3 Ways To Begin With A Great Attitude

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When a Director sits down with his theatrical production staff and they set out to begin the process of producing the next show to be done (usually the plays are chosen in advance, a season at a time, but the process is the same), the very first thing they look at is the attitude of the theatre-going public that is their audience.

The question to ask essentially is “What is it that they will desire to see?”

As in anything, it is a focused intensity to really know what your audience will pay to see. You see, when doing a community theatre production, you must put in a season of shows that have name recognition and are intriguing enough to get the casual play-goer a desire to see what it is you are offering. Yes, in a season, you may have one show that tends to be more edgy because the rest of the season can support it. But the season must be geared towards a complete experience that caters to your audience.

From there, they look to the general “attitude” of each individual show itself. Is it a musical, a drama, a comedy? What are the characters like and what kinds of attitude are they looking to from those who audition?

As a Director, you always have a concept of the part, not of who should be playing the part so much, as every actor brings a different attitude to the role, but the general overall attitude of the role. I have cast people who were not as good of singers in a musical, for example, but brought a tremendous chemistry, an overall attitude, to the role. This could make all the difference in the way a play is perceived.

It is is same as you begin to look at an opportunity or challenge that you face. As stated previously, it is the questions you ask at the beginning that help you frame the task ahead, such as is life.

The key here is the attitude you bring to the questions, as well as the answers, and it is crucial that you approach opportunities and challenges with a superb attitude.

Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude

There is an old maxim that goes, “Your Attitude determines your Altitude” and it goes without saying that if you don’t bring a great attitude into the challenge/opportunity, then there is not much chance that you will succeed at the task.

Why? Because if you are not fully invested with an incredible passion for the answers your questions pose, then why bother in the first place?

I am speaking from experience here. I’ve learned the hard way that by not being honest with yourself and by not living in this Now Moment by asking great questions and having an attitude that accompanies the answers that you know the universe will give you, then there is an expectation that will never be fulfilled.

Inevitably, there will be failure, which leads to a myriad of domino-like attitudes about yourself that doom most Now Moment living.

3 Ways to Adopt A Dynamic Attitude

Way 1: Find the parts of the challenge/opportunity that create a passion in you.

Yes, even with challenges there are elements within the challenge that do indeed inspire you. It may be nothing more than the person that is involved with you, but whatever that dynamic is, find that part and seize it. That is the aspect of any challenge or opportunity that will give you a laser-like focus until the end

Way 2: After aligning your passion point, now frame it as a pursuit.

Let me explain. I have developed within myself a disdain for the word….work. I no longer look towards work but, instead, look to the word, Pursuit. Reason being is that within the word pursuit is the definition, “the act of striving” and one dictionary has attached to it, zeal. So no longer are you working at something. Instead, have a “zeal” for it.

Find that part that drives you and pursue it

Way 3: After zoning in on your zeal, “audition” the people and other aspects needed to get you to opening night with style.

Remember, it is all about the attitude and not always is the most obvious choice the right one for you. Look at the attitude of whoever you bring on and will they bring that same attitude to the part you give them. Consequently, will you be able to derive a sense of attitude from other elements of the challenge/opportunity. Is that attitude suitable to you?

Again, the most obvious choice is not always the one that brings you a great attitude. It is all about creating an attitude of gratitude for the zeal of the challenge/opportunity at hand.

Create a great attitude and the results will be manifest from the universal realm. It is a universal law.

Let me know your thoughts and share with your friends. The greater the conversation, the better we move forward in this Now Moment.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

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3 Ways to Stop Being Affected by Other’s Words of Worry Towards You

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Worry kills the spirit of the one it inhabits and infects those around them at the same time.

Why does this happen that a soul on a beautiful journey of love allows such an egoic, unhealthy and, very often, irrational look a future that does not yet exist into their very existence. Why has worry been given such a place of respect in our world. Worry is even joked about as a redeeming trait in many movies.

But there is the insidiousness of it, is it not? The idea that it is indeed fodder for ridicule and yet we allow it to still infect our lives baffles me. It as if we are saying it is not so good for someone else to worry, but, its OK for me because somehow, i have in under control.

But with this worry-bound life comes the eradication of Now Moments. Of course, that is the point of worry. In the wake of worry there are no Now Moments, only moments that are somehow out there that must be going to happen in some way and somehow the worry will make those future Now Moments easier to live.

