The Complaining Heart: 3 Ways to Change Your Focus

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I sit at my favorite coffee shop and i listen  to the “Old Men’s Club” as they term themselves, as they talk of the ways of the world but, in reality, they sit and complain. They complain about the weather, the government, their ailments and everything in between.

It is amazing how they talk themselves into sickness, into getting riled up and into complaining in general. Why is it that we find the necessity to complain about things? What is it within that desires to be that person that complains about everything?

Do you like that person within?

The ego sets itself up as the complainer-of-merit as the one who desires to maintain a sense of importance in the world when it seeks, with a vengeance, to maintain its superiority by complaining about everything and seemingly has the answers to go along with it.

We have all been there. We complain about something and then offer up not only the solution, but our frustration that it it hasn’t been done as to our specifications. Why of the world would run as we say, then wouldn’t everything be just dandy?

Would it?

Here are some pretty great quotes on the nature of complaining.

Man spends his life in reasoning on the past, in complaining of the present, in fearing future.
Antoine Rivarol

The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign symptom of little souls and inferior intellects.
Lord Jeffrey

Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.  
Og Mandino

and one of my favorites…

Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.  

~ Proverb

You see, essentially, it is about a change of focus. You have to look at the world in a different light instead of seeing it for what it is not.

3 Ways to See the World With More Beauty

I equate complaining with gossiping because the two go hand-in-hand. More often than not, complaining is very personal in nature and it is nothing more than the ego asserting itself as greater than the one who is the object of complaining.

Way 1: Understand that Life is What You Make of It

By complaining about anything; sickness, others conduct, basic dissatisfaction of the world, you bring more of that into your environment. I most recently saw it in the very essence of the Old Men’s Club when one got sick, they all complained about it, and then most of the others aligned the sickness within them as well.

They invited the sickness in as i am one who believe that we do indeed do so. Sickness is an abnormal state and if you really notice, complainers get sick more readily than people who are not prone to be as such.

Just an observation.

Way 2: Understand That All Are On Their Own Journey

It is not that we are not to try to right the world as we know we can, but as the old expression goes, “charity begins at home”. We must understand that we are on our own journey and others are as well. When you complain about others, gossip in a sense, you are just taking time away from the aspects of your journey that need attention.

Let others alone and allow them to take their own journey and, if need be, be a light in the dark for them.

Way 3: See the World From a Different Perspective

Turn off the news. Shut out the noise. Become the you that becomes a better citizen of the world. See the greatness in the possibilities of living at a higher level of consciousness. When others see the bad of situations and others in a negative light, become the one who sees the better nature of the world-at-large.

It is a decision and one that the ego will fight you on but the more you become a better Universal Citizen, the focus of the world will change for you.

It is all about the journey within that stops complaining in its tracks. Become conscious on a higher level and begin here to become a better soul. We can’t change the world unless we first look within.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

What Pulls You Forward? 3 Questions to Ask

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I get a sense that there is an easiness within the souls i have encountered as of late. Maybe it speaks to a larger sense that we are on the edge of something, like a butterfly getting ready to emerge from its cocoon.

I sense this from those i encounter and sense a larger dynamic within the ebb and flow of the world-at-large. I am not saying it is good or bad as i care not to label it, but merely come as an observer of the human condition.

You, too, must be careful to label any uneasiness you may be having within your own life as it may be an indicator of a breakthrough of some kind. Labeling something as good or bad, especially bad, tends to shut off the stream of higher consciousness that seeks to be your destiny.

Most resist, but the more you ask questions about the journey, the more clarification becomes your very existence. It seems to be an oxymoron as we are a society that always wants answers, but the truth is that it is the questions we ask that are the essence of living in beautiful Now Moments.

3 Questions to Ask in Moving Forward

Now when we speak of moving forward, especially in light of living in this Now Moment, there is a danger that we become future-based alone, which is where the ego desires you. But only in the stillness of this Now Moment do your questions become a guide to the connecting Now Moments.

Question 1: What is Your Truth?

At the heart of all moving forward, you must ask if you are being truthful to who you are. Essentially, are you where you want to be within that manifest without in your environment? This may require that you step aside, get out of your own head, and really discover if the core values that you have identified as important to you are truly being lived in a way that makes sense.

Remember that externals do not determine who you are; that your surroundings are only an indicator of you, they are not you. You are not your career, but the essence of your career is who you are.

Make sense?
To begin here with this question, you have to go within and get a sense of your truth.

Question 2: Do You Inspire Others With Whom You Are?

Sometimes the greatest way you can inspire yourself is to be of service to others with whom you are. Do people seek your advice or wisdom? Are you open to be approached?

Sometimes the mere aspect of getting out of your own way and to quit worrying about the future  is to be of service to others. When you are open and allow your spirit to shine in such a way that people can sense that from you, you will be surprised as to how you will begin to see others around you in a more loving light.

Question 3: Are You Able to Define Your Desires and Then Release Them?

Yoda said to a transcendent Obi-Wan in “Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back” about Luke, “”always looking to the future this one is. Never his mind on where he is, what he is doing.”

The point was that the force gave you an insight into the future as an awareness, but it is only when you truly release your constant future-based thinking can you be mindful of living Now Moments alone.

Sometimes to move forward, you have to release the forward nature to become a connected string of beautiful Now Moments. There is a connection to all Now Moments and it is the essence of peace, love and joy that is who you are within.

Once understood and fully lived, life takes on a newness and your truth is ever-present and any uneasiness melts away.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

Killing Happiness With The External: 3 Ways to Look Within

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I was coaching a client the other day who was telling me the boredom that had beset her and that there was “nothing to do” that brought her joy.

Even a casual follower of this blog knows where i will go with that, but in case you are of the mindset that the external; the vacations, the special occasions, the parties, etc, etc, will bring you some sort of peace within your life, you probably need to re-evaluate your thinking.

As i told my client, there is nothing “out there” that can ever bring you a joyful countenance if you  first are not living in some kind of place where love, joy and peace are at least a small reality.

There can never be an event, an occasion or even another person, that can bring you to a place of joy in your life if you first don’t come to grips with the essence of love within first.

The Goal Line is Constantly Being Moved

Maybe it is the idea that we are always in the pursuit of happiness and that it lies in the obtaining. But isn’t the goal line always seemingly being moved on you? Or maybe it is more like the Charlie Brown character who expects different results every time he goes to kick the football as Lucy is holding it.

3 Ways to Look Within for Happiness

That is the fleeting expression of happiness that is always an external pursuit. The truth is that we are happiness, love, peace and joy, first, and then the truth of that happiness will then manifest outside of ourselves.

Way 1: Find Your Happy Place

Understand that within us all is that place that we are our own truth. Maybe it has become obscured by life, by the opinions of others, by your expectations of what exactly happiness is supposed to be.

Whatever the reason, you must understand that there is a truth that is your joy that may be as simple as understanding that your very nature is love, first. There is a place that you go to, whether you know it or not, that gives you a sense of peace. It is not the place so much as who you are within that place. That is your happy place.

Way 2: Know That Who You Are in All Situations is the Joy You Bring

When a situation that is supposed to bring you a happiness within comes to you, understand it is you that brings any sense of joy to that place to begin with.

A situation, a place or a romance is not the happiness but simply an extension of the peace you bring into it. If you go to a party and everyone is standing around with scowling looks on their faces, was it the party that was bad?

One might say so, but have you ever been in a place where there is one soul that is so dynamic that they change the atmosphere of the room when they enter?

You are that one who can bring joy to a place where there may be none, but you have to believe it first. If it is an act, it will eventually fade away. It must be genuine.

Way 3: Live Your Joy When No One is Looking

This plays into Way 2 in that there must be a genuine expression of that joy found within for this to all make sense. Many would say that this is a process.

