmail.com

Clarity of Vision, Focus And Personal Development Are Often Masked by the Sun

Leave a comment

Focus, Clarity and Personal Development is the Triangle of Love.

Face it, we are overwhelmed with instantaneous news and content that blasts our senses with information at such a rapid pace, it is a wonder we get anything done at all. It is almost as though, in the world of smartphones, tablets and instant everything, clarity is overload. It as if we are being told that unless we have the information we need RIGHT NOW, we can’t function in today’s modern society. Clarity, vision and personal development, it seems, hinge on the amount of information you have, not the simplicity of it all.

Now, trust me, I am not a “You kids get off of my lawn” kind of guy. I am a tech person thru-and-thru. I love gadgets and, quite frankly do all my pursuits online and with technology, so I understand the temptation to depend on your very thinking with the overload that is today’s world.

But as I sit and type this, I look out my window on what appears to be a beautiful, sunny day. But what the sun is masking in all of its information overload of brightness is that when I step outside to go on my daily bike ride, the sun didn’t tell me it was cold.

You see, the sun overloaded my senses with its brightness but failed to give me clarity. It was only until I garnered my own experience and perspective, did I see the usefulness of clarity. It was only when I set about on my personal development, in this case health by riding my bike, did i understand that i needed to protect myself from the cold.

It is that time of year when we are hyper-focused on “getting it right”, whatever that means, and setting goals and plans and dreams and riches and success and blah, blah, blah. But what really needs to happen here is your putting on the sunglasses and deciding for yourself what is right for you.

This is the only Now Moment you have and it is the time when clarity is not decided by the world telling you because of a certain season of the calendar year that you should do this or that.

Remember that your goals are Opening Nights. They are out there only as a reminder that you want to entertain the masses when the curtain opens. But that that opening curtain is only going to matter in this Now Moment. This Now Moment when you are clear and focused on your part only. While the other actors in your play may surprise you in their acting from time to time, you will never be thrown off as you know YOU so well that you can get them back on track, if needed because of your focus and clarity.

Clarity, Focus and Personal Development are the three sides of the triangle that keep you grounded in this Now Moment, so, put on your sun glasses and decide for yourself that this is the moment that matters most.

Set Opening Night, but don’t live there. Forgive the rehearsal nights of the past that may you may have been “off” as we all have our off nights where it seems as if we just don’t have a rhythm. Forgive yourself and others for it makes the journey better.

That’s the beauty of rehearsal, to become excellence in this Now Moment. Make clarity, focus and personal development your triangle that envelops your success and your Opening Night will be filled with accolades.

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching directyourownlife@gmail.com

The Theme of Goals; There Is No Place Like Home

Leave a comment

“You were able to get there any time, dear. Just tap your heels together and say, “There is no goal I can’t reach, there is no goal I can’t reach, there is no goal I can’t reach.”

OK…so I took some liberties with that infamous quote from the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy finds that she always had the power to get home. (Uhh, thanks Good Witch Glenda for that little piece of info, by the way. Would have been extremely helpful before the flying monkeys came around!)

But now that I think of it, I guess that is the point of it all. We all have to take our own journey down the Yellow Brick Road or we don’t appreciate the joy of the journey. But when it comes to those dastardly things called “Goals”, we are not unlike Dorothy at all, are we not? But the difference is that we are probably more like the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Man and the Scarecrow; We lack courage, a heart and a brain and become nothing more than fodder for the flying monkeys.

Now, as a Now Moment thinker, this may seem a bit odd me talking all goals and such, but I assure you I am still imminently in the Now Moment. Goals are our “Opening Night” as we relate theatrical endeavors. We set them up and then we rehearse each and every Now Moment towards being ready for them when it is time. Where most fall down in the process is not so much in the setting of Opening Night, but in the rehearsal schedule.

What do I mean?

You see, before we ever even audition for the people to fill the roles, we have to have a rehearsal schedule in place. The roles, of course, are the people and events that have to happen to fulfill our goals. Even if it is a somewhat focused goal, as the old saying goes, “No man is an island”. No matter what the goal is, there are most likely people and circumstances that involve others to get you to Opening Night; that which is your goal.

Where we become heartless, brainless and lacking in courage is that we set an ambitious goal and then just say it over and over like that is supposed to give it some type of meaning and never bother to set a rehearsal schedule. In fact, like most New Years resolutions, we set it, and go full force into it and then burnout as we realize it is seemingly unattainable. It would be like giving an actor chosen for a show the script, telling him or her that we will rehearse the play tonight, learn it all, and open tomorrow night.

Can you imagine the horror?

Anyone who has ever acted can tell you of having dreams of that very fright. Curtain opens and you know none of your lines.

The point is that the rehearsal schedule for your goals is really no different. By breaking the goal into tiny little rehearsal-night pieces, you ready yourself for Opening Night one Now Moment at a time.

Opening Night is out there but here is the difference between the egoic nature and Now Moment thinking. The egoic nature has you obsessing about all that might, could or should go wrong on Opening Night, forgetting about rehearsing. Now Moment thinking says, we are as excellent as we can be in this Now Moment and are confident that Opening Night will reflect our excellence in each Now Moment.

Set your rehearsal schedule before you audition for the show and the theme of your goals will always be peace in your Now Moments. You then will indeed be able to tap your feet and say, “There is no place like home.”

Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and share with your friends, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching directyourownlife@gmail.com

%d bloggers like this: