Killing Happiness With The External: 3 Ways to Look Within

2 Comments

I was coaching a client the other day who was telling me the boredom that had beset her and that there was “nothing to do” that brought her joy.

Even a casual follower of this blog knows where i will go with that, but in case you are of the mindset that the external; the vacations, the special occasions, the parties, etc, etc, will bring you some sort of peace within your life, you probably need to re-evaluate your thinking.

As i told my client, there is nothing “out there” that can ever bring you a joyful countenance if you  first are not living in some kind of place where love, joy and peace are at least a small reality.

There can never be an event, an occasion or even another person, that can bring you to a place of joy in your life if you first don’t come to grips with the essence of love within first.

The Goal Line is Constantly Being Moved

Maybe it is the idea that we are always in the pursuit of happiness and that it lies in the obtaining. But isn’t the goal line always seemingly being moved on you? Or maybe it is more like the Charlie Brown character who expects different results every time he goes to kick the football as Lucy is holding it.

3 Ways to Look Within for Happiness

That is the fleeting expression of happiness that is always an external pursuit. The truth is that we are happiness, love, peace and joy, first, and then the truth of that happiness will then manifest outside of ourselves.

Way 1: Find Your Happy Place

Understand that within us all is that place that we are our own truth. Maybe it has become obscured by life, by the opinions of others, by your expectations of what exactly happiness is supposed to be.

Whatever the reason, you must understand that there is a truth that is your joy that may be as simple as understanding that your very nature is love, first. There is a place that you go to, whether you know it or not, that gives you a sense of peace. It is not the place so much as who you are within that place. That is your happy place.

Way 2: Know That Who You Are in All Situations is the Joy You Bring

When a situation that is supposed to bring you a happiness within comes to you, understand it is you that brings any sense of joy to that place to begin with.

A situation, a place or a romance is not the happiness but simply an extension of the peace you bring into it. If you go to a party and everyone is standing around with scowling looks on their faces, was it the party that was bad?

One might say so, but have you ever been in a place where there is one soul that is so dynamic that they change the atmosphere of the room when they enter?

You are that one who can bring joy to a place where there may be none, but you have to believe it first. If it is an act, it will eventually fade away. It must be genuine.

Way 3: Live Your Joy When No One is Looking

This plays into Way 2 in that there must be a genuine expression of that joy found within for this to all make sense. Many would say that this is a process.

Yes and no, but i am more of the mindset that it is a decision that is strictly internal. There are no conditions that must be in place for you to understand that it is your birthright to be joy, to be love and to be peace.

No one must be in your life, no amount of money must be within your reach, you are not at the whims of others and their opinions of you in order to begin this process. It is simply an understanding that you are already that soul of love, peace and joy and you must embrace the essence of that within so as to live it without.

Sometimes it as simple as a decision. Let the process begin there.  In the end, it is a solitary journey that you must understand exists. Your journey then involves others on their solitary journey as well and joy becomes a manifesting destiny.

Live yours well.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

Advertisements

The Intention to Manifest: 3 Ways to Begin the Process

3 Comments

Manifesting, The Secret, The Law of Attraction.

All words that seemingly dissuade most from even attempting to look at the Universal Law of Manifesting as a way to live life. I mean, it is just too “Out There” for most, right? Just the creative-types and the ones who are in touch with their inner feelings are the ones who do “that kind of stuff”.

Really?

What the basis of goals in general? A plan to fulfill a desire within you that is given to you that expands your horizons in some way. Be it a new car, a relationship or a new career, we plan and set things into motion that, hopefully, put us on our path towards that which we desire.

When things happen that propel us along, some say they get “lucky breaks” and “were in the right place at the right time” and all other fancy way of saying that there was a manifesting principle that was working to propel you along your desired course.

The Universe makes no mistakes and for a true heartfelt desire to become your reality, there  is a truth that cannot be denied; You have indeed manifest your reality.

Gravity and Manifesting are Both Universal Principles

Like gravity, it is a Universal principle and one that when allowed to become your dominant thought process, you can begin the process of pursuing life in the flow of manifesting, not against it.

This is, on the outside, a very simple thought process, but most complicate it to the point that it becomes a complicated and convoluted way of existence that “doesn’t work for me” as most would say.

3 Ways to Begin to Internalize the Manifesting Process Within

Manifesting your reality is the stuff that the higher conscious souls do, but it is available for all who desire it within their existence.

Way 1: Begin Small

Even though you have manifest desires your entire life, it is when someone tells you that you can manifest your reality that the ego pulls you aside and tells you to “be real” and to “stay in the real world” that things begin to not make sense.

For me, it was a nickel. I was at a low point and had been studying and delving into living at a higher consciousness. But it was when a teacher told me to let go and to begin again in a small way. The key was to let it go and let it happen naturally and in an organic way.

I remember thinking about it as i shifted thoughts to it as i drifted off to sleep. A nickel clearly popped into my mind and i almost laughed at the simplicity of it.

You see, it has to make sense and it cannot be something then that you then manufacture in a way that is senseless.

The next morning, being one of the first in my local coffee shop, i went to plug in my computer and there it was. A nickel sitting there. The truth is that this part of the restaurant was swept and mopped every night before closing. This i knew as i knew the night manager and that she insisted on it from her crew.

You understand that it was not the nickel, really, but that it was manifest into my reality. If it can be a nickel in an organic manner, anything is possible. It is only the mind that keeps us tied to a small reality for ourselves.

Way 2: Let it Go

So often when people delve into the teachings of The Law of Attraction, they quickly become disenchanted as it doesn’t happen as they think it should be, usually in the time they think. This is the “It doesn’t work for me” mindset that fills the reality of those who think in the smallness of the egocentric life that most find themselves in.

Like in the story of the nickel, i had to “Let it go” to the point that i said it and released it but that i would know exactly when it was fulfilled into my reality. The Universe knew i needed it immediately and in such a way that it was evident.

It was!

You have to be willing to release it and live in the moment. If you are truly aware, then you will be ever mindful of the actuality of the manifesting as it occurs. It will make sense and your spirit will have a sense of peace and calm.

Way 3: Be Present and Have Faith

I cannot stress enough the Now Moment you are within. If i would have been constantly looking for the nickel, searching in all places, looking in every nook and cranny, then really it was a senseless display of faith and the very act of searching was a display of faithless living.

If you are in harmony with your true nature, the manifesting you will undertake will be in harmony with who you are as a Universal Creature. Living in a faith of expectancy will allow your manifesting to deliver your reality in such a way that others will say you are “lucky”. But you will understand that your manifesting has delivered the reality that you desired for yourself that serves the common good.

Living in the Now Moment and knowing deep within your core that all is happening as you expect it to, and that the Universe makes no mistakes, is the truth in manifesting a beautiful life for yourself.

Now go and manifest the life you desire, for as you do, you shall lift those around you in the process.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

Action vs Inaction: 3 Ways To Be Inspired

Leave a comment

Some days i feel so uninspired, until i don’t! Does that make sense?

Let me give it to you another way.

The very act of being inspired to take any action is not so much a compulsion in which to do something, but a desire to be a person of action that comes from a place of grace within. The very act of being a person that comes from a place of power within means that there has been a release to a power greater than myself.

Then inaction becomes the opposite of grace. Desperation is really the key of inaction and when you are desperately “trying” to do something, you are actually paralyzed with the inaction that you presently feel within that situation.

It is as if inaction begets a force to become action that most often is rooted in desperation.

I know that feeling all too well as a writer who is constantly carving out creative blocks to create my masterpiece. When i get that desperate feeling to create, i start feeling stress and tension in my body. My mind begins to scramble for options and solutions to the situation and I feel fear and struggle and confusion often increases as to the way in which to create.

The Ego Seeks to Dominate You

So, then i become inactive and, if i am not fully aware, that state could lead into doubt and worry. But as a Now Moment thinker, i am way ahead of the ego’s attempt to label me as a failure or a slacker, or lazy or whatever else the ego has up its sleeve to maintain its control.

To be quite honest, the ego is essentially the process of edging God out (ego) of your consciousness so as to make you reliant on it instead of being connected to the Universal Source that knows the perfection that is right for you.

3 Ways To Be Inspired

To know the difference between inspired action and that of desperation is to know when you are in that state of mind immediately.

Way 1: Understand Desperation Within You and the Conditions That Cause It

Understand that desperation is rooted in fear and is driven by the mind/ego in an effort to create a desired change. Desperation, then, is the ego’s attempt to control, manage, or avoid something that is perceived as bad and is anticipated to be an experience of suffering.

Action, then, taken in desperation, creates resistance and results in suffering and, usually, is a feeling or set of emotions that the ego then uses to define you.

Being self-aware means that you are aware when the conditions arise that bring you to this point and you are now able to begin the process of turning your focus.

Way 2: Become Aware of the Now Moment Alone

When this desperation feeling starts to become your existence, become acutely aware of the Now Moment alone. Focus on being ever present and understand the very nature of Inspired Action.