Yes and no, but i am more of the mindset that it is a decision that is strictly internal. There are no conditions that must be in place for you to understand that it is your birthright to be joy, to be love and to be peace.

No one must be in your life, no amount of money must be within your reach, you are not at the whims of others and their opinions of you in order to begin this process. It is simply an understanding that you are already that soul of love, peace and joy and you must embrace the essence of that within so as to live it without.

Sometimes it as simple as a decision. Let the process begin there.  In the end, it is a solitary journey that you must understand exists. Your journey then involves others on their solitary journey as well and joy becomes a manifesting destiny.

Live yours well.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

Do You Settle For Less? 3 Ways to Begin to Expect Better

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Several years ago there was a rather crude movie that i found disturbingly funny. One, that is was from the mind of Mike Judge of Beavis and Butt-Head fame, but also he penned one of my favorites, Office Space.

The movie was called, “Idiocracy” and the premise was that the lead actor, played by Luke Wilson, was Private Joe Bauers, the definition of “average American”. His character is selected by the Pentagon to be the guinea pig for a top-secret hibernation program. Forgotten, he awakes 500 years in the future. He discovers a society so incredibly dumbed-down that he’s easily the most intelligent person alive.

What makes this movie even more prescient is that we seem to be in the midst of that very same thing now.

Now, this is not a rant about the current state of affairs within our country or in the world. No, this is all about individual power and the directing of that power to become a better you and a better person of the Universe. It is all about being that one soul that makes a difference.

At the heart of that thought is the idea that we settle for less sometimes within ourselves. We settle for less, so we get less. We then begin the harrowing process of not only lamenting that we are less than we know we should be but, along the way, we begin to make the excuses for settling for less within our lives.

But the only one we are truly trying to convince is ourselves.

To Be or Not to Be, That is the Question

Trust me, i have been there and, probably, most have. It is that still small voice that finally rouses you up to face it. That is the proverbial “fork in the road” moment, i suppose, where we decide to be better for ourselves or, we allow our ego to convince us that we should be like in the movie, “Idiocracy” and just settle for a lesser vision of greatness for ourselves.

But it is a slippery slope and for every time we decided on less than greatness for ourselves, we become a bit more accustomed to not being the greatness that the Universe has designed for us all.

3 Ways to Begin to Expect Better For Ourselves

 

Way 1: To Thine Own Self Be True

There is a danger here to want to frame this argument in a materialistic sense as if somehow having financial abundance and nice things is the way we look at greatness.

Know this, any kind of abundance is merely an extension of your greatness and is a part of the picture, not the complete painting.

You have to know yourself and the qualities of your greatness that you desire. Most may not be able to be expressed as a single word, but more of a feeling, an expression of our character as a way that we are when no one is looking.

Understand yourself and the defining qualities that make you want to continue your quest towards enlightenment and begin the process of not settling for anything than less in your life.

Way 2: You Are Not at the Mercy of the World

The world does not define you or your role within it. Often, people allow the world to become their definition for their lives. They settle for what is supposedly “Normal” but that is like playing beach volleyball. The ball is always changing speeds and the sand is always shifting.

Being caught in the trap of being like everyone else is living the world’s existence for your soul. We are snowflakes. We are all different and bring different gifts and abilities to the table. It is our uniqueness and the ability to be as we are that makes our greatness shine.

Don’t settle for the world’s vision, or your family or friends idea of your greatness. It is yours and yours alone to be. Don’t settle for less.

Way 3: Stop and Listen

Sometimes we get so lost in the technology and social aspects of living in the modern society that we don’t realize that we have within ourselves the ability to connect to Source power that is always calling us to a greater version of ourselves in every Now Moment.

It is as if we have become afraid of the silence of our own thoughts and you can bet that the ego has no interest on you becoming connected to Source in any way as it is then no longer needed.

It is indeed, that still small voice that seeks to be a constant companion to you that desires that you allow yourself not to settle for anything but your personal best in any given moment.