Pretty bizarre thinking when you really analyze it.

The Worry of Others Infects Your Journey

I could go on for days here and have written posts about it before, but the most troubling aspect of worry is the way we allow others to impact our journey with their worrisome attitude. Really, when someone else worries about you in some situation and projects that worry on you, it is nothing but their ego rising to control you.

Let me give you an example of a client who recently took a tumble off of a ladder and broke his back. Now this man has an excellent attitude and takes a very youthful approach to age in general. Well, after he recuperated, he came and saw me and was having some issues with the thoughts of others that he was allowing to impact him.

Essentially, others were telling him that he should not go up on the ladder again. I asked him if he desired to, if he enjoyed getting up on the ladder doing things. He said that he did, that it was not a chore. So we established that it was not something he dreaded but that he felt able and loved being active.

I then asked if others were responsible for his happiness; could they determine the course of his life journey with their worry now moments any way.

He again said no.

I then told him that others were projecting their fear on to him because, more than likely, that is how they would have handled their fear. I even spoke to their wanting to control him by telling him that he was not able to overcome an accident that would more than likely never happen again..

After we finished, he looked back at me as he left and said, “Thank you. I am so tired of others deciding for me my joy in any moment.” I told him that it was none of his business what others thought of his actions and, quite frankly, if he wanted to skydive, it was his business.

3 Ways to Stop Being Affected by Others Words

You see, we have a way of inserting ourselves into the lives of others, often time in the very name of love as “concern” (worry) for them. But really what is going on, is our ego is impacted by them and we are always, if ego-driven, looking to protect ourselves by maintaining that relationship.

Way 1: Always Look at the Concern of Others in its True Nature

I am not asking you to be cold hearted here, but you must begin the journey of living for yourself.

If you are constantly allowing the words and concerns wrapped in worry from others to affect you, can you ever have a truthful journey on your own?

In a way, it is like when we lose a loved one. We mourn, but it is always about the way we are affected. If it is someone very close, we are affected as to the time that we no longer will spend with that person in our lives. Not that it is good or bad, it just it is what it is.

But if we grieve past the normal stages of grief that have been studied from author, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when she discusses the Five Stages of Grief, then we must look at the hold the ego has on the very act of living.

Way 2: Don’t Allow Others Words of Worry to Become Your Existence

If you base your life on what others think of your actions and allow their words and even the very looks they give you to be an indicator of a course of action for your life, then you have allowed someone else to set a course of direction for you.

To be quite honest, you might be shocked just how little others are actually thinking about you.

I am always amazed at the amount of ego that is present when someone is so invested in others thoughts about their actions. Often it is someone who is very self-conscious and, on the outside, seems very non-egoic. But it is usually just the opposite. The ego has such a hold on them that they base every action on the ideas, words and presumed thoughts of others.

One of my favorite quotes i use for my clients is one from Dr. Seuss where he says, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Way 3: Worry From Others is Often Judgement of Your Journey. Don’t Judge, Just Live

It is your journey. Things are only Bad or Good in the context of the moment, but it is always your journey. No one can worry you better, angry, happy or any other emotion that others desire to afflict you with. Only you can determine the beauty of any Now Moment.

Feel this Present Moment, for it is the only one you have.

Be your own creation and do not allow others to infect their egoic natures on you, for they are on their own journey as well. If you truly can let people say what they must to you and simply say, “Thank you” and then say “that is your journey to think as much and it really is none of my business what you think of mine but I appreciate you for who you are.”

This will always stop the conversation for their really is nowhere else for them to go from there. The key here is to mean it with a sincere heart for you do recognize that their journey is what it is as is yours.

In the end, it really does come down to the fact that what others think of you is, indeed, none of your business…ever!

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

Character Traits: 3 Ways to Understand the Process

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Such a funny word; Character, and we use it to denote so many things in our English language. Just one definition alone has over 14 different incarnations of the word anywhere from traits about yourself to someone playing a part on a play or movie.

Just some of the definitions of the word Character are; The mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual, The distinctive nature of something, The quality of being individual, typically in an interesting or unusual way, Strength and originality in a person’s nature, A person’s good reputation, A person in a novel, play, or movie, A part played by someone in a theatrical production, An interesting or amusing individual, and the list goes on and on.

With such a wide range and ways that it has become saturated by its various uses, it is a wonder we can seem to make sense of the word at all. The very fact that it has become a catch-all for all kinds of qualities, make it not as effective a tool when we desire to instill a character quality within ourselves or someone we are mentoring.

However, to talk of instilling a character trait within oneself, there is really a purification that must take place within the soul.

The other day i saw a commercial for Velveeta Cheesy Skillets and it had a video of this guy, a blacksmith, who talked with a deep voice as he sang the praises of “Liquid Gold”. In fact, outside of being a blacksmith, which he said he loved, his second love was the Liquid Gold of Velveeta. Pretty sure he wasn’t a paid spokesperson, either. I mean, come on, that would damage the very image of blacksmiths across the world, right?

What stuck me in the commercial, was the fact that this blacksmith was forging a horseshoe and it was hot on both ends of the edges of the horseshoe, but apparently in the middle, where he was holding it, was as cool as a cucumber because he was holding it with his bare hand.

But it got me to thinking about the process in general of forging something in that process. So, i asked Mr.Google about it and was lead to the process for purifying gold.

The refining process, the process that removes impurities that remain after the smelting process, makes the gold 99.9% pure. So when something is 24 Karat gold, it is essentially as pure of a gold as you can get. Subsequently, some thing that is 18 Karat is about 75% pure. Something 12 Karat is about 50% and of course something 0 Karats is, well, a carrot, I suppose.

The point here is that character traits have to be forged within us and really, when we desire a trait for ourselves or for someone who we are mentoring or parenting, the only thing we can hope to do is to instill the qualities. The forging process still must occur.

When i was a director for a community theatre, we used an old church for our theatre. Now we had a cool space but right in the middle of the theatre was this very large column that was a support. Essentially, lighting the stage was a challenge sometime with the obstacle in the way. Nothing was more evident to something i took for granted than when i had an intern from the local college theatre department come in with their ‘fancy book-learnin’ ways” on how to light a stage.

Forging Traits of Character

Oh, it was impressive with all of these fancy patterns on how the beams should cross and all to light the stage. But life is oftentimes different than that of the little perfection taught in the safety and security of a classroom. To see the little intern get a look of horror when i showed her the realities of the situation of the pole and how sometimes, like most things in life, you have to retain the concept of the intent, but you have to go all MacGyver on the situation to make it work, was priceless.

3 Ways To Begin The Forging Process

Way 1: Understand First the Intent of the Trait You Desire

People often times think that by merely talking about some character trait or deciding that you desire it, will make it so. More times than not, the opposite is the case. It is like watching The Biggest Loser on TV while eating a bag of chips. There is just a disconnect.

You really have to get down to why you desire it to begin with. If someone has told you that you need this or that character trait, the ego essentially tells you to tell them to ‘buzz off’. It is something that has to be forged within you.

Way 2: Awareness of Intent

Life, and living in the Now Moments of life, is all about the awareness of it all. There is a axiom that i tell my coaching clients; i tell them that the beauty of life is in the details of the details, meaning that they are to be hyper-aware in a given period of time to train their senses to be aware.

To forge a trait, you have to be hyper-aware of it in a given situation, either by observing it in others or in yourself. Really notice the intent of the trait and what are the processes that manifest it. Understand the emotions that accompany it as well and really understand the overall quality of a trait you are trying to forge.

Way 3: It Has to be For You

There is no character trait that can be instilled that your ego or anyone outside of you insist that you must retain for yourself. That is tricky in that if we are in a mentoring situation, we truly desire traits for the ones we wish to impact for their betterment. But if we allow the ego to become front and center, the character trait will never become forged.

The key here is to live it and become a model while teaching the intent behind the character trait. There in lies the truth in becoming, not only to others, but to ourselves.

Understand it, be Aware and internalize the character traits that define you, for in the end, you are the only one who must answer for your journey.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking directyourownlife@gmail.com

Upgrade Your Game Characters; 3 Tips to Upgrade Your Life

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If you have every played any video game whatsoever, be it a simple flash game or a full-blown immersing experience with a game console, then you know that the object of any video game is to move your character through the gaming platform on some type of mission.

Be it a quest or a shoot-em-up, the experience is basically designed around your characters gaining of points in whatever form that takes, and then Upgrading your guns, shielding, skills or whatever to become better as the levels become more difficult.

The point here is to be constantly Upgrading yourself to prepare yourself for the upcoming battles within the game.

Such is life.

The very experiences of life are nothing more than the constant Upgrading of your ever-increasing skill set that advances you to the next level of play. That is the nature of schooling, (well it was the original intent) but to prepare you by advancing your skill sets in tiny little increments so that when you are ‘all grown up’, you are ready for the world.

As a director, it was my pursuit to guide the actors from one skill set of not being confident in their abilities to even read the dialog convincingly, to another, being able to stand on stage and perform so as to move the audience in the way the play was intended.

Such is life.

You see, we are always to be expanding ourselves in such a way so as to Upgrade ourselves to the next level. It is what we were designed to do by our Creator, it is the very nature of the universe itself – expansion.

This is the danger of our modern-day thinking that everything should be provided for us. This is the tenants of Communism and Socialism in that, the premise is that if everything is provided, then we are just naturally happy.

The opposite is true.

Loss Aversion

As a Strategic Life Coach, i have see transformations in people who, by and large, are seeking just that. Most who desire coaching understand that they need to indeed Upgrade themselves but they are usually, by nature, people of character already that demand that of themselves. They have just stalled on a level and need to see other possibilities so as to be able to Upgrade.

I seldom coach anyone who has decided that the government or that some ‘job’ should give them security in some respect. People who are looking for constant security are the very ones who usually don’t seem to have it in any way in their lives.

It is called Loss Aversion, or simply put, an attitude of lack. The very nature of always looking for security is the admitting to yourself that you are lacking and all you are really doing is trying not to lose anything.

So, Loss Aversion refers to people’s tendency to strongly prefer avoiding losses than to acquiring gains. Some studies suggest that losses are twice as powerful, psychologically, as gains. This then leads to Risk Aversion when people evaluate a possible gain; since people prefer avoiding losses to making gains.

Essentially, it comes from a lack attitude. You prefer to not Upgrade.

If you were playing some game that was a shoot-em-up, essentially, you would just hide behind some wall so you would not take the chance on getting shot. You would never gains points to later upgrade your shielding, your guns, or gain more lives in the game. You prefer to be lacking as it serves you, for whatever reason.

3 Tips to Set the Course to Upgrade Your Life

 

Tip 1: Understand that Your Were Designed to Always Be Upgrading

If, for whatever reason, you have become stagnant in your pursuit from a career standpoint, or in a personal endeavor, then you need to stop and look to see if you, not any other person, place or thing, have decided to ‘hide behind a wall’. Really ask yourself if you are in someway practicing Loss Aversion and why?

You see, it is a simple thing to blame someone else, or some condition, for your inability to desire to Upgrade. It is just easier sometimes to wait it out behind the wall of life and hope you don’t have to bother with it. But we were not designed that way.

When your green you are growing, when you are ripe, you are rotten.

Tip 2: Be Willing to Change the Dynamics of the Game

I look at this as a reboot of sorts. When a computer virus infects your computer and things seem to begin to act badly within the system, you have to essentially give the old system an enema to flush out the virus.

Heck, Scotty and Geordi La Forge were always doing it on the Enterprise in Star Trek. Rebooting the warp core because some alien was trying to muck up the works.

Sometimes we have to understand if some alien is trying to do the same to us. However, most of the time, the alien is us. Our thinking has become so pointed to some type of Loss Aversion that we stop Upgrading.

Oh, it is not that you aren’t capable, we all are. It is that you have decided to just not do so. You have to be willing to say, ‘I need an Upgrade and I am willing to shake up things so it happens.’

What ever you have to do, this Now Moment is the time it happens. If you can’t decide to move from behind that wall Now, then don’t bother. The decision is always Now.

Tip 3: Commit to the Upgrade

This is the step where so many fall back behind the wall on.

They know they need to Upgrade. They have identified the challenge that is preventing them from Upgrading, but they have decided not to commit to it. They peek out from behind the wall, take a couple of shots, then go back behind the wall and tell themselves that, this too, isn’t working. They then presume it is everything else that is causing them to not advance, even the wall itself.

But the wall doesn’t care if you advance or not. It is just there, as are most of you perceived challenges. They are just there.

It is as if you have to almost take a “Butch and Sundance” approach to it all.

At the end of the classic movie, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, the two were pinned down by the Mexican army, on their last rounds of ammunition. The last scene showed them just charging out from behind the walls of the building and then the scene froze as we heard the sounds of gunfire erupt.

They committed to the upgrade!

So, too, should you. It could just become the most exhilarating and liberating experience of your life.

We are not in this life to become complacent, to not Upgrade, or to become so engrossed in a security mindset that we forget about living. You are a creature of expansion. Live as such.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking directyourownlife@gmail.com

Get Out Of Your Own Way: A 3-Step Process For Truly Living

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We all have done it; Gotten in our own way when it comes to our hopes and dreams of a better tomorrow, right?

Well, therein lies the very tool the ego uses to distract you from your way, the allusion, vision, hope, dream of a better whatever at some ‘future’ date. It is as if the only thing that matters is the future.

It is not surprising as many are led to believe that very thing about life. Author Mark Twain was known to have said, “Plan for the future because that’s where you are going to spend the rest of your life.”

While i admire Mark Twain, i believe him to have spoken with a bent towards the satirical and for the absurdity of life in general. I think no quote more indicates that Mark Twain was a passionate fellow who had a bent towards the Now Moment and the release of fears that hold you back; essentially just getting out of your own way.

To Illustrate my point is this quote from Mark Twain who said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

But the process sounds so easy, doesn’t it? But unfortunately the ego enters into the picture with the constant drone of ‘security’ (or the lack of it) in your head.

We always have to be ‘secure’, right?

Most adult figures in your life preached this very thing to you. People even asses their possible marriages on this very fact; not so much is this someone you can weather all the beautiful challenges that may come your way together, but is this person stable enough for me? Are they secure enough to provide?

The ego fills your head with insecurities; about yourself, about your possible mate; about life in general, all built on this idea that there is this mystical security out there.

We have no one to blame but ourselves, of course, as we have become a culture of ‘entitlement’, at least in the USA. Everyone is entitled to, well, everything. Free this or that. We are all entitled because we deserve it for whatever reason.

But it only feeds into the real challenge; getting out of our own way so we can truly become the Universal Way of Life to ourselves and to those that intersect our bubble that is our life.

The 3-Step Process of Getting Out of Your Own Way

So, in this day and age where we seem to make everything a bit to over-complicated, one would think that a simple 3-step process is a bit too simple. Well, we are all on our own journey. If you decide you want to make it complicated, so be it. But, at the heart of the process are the last three words of the Twain quote; Explore. Dream. Discover.

Step 1: Exploration

Here in this word is the very nature of finding out about yourself for before any journey there is a period of self-discovery, is there not?

Some say that they learn about themselves on the journey, which is rightfully so, but, in truth, the journey must start within first. There is a part that must release the ego and allow yourself to take the journey to begin with. So exploration is always a journey from the heart to begin with. This goes for any new aspects of life that you are exploring. Never allow your ego or the opinions of others to set the parameters for your exploration for it is your journey alone, no matter how many others your bubble touches.

Step 2: Dream

This is simply allowing yourself to think out loud. This is feeling the wind in your hair and knowing that the Universe makes no mistakes, ever.

I often tell clients when they are speaking of some ‘failure’ that has befallen them. “Do you think that God is standing there saying”, “Gee, I never saw that one coming. Who would of thought that Joe would do that. Really, I Never saw that coming.”

No, the short answer. the Universe is the same for all; an abundant, joyful place that gives and expands with every breath we take. Dream on and allow yourself to see the possibilities. History is replete with men and women from all walks of life who have dreamed outside themselves and through whatever challenges that life threw at them and achieved for themselves. In fact, most would tell you that it was in the ‘failures’, or what society had deemed as such, was their greatest learning opportunities.

Step 3: Discover

This is pure release. The idea is that we can allow ourselves to see the beauty in every Present Moment with the ability of Discovery of simple every day aspects of our journey.

But the challenge is that we get caught in ruts and allow life to slip by in such a way so as to become a stagnant search for security in the mundane.

But this is what happens when, as Twain says, you “release the bowlines and sail away from safe harbor.” This is discovery of self and of the beautiful world that we have been given. This is the truth of the statement, “Stop and smell the roses.”

Release yourself to the Present Moment and Discover the beauty within and without for here is where all truth lies waiting for us.

The Simple 3-Step process; Explore. Dream. Discover. It is up to you to first release your insecurities that the ego has set as the stumbling blocks to a beautiful Now Moment.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking directyourownlife@gmail.com

Becoming A Giant Killer: 3 Ways to Begin to Handle Your Insecurities

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Everyone loves a David and Goliath story where the unsuspecting person becomes the hero under what seems to be insurmountable odds. It is even in our own lives that we seek to ‘take on’ the power structures, or the ones that we deem as such, to prove to ourselves, and others that we are capable of living up to our potential.

The challenge here, however, is that who defines the potential that we are to become and, many times, at the heart of our own David and Goliath story lies the insecurities that make us weak at the knees.

There are, essentially, two schools of though usually taken here.

Power through them, your insecurities, as if they are meaningless, you know, act positive even if you don’t feel it, and embrace them and ‘talk things out with them’. Get to the heart of the matter and look to see if there is a place we can deal with them on a logical and compassionate level.

In certain situations, one or both may serve you as you attempt to grow through them but i like to take somewhat of a hybrid approach to insecurities.

Fist, let’s look at the very heart of the word and its meaning. This is one of those words that is actually quite fascinating to look at because of the diversity that we have given it as a ‘catch-all’ of sorts. It seems that the beleaguered word has become a home for all that ails us an i could sped the rest of the little chat here just given you all of the variations and their synonyms.

Suffice it to say, i will give you a few words but know that it seems as if most everything that doesn’t make us stronger can be categorized as, insecurity, or as our insecurities in life. Trust me, it is a broad net that traps you and the best you can do is to Direct Your Power so as to not get caught in its trap.

So, Insecurity has its heart words such as; Anxiety, which is to say your, doubt, hesitancy, indecision, self-doubt, uncertainty, and vacillation about any given situation or about yourself.

Insecurity also has the word, Danger associated with it, which is a hazard, or a troublesome situation. Also, diffidence, which means hesitancy; a lack of confidence, instability, which is typically defined as imbalance and inconstancy, and qualm, which is, of course, nagging doubt.

This is just a few of the words. But what is even more fascinating is that each of these words, plus the several others that are the base of the word, insecurity, are surrounded by dozens of other words that identify and quantify the insecurity experience. In fact, looking at the list and phrases that describe the word Insecurity, i bet there are over two hundred words and phrases that we have come to associate with the word. It is daunting to even imagine tackling the very issue of handling insecurity to begin with, but these are beginning steps. The ego has build Shell after shell all under the umbrella of ‘Insecurity’ to keep you off balance.

3 Ways to Begin to Handle the Giant that is Insecurity in Your Life

We could literally take an associated word to insecurity each day over the next year and still not be done with it, but this is a beginning look at the way to slay this giant.

Way 1: Look At The Source First

What the ego does is to hide so skillfully within the word and its tributaries, that often the source of the insecurity is obscured. So, to begin the process, we take away our insecurity at its heart and look at the reason that these feelings have bubbled to the surface.

What about the Source is giving you these emotions. Strip away the emotions of what you feel for now and just objectively look at the Source of the insecurity-giver. Why does it exist? have you manufactured it to a degree or is it a one-size-fits-all type of challenge.

The key here is to strip away the emotions and look at  the core, the source of the insecurity.

Way 2: Each Emotion is Important Because You Feel it.

In my life coaching business,one of the things that is told to me by many of my women clients is that they detest being told to not ‘feel’ a certain way. Men are particularly reactionary to feelings in that they believe that most should not have them, or, at best, not display them for it could be taken as weakness.

This is where the ego loves to hide and then use as a weapon. There are even defenses in court cases where this happens now days. Feelings, coming out as weapons and the one who uses them is exonerated for doing so.

So, no matter who you are, feelings are an indicator and a guidepost. We feel them and then we don’t allow the ego to use them against us. We Direct Our Own Life in such a way as not being manipulated to allow these feelings to play into the insecurity of our lives. When your Direct Your Power, you are the one who remains in charge and the ego is relegated to the mailroom of the company known as ‘You, Inc.”

Way 3: Key in on the EXACT Word that is Your Insecurity

I have found that when you find the exact word that is at the heart of your insecurity, it goes a long way to allowing you to overcome it. Now this may seem simple, but as i have said the ego loves to layer the insecurity in ways that you become anxious at everything.

There is a word, it is up to you to uncover it. this may require some digging which the ego will try to circumvent, but pursue to the end for in the very pursuit you may find that your insecurity begins to diminish.

Such as in life, may times it is not the destination but the journey that matters most.

