The Journey of Worry: 3 Ways to Understand How it Undermines You

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How is it that souls of love that we are all truly destined to become, have allowed this fear of living, fear of life to pervade our very existence? It is my belief that worry is the one place within us that seems to infect every aspect of our beings.

Let me come at it in a different way than most would.

Worry is that common emotion of the soul that has no place ever within us, yet we excuse it in ourselves and find it repugnant in every one else.

How often do we tell someone else not to worry, when that is our inclination to do so?

It is almost as if we are expected to worry about life in so many ways and if we don’t we are called “flighty” or “cold-hearted” or we are irresponsible in some way. Imagine that, the very act of NOT worrying and staying true to who you are makes you irresponsible in the eyes of some.

Can you imagine if you decided to travel the world and, because you set out on a journey of self discovery, you are labeled as irresponsible. Isn’t that the height of responsibility in and of itself? Isn’t the very act of discovering yourself mean you become a better person of love for the human condition.

If you find yourself living is such fear as to not make that journey, then merely look at the program, The Amazing Race, where teams travel around the world in a short amount of time. What most take from the race is the journey within that transforms them and their relationships with not only one another, but with humanity.

By seeing other cultures and participating in tasks that many times test their assumptions about themselves, the individuals find that their fear of truly living was baseless. That their worry about life, in general, was nothing more than the ego’s attempt to “protect” them.

Protect them from what? Not sure but the ego is constantly telling you and showing you, often based in nothing, what to worry about.

3 Ways to Understand How Worry Impacts your Journey

Worry is so baseless that it cripples us from truly living life. The sad fact is that society breeds that fear from childhood on. Oh, I’m not saying that we aren’t to be aware of our surroundings but we are not to live in a constant state of “what if” this or that happens.

Way 1: The “What-If’s” of Life

The ego can play out a scenario to its end based on a “what if” situation so compelling that you may actually believe it. Sometimes even so much as to manifest the very worry the ego has so cleverly ‘what if’ed” so the ego can say to you, “See, i told you so.” Then once the ego has you there, you actually feel guilt about not worrying.

Do you see the insidiousness of worry?

Way 2: Worry of Others via the Ego

There is another component of worry that really is at the core of worry to begin with. The ego masks it as “making sure you are good with yourself.” It is the “What others think of me and my decisions” thought pattern as a guide for living truth in your life that is your journey alone.

Yes, we impact others with our lives, that is the very nature of living, but if you come from a place of truth, from a place of love, then there seldom will a worry be a concern of how you impact others.

The very thought that your belief that others thoughts, that you assign to them, about you, are somehow a determinant for living your life is bizarre.

However, It happens all the time.

Way 3: The Present Moment is Always Sacrificed on the Altar of Worry

The Present Moment is never the friend of worry and the ego goes to great lengths to make sure that it is not involved in any way in the process. Understand that living in the moment means that you give away your thoughts to a greater power.

There is a release factor that must take place and trust me, when you truly start to live in this arena, the slings and arrows will fly at you from every corner as one who doesn’t “take life seriously”.

This is the insidiousness of worry and how it has become so prevalent within our modern-day society. We are almost expected to sacrifice the present moment to the altar of worry. This is a trap far too many fall into but you can decide not to take the journey.

In the end, life will meet you in the most uncommon of places when you release the worry-demon that tries to infect your living.

Your pursuit of excellence is to not allow it to happen.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

3 Ways We Can Seek To Separate Ourselves From Anxiety

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There are so many ways that anxiety seems to rear its ugly head, especially within a society that treasures achievement such as ours.

While there is nothing wrong with achieving as that is the Universal Way, (actually more expansion of who we are than achievement, per se.) the very nature of achievement sometimes seems to go against the act of living a victorious life.

One might call those strong words but i am not here to tread lightly as i have no desire to coddle anyone when it comes to living a life of excellence.

High Expectations of the Achieving Life

It seems as if we are expected to “BE” so much today, are we not?

But sometimes in the very act of becoming, we simply forget to just “Be”. We allow so many influences, from family and friends, to society-at-large, to set the tone for our living. We become, then, filled with an angst that stems from so many voices crying out to us, seeming in our own heads. It is the call of expectations of all in our lives who demand that we are “more”, whatever that is.

More than what? More than who? And more importantly, WHY?

The past beacons us, our “so-called” failures beseech us, our ego compares us and we sink deeper into the abyss, often falling on the weight of fears of a future that we can not support or even imagine.

Why are you anxious? What are the signs and symptoms we should be dealing with here? And, the real question; Who are you in the process?

As a Life Coach, this is the area that seems to be the most pressing for most i encounter. Anxiety, worry, angst, depression…they are all tied into a precarious knot that can doom many and even lead few to consider even taking their own lives.

But there is always a core that the anxiety covers and that is the journey we take to discover the beauty of living in the Present Moment, for here is where all truth lives. This is the Now Moment that we find a way up and out and into a new way of living.

But the ultimate truth is always our own journey that must be discovered. To truly rid yourself of the anxiety in any situation, or just in your daily living, you must do some basic self-reflection steps to have the insight to move forward. Be it with a Life Coach, or through meditation, or just taking yourself fishing…whatever it takes to gain some clarity, it needs to be done.

My father had a peculiar saying that he would spout when Alzheimer’s had taken its grip on him and that was, “Hey, did you stop and smell the roses?” Seemingly out of nowhere, he would interject the saying into conversations. Now my father would occasionally say that growing up, usually as a glib saying, but the simple fact is that there is an ultimate truth here for life. It is a quote that is thrown about so much that we do sometimes forget its significance.

A famous golfer, Ben Hogan, said it beautifully when he said, “As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.”

3 Ways to Begin the Transition Away from Anxiety

Anxiety is a far reaching subject, to be sure, but as it was in the theatre, to get ready for the production of any theatrical production, there are things that have to happen before we even get to rehearsals. We have to consider a lot of factors before even choosing the show and consider all of the elements that go into the production.

The three ways we begin the process is similar then to getting ready for a show; separation, reflection and connection.

When preparing for a show, the separation usually comes from a director getting with the board of directors to choose a vision for a production asking such questions such as, do we do a comedy or is a musical good now?

So when it comes to setting the stage for getting to the heart of your anxiety, you must be willing to prepare.

Way 1: Separation

The goal is to separate ourselves in an atmosphere free from distractions; yes that means your precious smart phone, tablet or laptop. Silence is golden here. Take time for yourself to free yourself from the rush and crush of life for a bit.

Way 2: Reflection.

This is the step that may be the most heartfelt, or should be. This is you identifying the root core and being completely honest with who and where you are in this current moment. Putting all angst aside, you are indeed present in this moment. So in this Now Moment, the worry that brought you to this point has nothing to do with this moment, so drop it. You are here, be here completely Now. Do not allow the future that your ego is painting for you to exist. Make your own rules, which leads us to the third step.

Way 3: Connection or Connectivity.

Such as is preparation to start the theatrical production, these are the components that you have identified in your reflection stage that will move you away from angst; the concepts, people, places and things that you need to begin the process of looking towards the light that is your life. This is the process of the understanding that there is always a way forward.

In the end, it is a solitary journey that opens itself up to the resources the Universe provides for those who are willing to allow for a brighter future. Anxiety is not a way to live in this Present Moment and has no place here. Let’s begin the process together for while it is indeed a solitary journey, you are never alone.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

3 Ways to Stop Being Affected by Other’s Words of Worry Towards You

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Worry kills the spirit of the one it inhabits and infects those around them at the same time.

Why does this happen that a soul on a beautiful journey of love allows such an egoic, unhealthy and, very often, irrational look a future that does not yet exist into their very existence. Why has worry been given such a place of respect in our world. Worry is even joked about as a redeeming trait in many movies.

But there is the insidiousness of it, is it not? The idea that it is indeed fodder for ridicule and yet we allow it to still infect our lives baffles me. It as if we are saying it is not so good for someone else to worry, but, its OK for me because somehow, i have in under control.

But with this worry-bound life comes the eradication of Now Moments. Of course, that is the point of worry. In the wake of worry there are no Now Moments, only moments that are somehow out there that must be going to happen in some way and somehow the worry will make those future Now Moments easier to live.

Pretty bizarre thinking when you really analyze it.

The Worry of Others Infects Your Journey

I could go on for days here and have written posts about it before, but the most troubling aspect of worry is the way we allow others to impact our journey with their worrisome attitude. Really, when someone else worries about you in some situation and projects that worry on you, it is nothing but their ego rising to control you.

Let me give you an example of a client who recently took a tumble off of a ladder and broke his back. Now this man has an excellent attitude and takes a very youthful approach to age in general. Well, after he recuperated, he came and saw me and was having some issues with the thoughts of others that he was allowing to impact him.

Essentially, others were telling him that he should not go up on the ladder again. I asked him if he desired to, if he enjoyed getting up on the ladder doing things. He said that he did, that it was not a chore. So we established that it was not something he dreaded but that he felt able and loved being active.

I then asked if others were responsible for his happiness; could they determine the course of his life journey with their worry now moments any way.

He again said no.

I then told him that others were projecting their fear on to him because, more than likely, that is how they would have handled their fear. I even spoke to their wanting to control him by telling him that he was not able to overcome an accident that would more than likely never happen again..

After we finished, he looked back at me as he left and said, “Thank you. I am so tired of others deciding for me my joy in any moment.” I told him that it was none of his business what others thought of his actions and, quite frankly, if he wanted to skydive, it was his business.

3 Ways to Stop Being Affected by Others Words

You see, we have a way of inserting ourselves into the lives of others, often time in the very name of love as “concern” (worry) for them. But really what is going on, is our ego is impacted by them and we are always, if ego-driven, looking to protect ourselves by maintaining that relationship.

Way 1: Always Look at the Concern of Others in its True Nature

I am not asking you to be cold hearted here, but you must begin the journey of living for yourself.

If you are constantly allowing the words and concerns wrapped in worry from others to affect you, can you ever have a truthful journey on your own?

In a way, it is like when we lose a loved one. We mourn, but it is always about the way we are affected. If it is someone very close, we are affected as to the time that we no longer will spend with that person in our lives. Not that it is good or bad, it just it is what it is.

But if we grieve past the normal stages of grief that have been studied from author, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when she discusses the Five Stages of Grief, then we must look at the hold the ego has on the very act of living.

Way 2: Don’t Allow Others Words of Worry to Become Your Existence

If you base your life on what others think of your actions and allow their words and even the very looks they give you to be an indicator of a course of action for your life, then you have allowed someone else to set a course of direction for you.

To be quite honest, you might be shocked just how little others are actually thinking about you.

I am always amazed at the amount of ego that is present when someone is so invested in others thoughts about their actions. Often it is someone who is very self-conscious and, on the outside, seems very non-egoic. But it is usually just the opposite. The ego has such a hold on them that they base every action on the ideas, words and presumed thoughts of others.

One of my favorite quotes i use for my clients is one from Dr. Seuss where he says, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Way 3: Worry From Others is Often Judgement of Your Journey. Don’t Judge, Just Live

It is your journey. Things are only Bad or Good in the context of the moment, but it is always your journey. No one can worry you better, angry, happy or any other emotion that others desire to afflict you with. Only you can determine the beauty of any Now Moment.

Feel this Present Moment, for it is the only one you have.

Be your own creation and do not allow others to infect their egoic natures on you, for they are on their own journey as well. If you truly can let people say what they must to you and simply say, “Thank you” and then say “that is your journey to think as much and it really is none of my business what you think of mine but I appreciate you for who you are.”

This will always stop the conversation for their really is nowhere else for them to go from there. The key here is to mean it with a sincere heart for you do recognize that their journey is what it is as is yours.

In the end, it really does come down to the fact that what others think of you is, indeed, none of your business…ever!

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

Being Mindful in Your Mission; 3 Ways to Dismiss Worry

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There is nothing that can invade the mindfulness of a true Present Moment thinker such as worry.

It is that egoic nature that can take the tranquility of the present Now Moment and give the ego complete and total charge of all that surrounds your Mission.

Worry, that ever-present reality, it seems, for most as they travel from Now Moment to Now Moment.

But why is that?

In a study i read recently, it was stated that a mere 8% of things people worried about actually manifested as reality. I would add that of that 8%, probably most things were so desired, worried about, that they were going to happen no matter what.

So what does that tell us?

It tells us that we are so desperate to desire some unforeseen future that we will manifest it even to the detriment of our very existence.

It tells us that the ego will go to extreme lengths to keep a hold on you, because worry is such as life itself. You forget about the actuality of that which might happen for the understanding that it might happen.

Essentially, most are in such a common place of worry that when one thing happens that they have indeed worried about, it becomes 100%. It happened just as you thought it would and now the ego can use it to bolster its claim on you as the defender of your safety.

One Bad Apple Spoils the Whole Bunch

In the world of theatre, it is as i have seen. An actor has an overall great performance and one person out of a hundred tells them that they didn’t like their performance.

One person! Guess what happens?

That’s correct my young Jedi, they obsess about the one comment, not taking into context at all why that one person didn’t like it, as if it matters. But i have seen a single bad comment take an actor and make them doubt themselves because they worry about another comment to the point that their performance suffers. So the very thing they worry about does indeed manifest.

Worry, really then, is all about the ego. The funny thing is that we have all done it, have we not? Because worry brings forth doubt in ourselves and our situation, we then define ourselves by the very worry we are in any moment we decide to commit ourselves to it. Even more bizarre is our capacity to see others commit themselves to worry and tell them not to.

But since the ego is really at the heart of worry, how can we make sense of it all? Worry is a natural part of life, is it not? I mean, our very existence is given images of worry in every facet of living by our news media alone.

The media feeds on worry and 90% of commercials are worry about some future event happening in your life if you don’t use their product. I have even seen a pill you can take in case you might have heartburn in the future. I am not kidding.

What is the number one cause of heart troubles in the USA alone? Stress. What is stress usually caused by? Worry about some future outcome.

I had a coaching client who recently came to a session in tears. Her daughter was in the midst of a divorce and she was “worried” about the grandchildren and the long-term affect on them.

As i probed deeper, as that must always be done with worry, it came out that it her daughter’s divorce was somehow a reflection on her. Her parenting, her life in general.

Her ego had so encased her in worry and how it was somehow an attack on her very core, that some perceived outcome with her grandchildren was keeping now keeping her in a state of worry about some unknown future.

You see how clever worry is used by the ego? Ultimately, most worry is somehow an attack on YOU and must be dealt with. Just the absurdity of it all makes most laugh but it is an ever-present danger within us all if we are not vigilant in keeping worry at bay.

Living in the Present Moment is freedom from worry but takes a conscious effort to rid yourself of the egoic nature that inhabits the very core of worry.

3 Ways to Begin the Process Dismissing Worry in Your Mission

 

Way 1: When Worry is Presented as an Option, Play it Out to its End.

What do i mean by that?

Be an actor and write the script. Take the object of worry and make a play out of it, which is what worry is, by the way.

The ego makes a whole play out that you actually believe. This time, however, you write it in your head with whatever far-fetched conclusion that could happen.

Make a game of it.

There is an old saying that you “illustrate absurdity by being absurd” and this is what is the intent. When you see the ridiculousness of all that must happen for the worry to become manifest, it really is quite amusing.

Way 2: Be Ever-Present Within this Now Moment

Decide that you are going to be ever-present in this Now Moment and that worry will not determine a future that does not exist. Just the very act of making a solid commitment will alert you when worry rears its ugly head.

Way 3: Acknowledge that the Ego Exists But Relegate it to the Mailroom of “You, Inc.”

Now, that might seem a bit strange, but if you treat the ego as it should be, as nothing more than someone from the mailroom, instead of the CEO of the company known as YOU, then you will go far in abating worry.

The ego will tell you all kinds of things to supposedly be in your best interest, but what the ego is trying to do is to be the one who makes all the decisions for you. The sad part is that most allow the ego to be in charge.

Take back the night, here. The ego HATES Now Moment living and by keeping you in a constant state of worry about the future gives it full control. Be better than that. Be ever-present in the Now.

Worry is the beast that will rear its ugly head in your life and you must be aware, but it is a beast that can be eradicated.

As far as worry goes, former Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli was quoted as saying, “Worry (the ego) – a God, invisible but omnipotent. It steals the bloom from the cheek and lightness from the pulse; it takes away the appetite, and turns the hair gray.”

Be better than the worry you allow into your life.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

The Lower Consciousness of Doubt and Worry Within Abundance – 3 Ways to Look Forward

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Living in abundance is truly living in a state of mind that you are indeed blessed souls that are living as the Universe has so designed you. Living in the way of abundance means that you truly divest yourself from certain though patterns that impeded your progress towards the very journey of life within abundance.