Again, it is your definition of greatness alone, not the worlds, that matters. But it is one that you will know intrinsically as you begin to develop the rapport with your inner guidance system that is the connection to Source and it is found in the silence of the soul.

Stop, listen and live in the beauty of this Now Moment and don’t settle for less for here lies the essence of living your greatness.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

Action vs Inaction: 3 Ways To Be Inspired

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Some days i feel so uninspired, until i don’t! Does that make sense?

Let me give it to you another way.

The very act of being inspired to take any action is not so much a compulsion in which to do something, but a desire to be a person of action that comes from a place of grace within. The very act of being a person that comes from a place of power within means that there has been a release to a power greater than myself.

Then inaction becomes the opposite of grace. Desperation is really the key of inaction and when you are desperately “trying” to do something, you are actually paralyzed with the inaction that you presently feel within that situation.

It is as if inaction begets a force to become action that most often is rooted in desperation.

I know that feeling all too well as a writer who is constantly carving out creative blocks to create my masterpiece. When i get that desperate feeling to create, i start feeling stress and tension in my body. My mind begins to scramble for options and solutions to the situation and I feel fear and struggle and confusion often increases as to the way in which to create.

The Ego Seeks to Dominate You

So, then i become inactive and, if i am not fully aware, that state could lead into doubt and worry. But as a Now Moment thinker, i am way ahead of the ego’s attempt to label me as a failure or a slacker, or lazy or whatever else the ego has up its sleeve to maintain its control.

To be quite honest, the ego is essentially the process of edging God out (ego) of your consciousness so as to make you reliant on it instead of being connected to the Universal Source that knows the perfection that is right for you.

3 Ways To Be Inspired

To know the difference between inspired action and that of desperation is to know when you are in that state of mind immediately.

Way 1: Understand Desperation Within You and the Conditions That Cause It

Understand that desperation is rooted in fear and is driven by the mind/ego in an effort to create a desired change. Desperation, then, is the ego’s attempt to control, manage, or avoid something that is perceived as bad and is anticipated to be an experience of suffering.

Action, then, taken in desperation, creates resistance and results in suffering and, usually, is a feeling or set of emotions that the ego then uses to define you.

Being self-aware means that you are aware when the conditions arise that bring you to this point and you are now able to begin the process of turning your focus.

Way 2: Become Aware of the Now Moment Alone

When this desperation feeling starts to become your existence, become acutely aware of the Now Moment alone. Focus on being ever present and understand the very nature of Inspired Action.

You see, Inspired Action solely comes from within and you will know it by the way that it creates an awakening within you. You will feel intuitive nudges, subtle repetitive thoughts, sensations and a deep sense of knowing and trust in the Universal Stream. Things that feel Divinely guided come as a sense of peace in your heart, even if the action is uncomfortable.

Way 3: Release, Let Go and Flow

Now that you are operating from that place of awareness, you must stop and release your resistance to the inaction and come from a place of Inspired Action. You must then Let Go of the emotions that the ego is trying to pin on you and simply not allow to be defined by them.

From here, you begin the process of flowing into a new way of living life and that is from a place of confidence and trust in being inspired from a Universal Design for your life. It is from here that the heart of Inspired Action begins to be released within.

Let life happen naturally and without struggle for this is where you find your truth.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

3 Ways We Can Seek To Separate Ourselves From Anxiety

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There are so many ways that anxiety seems to rear its ugly head, especially within a society that treasures achievement such as ours.

While there is nothing wrong with achieving as that is the Universal Way, (actually more expansion of who we are than achievement, per se.) the very nature of achievement sometimes seems to go against the act of living a victorious life.

One might call those strong words but i am not here to tread lightly as i have no desire to coddle anyone when it comes to living a life of excellence.

High Expectations of the Achieving Life

It seems as if we are expected to “BE” so much today, are we not?

But sometimes in the very act of becoming, we simply forget to just “Be”. We allow so many influences, from family and friends, to society-at-large, to set the tone for our living. We become, then, filled with an angst that stems from so many voices crying out to us, seeming in our own heads. It is the call of expectations of all in our lives who demand that we are “more”, whatever that is.