You see, Inspired Action solely comes from within and you will know it by the way that it creates an awakening within you. You will feel intuitive nudges, subtle repetitive thoughts, sensations and a deep sense of knowing and trust in the Universal Stream. Things that feel Divinely guided come as a sense of peace in your heart, even if the action is uncomfortable.

Way 3: Release, Let Go and Flow

Now that you are operating from that place of awareness, you must stop and release your resistance to the inaction and come from a place of Inspired Action. You must then Let Go of the emotions that the ego is trying to pin on you and simply not allow to be defined by them.

From here, you begin the process of flowing into a new way of living life and that is from a place of confidence and trust in being inspired from a Universal Design for your life. It is from here that the heart of Inspired Action begins to be released within.

Let life happen naturally and without struggle for this is where you find your truth.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

We Are Creatures of Habit: 3 Ways to Understand Your Role

Leave a comment

Change, Change, Change… as the old song goes, right? But have you ever fully noticed how we get so upset at the slightest change within our lives? Even if our daily routine is changed but by a bit it somehow is supposed to now affect the entire day.

I was sitting in my local coffee shop one day and a service man came next to me with his tray that had his drink. In the course of setting his breakfast down, his drink was spilled and you had thought that we had just had an international incident occur.

Exasperated, he said to his buddy,”Well, i guess that will set the tone for the day. Great!”

Now, mind you, he spilled not a drop on himself. The restaurant crew was there to clean it and his drink was easily replaced. Nor did any of his other breakfast become saturated by the spilled drink.

Now, my inner coach had to leap to the defense of the rest of the day for this young man and i simply said, “It is only a spilled drink. it has nothing to do with any part of the day ahead. You are better than a drink slipping from your grasp. It has no reflection upon anything that will happen, ever.”

The young man smiled and said, “You are right. I am in the command of daily changes in the service. i guess a drink should not determine my day in any way.”

He got my point. Stuff happens and it is no reflection of any upcoming happening. It is what it is.

Why is it that we think everything should be as the ego says it should always be, that everything is predictable when we know that life is not that way.

Creatures of Habit

One of the reasons we are affected by stuff happening is that we are creatures of habit and we are emotional cauldrons always being stirred and sometimes the pot just overflows at the least bit of stirring.

3 Major Ways We Deal With Change

 

Way 1: Our Personality Filter

This is the way we are put together in many ways. It is what makes us tick, it is how we view the world. We have a dominant way that happens for us and it is a great way to understand ourselves.

Knowing this information can lead us into ways we can adapt our reactive ways in dealing with change, but really, at the core of all personality types is the ability to harness your inner peace so as to not become trapped by the way we are. In a sense, don’t become a victim to your personality type that you perceive yourself as having as it may become a crutch.

Way 2: Our Levels of Awareness

A spilled drink should not become an awareness of a day of one “bad” thing happening after another. Anything that impacts your level of awareness becomes a hindrance to your becoming a true Now Moment thinker.

It is amazing how the simplest of changes in the morning routine that our ego has decided is our reality can manifest in ways that make no sense within the time frame of our day. When you strive to reach a heightened state of consciousness then you are more able to live within the confines of each Now Moment. A spilled drink is simply a spilled drink within that moment alone and has no connection to some other event.

It is never the “spilled drinks” in our lives, but our reaction to them that truly matters.

Way 3: Our Conscious Awareness of the Change

This plays into Way 2 in that the more you are aware, the more you are able to no longer be the reactive, impetuous creature that is affected by an event that takes you away from your norm.

Remember that there is no normal, really, and if there is, why is there?

How do you generally react to change?

On the spectrum of actively seeking change to actively avoiding it, where do you fall?

How do you manage your feelings about change, especially if the change is not one you chose?

Your awareness that life is an ever-evolving place and that if we are not “change” on some level, then we are not really becoming better Universal creatures.

Yes, we like the routine, but we are not vested in it. Look for the opportunity to be change to a world that has become stuck in routine. For it is here that you become better, the world becomes better.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

3 Ways To Begin With A Great Attitude

Leave a comment

When a Director sits down with his theatrical production staff and they set out to begin the process of producing the next show to be done (usually the plays are chosen in advance, a season at a time, but the process is the same), the very first thing they look at is the attitude of the theatre-going public that is their audience.

The question to ask essentially is “What is it that they will desire to see?”

As in anything, it is a focused intensity to really know what your audience will pay to see. You see, when doing a community theatre production, you must put in a season of shows that have name recognition and are intriguing enough to get the casual play-goer a desire to see what it is you are offering. Yes, in a season, you may have one show that tends to be more edgy because the rest of the season can support it. But the season must be geared towards a complete experience that caters to your audience.

From there, they look to the general “attitude” of each individual show itself. Is it a musical, a drama, a comedy? What are the characters like and what kinds of attitude are they looking to from those who audition?

As a Director, you always have a concept of the part, not of who should be playing the part so much, as every actor brings a different attitude to the role, but the general overall attitude of the role. I have cast people who were not as good of singers in a musical, for example, but brought a tremendous chemistry, an overall attitude, to the role. This could make all the difference in the way a play is perceived.

It is is same as you begin to look at an opportunity or challenge that you face. As stated previously, it is the questions you ask at the beginning that help you frame the task ahead, such as is life.

The key here is the attitude you bring to the questions, as well as the answers, and it is crucial that you approach opportunities and challenges with a superb attitude.

Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude

There is an old maxim that goes, “Your Attitude determines your Altitude” and it goes without saying that if you don’t bring a great attitude into the challenge/opportunity, then there is not much chance that you will succeed at the task.

Why? Because if you are not fully invested with an incredible passion for the answers your questions pose, then why bother in the first place?

I am speaking from experience here. I’ve learned the hard way that by not being honest with yourself and by not living in this Now Moment by asking great questions and having an attitude that accompanies the answers that you know the universe will give you, then there is an expectation that will never be fulfilled.

Inevitably, there will be failure, which leads to a myriad of domino-like attitudes about yourself that doom most Now Moment living.

3 Ways to Adopt A Dynamic Attitude

Way 1: Find the parts of the challenge/opportunity that create a passion in you.

Yes, even with challenges there are elements within the challenge that do indeed inspire you. It may be nothing more than the person that is involved with you, but whatever that dynamic is, find that part and seize it. That is the aspect of any challenge or opportunity that will give you a laser-like focus until the end

Way 2: After aligning your passion point, now frame it as a pursuit.

Let me explain. I have developed within myself a disdain for the word….work. I no longer look towards work but, instead, look to the word, Pursuit. Reason being is that within the word pursuit is the definition, “the act of striving” and one dictionary has attached to it, zeal. So no longer are you working at something. Instead, have a “zeal” for it.

Find that part that drives you and pursue it

Way 3: After zoning in on your zeal, “audition” the people and other aspects needed to get you to opening night with style.

Remember, it is all about the attitude and not always is the most obvious choice the right one for you. Look at the attitude of whoever you bring on and will they bring that same attitude to the part you give them. Consequently, will you be able to derive a sense of attitude from other elements of the challenge/opportunity. Is that attitude suitable to you?

Again, the most obvious choice is not always the one that brings you a great attitude. It is all about creating an attitude of gratitude for the zeal of the challenge/opportunity at hand.

Create a great attitude and the results will be manifest from the universal realm. It is a universal law.

Let me know your thoughts and share with your friends. The greater the conversation, the better we move forward in this Now Moment.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

3 Ways We Can Seek To Separate Ourselves From Anxiety

1 Comment

There are so many ways that anxiety seems to rear its ugly head, especially within a society that treasures achievement such as ours.

While there is nothing wrong with achieving as that is the Universal Way, (actually more expansion of who we are than achievement, per se.) the very nature of achievement sometimes seems to go against the act of living a victorious life.

One might call those strong words but i am not here to tread lightly as i have no desire to coddle anyone when it comes to living a life of excellence.

High Expectations of the Achieving Life

It seems as if we are expected to “BE” so much today, are we not?

But sometimes in the very act of becoming, we simply forget to just “Be”. We allow so many influences, from family and friends, to society-at-large, to set the tone for our living. We become, then, filled with an angst that stems from so many voices crying out to us, seeming in our own heads. It is the call of expectations of all in our lives who demand that we are “more”, whatever that is.

More than what? More than who? And more importantly, WHY?

The past beacons us, our “so-called” failures beseech us, our ego compares us and we sink deeper into the abyss, often falling on the weight of fears of a future that we can not support or even imagine.

Why are you anxious? What are the signs and symptoms we should be dealing with here? And, the real question; Who are you in the process?

As a Life Coach, this is the area that seems to be the most pressing for most i encounter. Anxiety, worry, angst, depression…they are all tied into a precarious knot that can doom many and even lead few to consider even taking their own lives.

But there is always a core that the anxiety covers and that is the journey we take to discover the beauty of living in the Present Moment, for here is where all truth lives. This is the Now Moment that we find a way up and out and into a new way of living.

But the ultimate truth is always our own journey that must be discovered. To truly rid yourself of the anxiety in any situation, or just in your daily living, you must do some basic self-reflection steps to have the insight to move forward. Be it with a Life Coach, or through meditation, or just taking yourself fishing…whatever it takes to gain some clarity, it needs to be done.