Just remember that insecurity is, at its core, a convoluted mess. It is up to you and you alone to slay this giant one step at a time. Live in this Present Moment alone for here is where your redemption waits for you.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

Your Passion in Life: 3 Ways to Position the Personal Towers of Your Tower Defense Game

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Passion is a funny thing in that it is indeed at the heart of your Tower Defense game that is life.

Let me begin by explaining what a Tower Defense game is if you are unaware of it.

As i do various writing, coaching and directing projects there are times that i need a quick diversion at the computer, where i spend a great deal of time. As i am not a die-hard gamer, i do enjoy simple flash-based games that you can do quickly, like Angry Birds. You know those quick diversions that you can do mindlessly but don’t require you enter into a full-on session as if you would sit down to play Modern Warfare.

Simply put, a Tower Defense-based game is a game in which you are protecting a treasure of some kind or advancing on a treasure.

Wikipedia says it as such; “The goal of tower defense games is to try to stop enemies from crossing a map by building towers which shoot at them as they pass. Enemies and towers usually have varied abilities, costs, and ability costs. When an enemy is defeated, the player earns money or points, which are used to buy or upgrade towers, or upgrade the number of money or points that are earned, or even upgrade the rate at which they upgrade.”

Here is the key concept, from my standpoint, that Wikipedia says about the game, “The choice and positioning of the personal towers is the essential strategy of the game.”

It started me thinking about passion and life as all games that we play are but an extension of who we are. What draws me to this type of game is the aspect that we all have a passion within us, something that defines us and as life sends wave after wave of challenges to our attempt to take our passion from us, we must set our own ‘Personal Towers’ to defend against the waves.

Now, as i have played the various games it has often struck me that one misplaced tower can cause my treasure, my passion, to be affected or taken from me. So you see, often it is our own inability that causes us to lose sight of the passion within us. We become callus and, in many ways, the ego tells us that we are invincible and that it matters not where your own personal towers are, that it, the ego, has it all under control.

That is until it doesn’t and then seeks to blame others, society-at-large or whatever is the current popular blame-game that seems to be all the rage; your bad childhood, some political system or the current state of the economy.

These are mere excuses for the lack of attention that we are to put on our Personal Towers to protect our passion in life.

The real question, then, comes from the examination of that which drives you; you fundamental reason that the Universe has you here and the core values that are your Personal Towers.

3 Ways to Develop and Place Your Personal Towers

 

Way 1: First Look at What Defines Who You Are and Why it is Important to You.

This is a strictly you asking you what gives you a reason to get up in the morning. The reason you have been given to be as you are.

Here is the thing. No one can or should define you but you for you see, it is a journey that is a singular one, but impacts all who embrace your sphere of life with you.

I recently had the pleasure to interact with a clients granddaughter and was surprise to hear her talk of the project at her school where she and others her age, the rip old age of fourteen, were told that they had to ‘pick’ a career.

Really?

At this age, most kids have no clue what they want to do, unless it is just a God-given journey that has manifest itself already in very obvious ways.To have to ‘choose’ something when they are so into themselves, generally, is a bastardization of the creative process that the creator has designed for us all.

As the young girl sought to ask my opinion knowing that i had coached her grandmother, she asked if she was bound to be this ‘whatever’ that she was to decide. I thought for a moment, knowing that it could give her some type of vision for her own Personal Tower. I simply told her that a career generally is not decided on, but finds her naturally. Essentially, you don’t choose a career, a career chooses you.

Way 2: Set your Personal Towers Carefully

Your passion is who you are and i am not talking about you being a lawyer or a doctor or a director. Your passion is the true part of you that gives you a greater-than-yourself view of the Universe, for there is no greater view to have.

Your Personal Towers are the core values that surround you and set you up to be the creative being that manifest greatness. It is the way you Direct your Power to be the you that is simply a powerful creator as that is what we all have been designed to be.

Be willing to take stock of your core values and rid yourself of the ones that are no longer working for you. Just because you have always done it that way, doesn’t mean that it is right for you.

Way 3: Upgrade Your Personal Towers

When playing the Tower Defense games, your real power comes from upgrading the Personal Towers in such a way as to get maximum effect on the hordes that are trying to reach your core.

Always taking stock and being willing to adapt and change and increase yourself is the secret to Directing Your Own Life and becoming what was designed just for you by the Universe. Take the opportunity to reach within and ‘upgrade’ your core values to Direct Your Power to become the you that is best for you.

For here is where all truth lays waiting for you to embrace.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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