More than what? More than who? And more importantly, WHY?

The past beacons us, our “so-called” failures beseech us, our ego compares us and we sink deeper into the abyss, often falling on the weight of fears of a future that we can not support or even imagine.

Why are you anxious? What are the signs and symptoms we should be dealing with here? And, the real question; Who are you in the process?

As a Life Coach, this is the area that seems to be the most pressing for most i encounter. Anxiety, worry, angst, depression…they are all tied into a precarious knot that can doom many and even lead few to consider even taking their own lives.

But there is always a core that the anxiety covers and that is the journey we take to discover the beauty of living in the Present Moment, for here is where all truth lives. This is the Now Moment that we find a way up and out and into a new way of living.

But the ultimate truth is always our own journey that must be discovered. To truly rid yourself of the anxiety in any situation, or just in your daily living, you must do some basic self-reflection steps to have the insight to move forward. Be it with a Life Coach, or through meditation, or just taking yourself fishing…whatever it takes to gain some clarity, it needs to be done.

My father had a peculiar saying that he would spout when Alzheimer’s had taken its grip on him and that was, “Hey, did you stop and smell the roses?” Seemingly out of nowhere, he would interject the saying into conversations. Now my father would occasionally say that growing up, usually as a glib saying, but the simple fact is that there is an ultimate truth here for life. It is a quote that is thrown about so much that we do sometimes forget its significance.

A famous golfer, Ben Hogan, said it beautifully when he said, “As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.”

3 Ways to Begin the Transition Away from Anxiety

Anxiety is a far reaching subject, to be sure, but as it was in the theatre, to get ready for the production of any theatrical production, there are things that have to happen before we even get to rehearsals. We have to consider a lot of factors before even choosing the show and consider all of the elements that go into the production.

The three ways we begin the process is similar then to getting ready for a show; separation, reflection and connection.

When preparing for a show, the separation usually comes from a director getting with the board of directors to choose a vision for a production asking such questions such as, do we do a comedy or is a musical good now?

So when it comes to setting the stage for getting to the heart of your anxiety, you must be willing to prepare.

Way 1: Separation

The goal is to separate ourselves in an atmosphere free from distractions; yes that means your precious smart phone, tablet or laptop. Silence is golden here. Take time for yourself to free yourself from the rush and crush of life for a bit.

Way 2: Reflection.

This is the step that may be the most heartfelt, or should be. This is you identifying the root core and being completely honest with who and where you are in this current moment. Putting all angst aside, you are indeed present in this moment. So in this Now Moment, the worry that brought you to this point has nothing to do with this moment, so drop it. You are here, be here completely Now. Do not allow the future that your ego is painting for you to exist. Make your own rules, which leads us to the third step.

Way 3: Connection or Connectivity.

Such as is preparation to start the theatrical production, these are the components that you have identified in your reflection stage that will move you away from angst; the concepts, people, places and things that you need to begin the process of looking towards the light that is your life. This is the process of the understanding that there is always a way forward.

In the end, it is a solitary journey that opens itself up to the resources the Universe provides for those who are willing to allow for a brighter future. Anxiety is not a way to live in this Present Moment and has no place here. Let’s begin the process together for while it is indeed a solitary journey, you are never alone.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

3 Ways to Stop Being Affected by Other’s Words of Worry Towards You

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Worry kills the spirit of the one it inhabits and infects those around them at the same time.

Why does this happen that a soul on a beautiful journey of love allows such an egoic, unhealthy and, very often, irrational look a future that does not yet exist into their very existence. Why has worry been given such a place of respect in our world. Worry is even joked about as a redeeming trait in many movies.

But there is the insidiousness of it, is it not? The idea that it is indeed fodder for ridicule and yet we allow it to still infect our lives baffles me. It as if we are saying it is not so good for someone else to worry, but, its OK for me because somehow, i have in under control.