Worry and Doubt are two lower consciousness aspects of our beings that keep us from living a life of truth in abundance and must be dealt with or else we shall never truly embrace our abundant selves.

But while most understand the core of worry and doubt and how they can become so ingrained within us, it is the consciousness factor that seems to bind and hold them there. Worry and doubt are so ingrained that they are, in a way, seen as almost positive aspects of who we are.

Worry and doubt seem to be a way of life and it has been said of those who do not seem to display those traits, that they are almost super-human or have become enlightened.

Isn’t that the point?

We all seek, or should be seeking, that state of enlightenment that truly takes us away from that place within us where worry and doubt are a way of life. We should be seeking a higher consciousness.

3 Ways to Begin the Transformation Away From Worry and Doubt

The fact that so many seem to know that someone who possesses the freedom from worry and doubt are of a higher consciousness, seems to indicate that we are self-aware enough to understand the states of lower and upper consciousness to begin with and that worry and doubt do indeed inhabit that lower aspect of our nature.

Way 1: Understand the Nature of Worry and Doubt as it Relates to Consciousness

I have written post after post about the very nature of worry and how it can take you a very dark place in the soul, but i desire that you understand the nature of doubt and worry from a standpoint of a consciousnesses aspect.

In the book Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior, there’s a hierarchy of levels of human consciousness that are simply designated by the emotions that are indicated as words alone. Each step is a higher level of consciousness beginning with the lower level of shame and then, guilt and continuing onward to apathy, grief, fear (worry), desire, anger, pride, courage, neutrality, willingness, acceptance, reason, love, joy, peace, and finally, enlightenment.

Courage is the tipping point, so to speak, as from there your levels of consciousness become of a more enlightened state.

Worry and doubt are woven within the words shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger and pride and while they are often times encouraged, they do not advance us into a higher level of consciousness in any way. The more you know how they hold you back the better of a chance you have of advancing into a higher state of consciousness.

Way 2: Worry and Doubt Are Merely Indicators of a Larger Condition

Now that you understand the levels of consciousness and that worry and doubt are within the lower levels that keep you in a place that most choose not to be, it is time to understand the very nature of what worry and doubt point to.

You see, there is a component here called the ego that has its ever-increasing tentacles into all aspects of your life. Worry and doubt, collectively, or individually, are the egos way to keep you in a constant state of lower-level thinking. The ego knows that as long as you are there, you must depend on it to control your existence, for you see, the higher levels need not the ego or its influence.

The best way is to always ask the questions as to what worry and doubt are pointing to. There is a condition within that is at the heart of worry and doubt and if you break the conditions down to manageable pieces or thoughts, you can begin to eradicate the need for worry and doubt.

The key here is to be honest and don’t allow worry and doubt to be the end-all-to-beat-all emotions for if you get lost in the emotions alone, then the conditions get obscured.

Deal with the conditions and leave the worry and doubt aside. You can only do what you can do, so do it and move on.

Way 3: Just Decide Against Worry and Doubt

At this core, this sounds very pie-in-the-sky in that we have been conditioned to be creatures that must worry and doubt. We are to become these cynical creatures that just expect the worse and it usually happens.

However we are not designed this way. If you make a decision that worry and doubt really have no place in your existence, you then become like the story of the monk in the river.

A monk had lost his footing in a stream and was caught in the current. Instead of struggling, he simply allowed himself to be carried with no struggle. As he was coming to a peaceful place within the stream, two farmers happen to see him and, fearing he was dead, gently began to approach him.

They were startled as he popped from the water and he began to make his way to the bank smiling as he passed them. He turned to the two farmers as he climbed to the bank of the stream and said, “It is not about the way you travel, but in the struggle you release to get to your journeys end.”

Worry and doubt are those struggles that must be released to allow your journey to unfold into a higher level of consciousness. Decide not to allow them and the journey begins.

In life, there are choices we must make and to allow the ego to control you in the form of worry and doubt is to deny the Universal Stream within us all.

You are a better traveler than that.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

The Suckiness of Fear: 3 Ways to Abate Fear Within You

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OK, i get it…Suckiness is not really a word, but it should be, right?

