3 Ways to Begin the Process of Taking Back Your Power


It takes a certain amount of guts to truly live in the Now Moment with full awareness of the possibilities that surround you.

It takes an awareness of the essence of who you truly are in the Universal Way and it takes the understanding that, if you are in no way even close to that realization, then you need to get there, for the truth shall set you free as has been said.

Look, i understand as life sometimes seems to be anything but yours to live. Maybe you have responsibilities of family and your pursuit of a career. Maybe you are struggling with some type of reliance on some type of release that seems to take you over when you least expect it.

May be you have just become such a victim to life that it seems only natural to just live in this way. I mean, it is normal, right?

Is it?

Yes, we live in a world where we are interconnected and in this age of Social Media, it seems that everyone has an opinion about everything; good and maybe, not so nice. It seems that we are all so willing to give out all of our power to just stay ahead of the game, which many call life, that, in the process, we lose a bit of ourselves just to ‘make nice’.

3 Ways to Begin the Process of Taking Back Your Power

Life is funny with its twist and turns, as one moment you seem to be on top of the world emotionally, and the next, you crash down due to some circumstance that you did not foresee.

And therein lies the challenge; to take you from the place that you have given all of your power away to the circumstances of life to bringing you the awareness that life is a beautiful place that you exist in seamlessly as a destined soul.

So how do you begin the process?

Way 1: Understand that Life Does Nothing To You

You are here and like a George Bailey situation from “It’s A Wonderful Life” if you were not around life would indeed unfold differently, so begin to understand that you are indeed here for a purpose.

Life does nothing to you, it is not out to get you. You are to, in a sense, make life come to you in a way that makes sense to who you are, where your power is and how you direct your power.

Yes, you have a power and you are to direct it but know that life owes you nothing. No governmental entity owes you anything, no person owes you anything. You are here for a reason, so start to grasp it and live it as you were designed.

Way 2: Become Your Truth

Why is it that so many seem to almost desire the release of their personal power to the circumstances and people in their lives? Is it because it is easier at the end of the day to be the victim of life and of others influences in their lives?

I believe it so.

I was working with a client the other day who was bemoaning her very existence within the town she lived in. She said she was miserable because she had no direction, no money and no seeming future.

I simply asked her that if money were no object, what would she do?

She then brightened up with the possibilities that would be opened to her and then we moved to her present circumstances. By the end of the session, she had a new direction of simply improving her present conditions within her house that would give her a sense of direction.

It was never about the money, really. It was about her giving all of her power away to her circumstances, to her husband, to her lack of a direction. It was all about her not living her truth.

It is easy to be a victim and not to be your truth for then you always have someone to blame.

That is not living. That is not Directing Your Own Life.

Way 3: Understand That This Now Moment is the Only Moment That Matters

One of the biggest challenges in life is to always be looking for the future in some way. Trust me, this is a concept that goes against all that we are taught by parents and institutions of learning in that everything is future-based on some future success. Even many of our religious institutions have succumbed to the idea that some future reward is all that matters and that everything is there waiting for you.

But the real truth is Opening Night. It is a date on a calendar and something we are aware of, but the show happens in the rehearsal that is happening right now.

Such is life. Yes, it is fantastic to know that you want to be this or that, do this or that, but, it is here where any ‘this or that’ happens. This is the very nature of many of our financial challenges right now; the wanting of it all regardless of the ability to be abundant for it.

It is as of you cast someone for a play and tell them that Opening Night is tomorrow. In no way could they be ready for it, nor could any other aspect of the show.

You see, living in the moment is all about awareness of what can be and the possibilities but it is full immersion into this moment alone. Any other way you live is simply an egoic tendency to try to craft a future that may or may not exist as you planned.

Be present, live your truth and understand that life flows with or without you, but that it has been designed for you to participate in fully and with a passion for it.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.


dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com


The Ego and Victimhood; The 2 Step Process To Release Being A Victim

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There has been a real trend in the USA towards being a victim to the extent that most, it seems, are going to be a victim or, if nothing else, they look for ways in which to be so at some point in time. We train the fear of that very fact into every child from an early age onward.

It is all built upon the concept of “rights” and it seems that “rights” and “victims” are so closely related that we can’t seem to find one without the other in modern society. But what many fail to understand is that at the heart of battling for the “rights” automatically implies a victimhood status. The very irony of fighting for the “rights” of one person or group presupposes an automatic victimization of another or group.

As i could get very technical on the different aspects of victims and who is or not genuinely a victim, i will not. Suffice it to say that the very thing we breed into our children, the culture of fear, as i call it, is a natural step into being a constant victim.

In his treatise on the pathology of victimhood, Rethinking ‘Don’t Blame the Victim’: The Psychology of Victimhood By Ofer Zur, Ph.D, he states,

“From a very young age we are taught not to trust strangers, not to take candy from them or follow them to their cars. Milk cartons and grocery bags carry pictures of missing children who have been abducted. The mass media saturates us with stories of innocent victims who have been raped, robbed, and murdered by people unknown. More and more Americans arm themselves, barricade their homes, and avoid going places for fear of violent crime. The commonly held belief is that the victim and victimizers are strangers to each other, yet it can be argued otherwise.

While the media, our teachers, and the milk cartons tell us the danger is ‘out there,’ in fact, the home and one’s own neighborhood are the places where one is most likely to get hurt. Murder statistics shed further light on the relationship between victimizers and victims. It shows that at least 88% of murder victims in the U.S. had an ongoing active relationship with their murderers. The relationship ranged from intimate or close friends (28%), to relatives (24%), and acquaintances and paramours (36%). Only 12% of the cases involved complete strangers (Jain, 1990; Wolfgang & Ferracuti, 1967). The F.B.I. reports that 1.5 million children are abducted each year. The agency also claims that most of these children (80-90%) are abducted by a parent in a custody dispute and not by strangers (Gelles & Straus, 1988).”

As i have coached many who have been caught up in the victimization of our culture, i sense that really, we have become fodder for the egoic tendencies that i believe are at the heart of being a victim of, well, everything.

As the ego does what the ego does best, it keeps itself front and center as it seeks to “protect” you at any cost, you become “a ‘fraidy cat”, as little kids say to one another, when faced with a “put your tongue on a frozen flag pole” situation in life. The ego raises its ugly head to make sure you are not seen as such and in the process seeks to make you a victim of people, places, circumstances and, life, in general, so as not to have to have you be in the Present Moment of living victoriously.

Here is the crux of egoic thinking; Victims like their victimhood as it keeps them forever tied to a future that has no hope and a past that is filled with instances that are reasons to expect more of the same.

You have heard it from those ego-locked souls in perpetual victim status and maybe even participated in the “stinkin thinkin” exercises yourself with statements such as:

“Ever notice as soon as you get in the Express Line at the grocery store the line slows down?”

“When I was growing up my mother was very distant and since then I have had a hard time relating to women.”

“I’d like to have more money, but I have so many financial problems I will never get out of debt.”

“I’d like to open a business of my own, but my wife thinks it is too risky, so I guess I had better stay at this secure and boring job I dislike going to every day.”

What do these statements have in common? The very nature of the person who is making the statement. Each statement seems to reflect the same type of individual; a person with low self-worth and a soul who has a predisposition towards negative expectations.

Essentially, these people are holding on to their victimhood. They live at the Victim Level of Awareness. It is almost as if the ego is using victimhood as a way to keep them in their unfortunate past with the stories of the problems of their life.

Here is the truth about ego and being a victim. While they are commiserate companions, the very nature of living in the Present Moment with a peace of knowing that life is a glorious journey escapes them.

The real challenge for most stuck in the egoic nature of victimhood is that you tell your story so well to everyone around you that you end up following your own script. Your ego keeps you in an endless cycle of being that perpetual victim.

The 2 Step Process to Begin to Release the Ego From the Desire for Victimhood

Step 1: Understand that no matter what has happened, you’ve made it to this moment, have you not?

You are here, Present in this moment. You have survived every past Now Moment. Evidently, no matter how hard the ego has given you a fear of a future that it must be involved in, no matter what the cost, you are here.

So, release the past. Understand that the Universe is a glorious place and that your journey is as it is supposed to be. Don’t label things as ‘bad’ or ‘good’ but see them as experiences for growth.