But with this worry-bound life comes the eradication of Now Moments. Of course, that is the point of worry. In the wake of worry there are no Now Moments, only moments that are somehow out there that must be going to happen in some way and somehow the worry will make those future Now Moments easier to live.

Pretty bizarre thinking when you really analyze it.

The Worry of Others Infects Your Journey

I could go on for days here and have written posts about it before, but the most troubling aspect of worry is the way we allow others to impact our journey with their worrisome attitude. Really, when someone else worries about you in some situation and projects that worry on you, it is nothing but their ego rising to control you.

Let me give you an example of a client who recently took a tumble off of a ladder and broke his back. Now this man has an excellent attitude and takes a very youthful approach to age in general. Well, after he recuperated, he came and saw me and was having some issues with the thoughts of others that he was allowing to impact him.

Essentially, others were telling him that he should not go up on the ladder again. I asked him if he desired to, if he enjoyed getting up on the ladder doing things. He said that he did, that it was not a chore. So we established that it was not something he dreaded but that he felt able and loved being active.

I then asked if others were responsible for his happiness; could they determine the course of his life journey with their worry now moments any way.

He again said no.

I then told him that others were projecting their fear on to him because, more than likely, that is how they would have handled their fear. I even spoke to their wanting to control him by telling him that he was not able to overcome an accident that would more than likely never happen again..

After we finished, he looked back at me as he left and said, “Thank you. I am so tired of others deciding for me my joy in any moment.” I told him that it was none of his business what others thought of his actions and, quite frankly, if he wanted to skydive, it was his business.

3 Ways to Stop Being Affected by Others Words

You see, we have a way of inserting ourselves into the lives of others, often time in the very name of love as “concern” (worry) for them. But really what is going on, is our ego is impacted by them and we are always, if ego-driven, looking to protect ourselves by maintaining that relationship.

Way 1: Always Look at the Concern of Others in its True Nature

I am not asking you to be cold hearted here, but you must begin the journey of living for yourself.

If you are constantly allowing the words and concerns wrapped in worry from others to affect you, can you ever have a truthful journey on your own?

In a way, it is like when we lose a loved one. We mourn, but it is always about the way we are affected. If it is someone very close, we are affected as to the time that we no longer will spend with that person in our lives. Not that it is good or bad, it just it is what it is.

But if we grieve past the normal stages of grief that have been studied from author, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when she discusses the Five Stages of Grief, then we must look at the hold the ego has on the very act of living.

Way 2: Don’t Allow Others Words of Worry to Become Your Existence

If you base your life on what others think of your actions and allow their words and even the very looks they give you to be an indicator of a course of action for your life, then you have allowed someone else to set a course of direction for you.

To be quite honest, you might be shocked just how little others are actually thinking about you.

I am always amazed at the amount of ego that is present when someone is so invested in others thoughts about their actions. Often it is someone who is very self-conscious and, on the outside, seems very non-egoic. But it is usually just the opposite. The ego has such a hold on them that they base every action on the ideas, words and presumed thoughts of others.

One of my favorite quotes i use for my clients is one from Dr. Seuss where he says, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Way 3: Worry From Others is Often Judgement of Your Journey. Don’t Judge, Just Live

It is your journey. Things are only Bad or Good in the context of the moment, but it is always your journey. No one can worry you better, angry, happy or any other emotion that others desire to afflict you with. Only you can determine the beauty of any Now Moment.

Feel this Present Moment, for it is the only one you have.

Be your own creation and do not allow others to infect their egoic natures on you, for they are on their own journey as well. If you truly can let people say what they must to you and simply say, “Thank you” and then say “that is your journey to think as much and it really is none of my business what you think of mine but I appreciate you for who you are.”

This will always stop the conversation for their really is nowhere else for them to go from there. The key here is to mean it with a sincere heart for you do recognize that their journey is what it is as is yours.

In the end, it really does come down to the fact that what others think of you is, indeed, none of your business…ever!

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

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