There is really nothing else i can say that coveys my disdain for the very aspect of fear within our lives. We are taught it. It is held up as a teacher, as a guide to give us the right way to live.

Blah, blah, blah…

We fear everything, it seems, and most of the time the ego has so got a hold on us that we cannot truly live our lives in the joy that is intended as the cool creatures that we are.

Why is that?

There is a whole industry in the self-improvement arena that focuses on ‘facing your fears’. I’m all for that, but the depth of that is far deeper in that there is a truth to be told that instigates the fear itself.

Why does it exist and why have you allowed it to so control you very existence.

I have heard people tell me that they fear death. How do they know? What is it about death that seems to cause people to change the way they live their lives?

It is like when your parents told you to watch out for traffic when you were little because a car could kill you. Well, true, and it is healthy to teach awareness, but, at some point, as far as i know, we all don’t get out alive. It is not that i am telling you to step out into traffic, but to fear something that may or may not happen to the point that it governs your life is truly absurd.

The larger point here is that fear is usually a very unhealthy aspect of the egoic-mind trying to protect its puny existence.

A recent study that was done over a twenty-year time period stated that of the fears that people allowed themselves to imagine, (things that might happen in the future) that of the 100% that were imagined, a mere 8% actually happened. And of the 8%, anywhere from 3% to 5% were so self-imagined that it seemed that events were actually manifested by the participants to make sure the fears actually happened.

To put it another way; 95% of the things that we fear to happen, never have a chance of happening, and that is being pretty generous with our stats.

3 Ways to Abate Fear Within You

If you have decided that you are going to live in the 5% of life that might happen, then that is your life journey. However, if you are thinking that life can be a bit more incredible if you were to break away from fear within your life journey, then it is time to let go and live with a new awareness of life, of love and of the very understanding that you were created to be more than what your ego has decided for you.

Way 1: Understand the Nature of Fear

In any fear-based situation, there is a nature of fear that is fear itself. Many times it is experience in your life that you have processed in a strange way that has no truth on the situation itself. Many times it is authority figures that have dictated their fears to you, so you live vicariously through them in your fear. For whatever the reason the fear exist, it is not so much as to pretend it doesn’t exist, but ask yourself the nature of its existence within you.

An example would be that many people fear flying, but the truth is that more people are killed while driving in a year than flying. Most people i have met who have been in an accident in a car, make it their mission to get back in again to essentially ‘get over it’.

Fear can be debilitating, in that there is no doubt, but really at the heart of many fears is the lack of egoic control. Fear is usually fear of the unknown, is it not?

Way 2: Ask the “What If – Then What?” Questions of the Fear

This is a fairly simple way to deal with the absurdity of fear in many instances.

Ask ‘What If, Then What?’’

What if the fear were to indeed manifest in the moment you imagined it? What then would happen and try to diffuse the fear by carrying it out as far as your mind will allow. the key here is to be absurd as possible as many times, that is the very nature of the fear to begin with.

There was a movie that starred Nicolas Cage called, “Next” that i enjoyed as this was essentially the premise of the movie. In the movie, Cage was a Las Vegas magician who can see into the future in two minute time sequences. What i thought was intriguing was the way he could take a fear of doing a certain action and see what it’s consequences would have been.

Do the same with your fear, but really use the outcome of your fear as would have already have happened to try to project a scenario of it happening.

Way 3: Ask the Final Questions, “What’s the Worse that Can Happen” and then, “What Then?”

At the end of the scenario for the 2nd Way, ask the question “What is the Worse that can happen?” I mean really get to the heart of the fear. More than likely the most carried out aspect of all fears, from the ego’s standpoint, is in some way death. Somehow the fear will eventually lead you to death.

Oh brother, your ego is telling you that if this happens or that happens, you maybe, just might, more than likely, will die, at some point, maybe, but not quite sure.

Do you see the absurdity of it all?

Again, i do not belittle some fears that may be ingrained and rooted in a real circumstance, but, i assure you, that most can be dealt with and, in most cases, can make you a stronger you when dealt with.

Fear is the Death Star within your soul that keeps you in line.

One of the quotes from Star Wars was when Darth Vader was talking about the Death Star and the abolishing of the Imperial Senate.