I am reminded of a quote from Oscar Wilde who said,

“Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”

The very nature of this statement should make you smile and give you pause to reflect of the journey of Now Moments and know that none of us are victims of the past, but only reflections. We can look at ourselves and then move on, for reflections do not hold us but allow us to see ourselves as we are Now.

Step 2. Embrace this Present Moment alone, for it is all you have.

Here is where i lose many in the discussion as we have been taught that there is a future that MUST be planned and calculated to the second. However, there is old adage that says, “If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans.”

Present Moment thinkers are usually called, “head in the clouds” or  “pie in the sky” thinkers, or whatever else the ego says of those who are not under its dominion. But please show me one ounce of evidence that there is a future. Yes, we plan an existence with a hopeful eye on tomorrow, as that is the nature of truly living in the Now Moment, but we don’t live there.

It is as when i have directed a theatrical production; we hope there is an Opening Night, but the play happens one rehearsal night at a time. The idea is that we are only as ready for Opening Night that is the reflection of each rehearsal that we were involved in.

Essentially, this is the Now Moment we live in and we are aware of the presence of the future, but this Moment is but the reflection of the past.

Understand that there is much more to be discovered on this journey of love known as life, but you have indeed made it to this Present Moment. Reflect, but know that a reflection only shows you as you are but holds no pull on you otherwise. Your reflection is your past and your present, but you can look and walk away.

It is a choice.

And, live, truly live, in the Now Moments you are given for as an Opening Night approaches, know that while it may be scheduled, that when you arrive there, you are only a reflection of the rehearsals that you participated in.

Participate fully Now as it is the only Moment you have to do so.


Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.


directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking directyourownlife@gmail.com

Plan Your Life – No Don’t…It Will Not Be What You Imagined Anyway

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No, I am not a pessimist.

In fact, I am one of the most positive people ever. I mean, I rock it when it comes to positive thinking, really. But to plan your future to such a degree that you lose the very life in this moment is to set your self up for disappointment after disappointment.

It is just that the whole theme of this blog and my upcoming book to be released this coming year of the same name, “Don’t Plan For The Future, Just Eat Your Cinnamon Biscuits,”  is all about living your best life right now.

But it takes guts to live this way, it really does with the pressures of society, parents and friends to plan your life so that you are “happy.”

So what do I mean?

I will begin an entire series of blog posts that talk about future planning but all from a perspective of living in this moment, or as I like to refer to it, the “Now Moment.”

This will be a subject that many will disagree with but I will tell you the reasoning behind every aspect of my thought process along the way. If you are totally a futurist, then, quite frankly, this will probably won’t be your style.

I must tell you that I have been and will always be a HUGE Science Fiction fan. I love the promise of what a bright future will look like and I am a gadget nut, but gadgets are not what defines a future, and certainly are nothing more than creative insights at any given moment of what a future might be.

Think about it. When you look at old Science Fiction movies, it is often what is trendy at the moment from a vision standpoint and when we see them many years later, we often can’t believe that we even thought it represented a future that we currently live in.

Why is the future you dreamed any different? Is it exactly as you imagined or fretted about? Probably, to a person, the answer is “NO.”

Planning your future is the way we are taught from the time we can learn to walk and talk. Our parents and the ones who assert authority over us tell us that we need to “think about our future,” “get good grades so we can get into a good college,” do this or that because “someone in the family has always done this,” blah, blah, blah and on it goes. (And Lord help anyone who has a passion that doesn’t fit into the “standard” of what parents or whoever thinks we should be doing to “get a good job” or to fit in or get by or whatever.)

All of the things we are told does nothing but make us miss the moment that is often so grand and glorious that to not live in it is the biggest injury we do to ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for following your passion, but to do so means living in the moment and truly discovering who you really are.

Stay with me on this journey. Get signed up for the list and lets take our future back one Now Moment at a time.

In future posts, we will talk about a range of topics centered around planning your future, or not, in this case, but always with the eye on allowing any given moment to be your future.

Confused? Well, there are moments ahead, but they are just that, one Now Moment at a time.


DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. If you desire one-on-one coaching contact DA Southern @ directyourownlife@gmail.com

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