A character played by a pretty famous actor, Peter Cushing who played Grand Moff Tarkin, was quoted as saying, “The regional governors now have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this Battle Station.”

Is your Death Star within keeping you from truly living your life? Ask the questions and don’t allow the fear in life to take you from a life of expansion and of beauty in the most uncommon of ways.

It is your journey, live it well.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

The Three Senses of Anger

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Why is it that anger, when you are in the midst of it, seems like a rational expression of living naturally?

Why is it that anger seems to “make sense” but the reality is that when most come across a soul tormented by anger that, it seems anything but sensible.

The funny thing about it is that we are very adept at seeing it in others as it is manifest but, often, we find it difficult to see anger when we look into the mirror.

Here is the most troubling aspect of anger; Within anger, the capacity for love is non-existent. It is as if anger and all of its subsidiaries dam up the flow of love. They are truly opposite ends of the spectrum and cannot co-exist together in any form whatsoever.

The challenge then, is to understand how anger does indeed manifest in various ways and to understand that in any form, anger impedes the flow of love in your life. Oh, it is easy to say that you love someone or some situation, but the beleaguered word of love thrown about often is just that, a word to mask anger and its little henchmen.

Looking up anger in the dictionary and it strikes me immediately when the dictionary defines anger as “a part of speech”, it made me think that it should seldom actually be a part of life. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

The dictionary is pretty succinct it its definition stating that anger is that “state of being mad, annoyed” but what is the most interesting to look at are the synonyms that are listed as influenced by anger.

They are,  acrimony, animosity, annoyance, antagonism, blow up, cat fit, (although, i’ve not seen my cat really have to many fits!) chagrin, choler, conniption, dander, disapprobation, displeasure, distemper, enmity, exasperation, fury, gall, hatred, hissy fit, huff, ill humor, ill temper, impatience, indignation, infuriation, irascibility, ire, irritability, irritation, mad, miff, outrage, passion, peevishness, petulance, pique, rage, rankling, resentment, slow burn, soreness, stew, storm, tantrum, temper, tiff, umbrage, vexation, and violence, just to name a few.

What is even more fascinating about anger when you delve deeper into the word. It seems to have three distinct stages, the three senses of angry.

Sense One: Angry (vs. Unangry)

This is where a lot of words that seem to be brief flashes of anger seem to reside. The stranger that cuts you off, the person that says something that “rubs you the wrong way.” You know, depending on your mood, something affects you one way one day where you might not get too concerned and yet another way on a day when you are looking at life with not such a great outlook.

Sense Two: Stormy (vs. calm)

This is a very difficult stage, it seems, as it is two totally opposite ends of the spectrum. Think of the very word, Stormy, and what are the images that are conjured up in your mind?

As a writer, often the use of the word “Stormy” or “Stormed into” portrays a sense of fear, does it not in a novel? The very word seems to illicit images of loved ones who have “gone off” and the fear that has arisen because of that emotion. But the redeeming part of this sense of the word, if it can be stated that way, is that there seems to be not a continual state that leads into one bad experience after another, for the most part.

Of course, it then leads others to live their lives based on the “blow up” of the particular individual, or the avoidance of it the situation, if at all possible. This sense of the word then becomes toxic for all in the angry persons sphere as they alter their life so as to not cause the blow up.

Sense Three: Unhealthy (vs. Healthy)

This the “Danger, Will Robinson” of the senses of the word anger, in that it is the one that often leads to death to the person of anger and, many times, to the ones they are associated with. The unhealthy anger is often masked in depression and is the anger that strikes at times that most have no way of seeing.

Often, when coaching a client, i see anger played out in ways that almost seems as a positive as a career enhancer, but seldom is it sustainable.

Anger is really like that douse of charcoal fluid you put on a grill. A burst of a toxin that stokes the flame but burns off quickly. Yes, it does what is intended, gives the charcoal that needed burst of energy that is needed to cook the burgers, it intensifies the heat, but like anger, the coals eventually burn away and leave nothing but a smoldering and grey looking substance that is, at its core, unhealthy to even touch or breathe in.

Such are the senses of anger and in the next series of posts, we will look at ways to deal with each sense of anger and why it is never a positive way of living life.

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Let me know your thoughts below, get on the newsletter list HERE, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching directyourownlife@gmail.com

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