My father had a peculiar saying that he would spout when Alzheimer’s had taken its grip on him and that was, “Hey, did you stop and smell the roses?” Seemingly out of nowhere, he would interject the saying into conversations. Now my father would occasionally say that growing up, usually as a glib saying, but the simple fact is that there is an ultimate truth here for life. It is a quote that is thrown about so much that we do sometimes forget its significance.

A famous golfer, Ben Hogan, said it beautifully when he said, “As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.”

3 Ways to Begin the Transition Away from Anxiety

Anxiety is a far reaching subject, to be sure, but as it was in the theatre, to get ready for the production of any theatrical production, there are things that have to happen before we even get to rehearsals. We have to consider a lot of factors before even choosing the show and consider all of the elements that go into the production.

The three ways we begin the process is similar then to getting ready for a show; separation, reflection and connection.

When preparing for a show, the separation usually comes from a director getting with the board of directors to choose a vision for a production asking such questions such as, do we do a comedy or is a musical good now?

So when it comes to setting the stage for getting to the heart of your anxiety, you must be willing to prepare.

Way 1: Separation

The goal is to separate ourselves in an atmosphere free from distractions; yes that means your precious smart phone, tablet or laptop. Silence is golden here. Take time for yourself to free yourself from the rush and crush of life for a bit.

Way 2: Reflection.

This is the step that may be the most heartfelt, or should be. This is you identifying the root core and being completely honest with who and where you are in this current moment. Putting all angst aside, you are indeed present in this moment. So in this Now Moment, the worry that brought you to this point has nothing to do with this moment, so drop it. You are here, be here completely Now. Do not allow the future that your ego is painting for you to exist. Make your own rules, which leads us to the third step.

Way 3: Connection or Connectivity.

Such as is preparation to start the theatrical production, these are the components that you have identified in your reflection stage that will move you away from angst; the concepts, people, places and things that you need to begin the process of looking towards the light that is your life. This is the process of the understanding that there is always a way forward.

In the end, it is a solitary journey that opens itself up to the resources the Universe provides for those who are willing to allow for a brighter future. Anxiety is not a way to live in this Present Moment and has no place here. Let’s begin the process together for while it is indeed a solitary journey, you are never alone.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

3 Ways to Stop Being Affected by Other’s Words of Worry Towards You

3 Comments

Worry kills the spirit of the one it inhabits and infects those around them at the same time.

Why does this happen that a soul on a beautiful journey of love allows such an egoic, unhealthy and, very often, irrational look a future that does not yet exist into their very existence. Why has worry been given such a place of respect in our world. Worry is even joked about as a redeeming trait in many movies.

But there is the insidiousness of it, is it not? The idea that it is indeed fodder for ridicule and yet we allow it to still infect our lives baffles me. It as if we are saying it is not so good for someone else to worry, but, its OK for me because somehow, i have in under control.

But with this worry-bound life comes the eradication of Now Moments. Of course, that is the point of worry. In the wake of worry there are no Now Moments, only moments that are somehow out there that must be going to happen in some way and somehow the worry will make those future Now Moments easier to live.

Pretty bizarre thinking when you really analyze it.

The Worry of Others Infects Your Journey

I could go on for days here and have written posts about it before, but the most troubling aspect of worry is the way we allow others to impact our journey with their worrisome attitude. Really, when someone else worries about you in some situation and projects that worry on you, it is nothing but their ego rising to control you.

Let me give you an example of a client who recently took a tumble off of a ladder and broke his back. Now this man has an excellent attitude and takes a very youthful approach to age in general. Well, after he recuperated, he came and saw me and was having some issues with the thoughts of others that he was allowing to impact him.

Essentially, others were telling him that he should not go up on the ladder again. I asked him if he desired to, if he enjoyed getting up on the ladder doing things. He said that he did, that it was not a chore. So we established that it was not something he dreaded but that he felt able and loved being active.

I then asked if others were responsible for his happiness; could they determine the course of his life journey with their worry now moments any way.

He again said no.

I then told him that others were projecting their fear on to him because, more than likely, that is how they would have handled their fear. I even spoke to their wanting to control him by telling him that he was not able to overcome an accident that would more than likely never happen again..

After we finished, he looked back at me as he left and said, “Thank you. I am so tired of others deciding for me my joy in any moment.” I told him that it was none of his business what others thought of his actions and, quite frankly, if he wanted to skydive, it was his business.

3 Ways to Stop Being Affected by Others Words

You see, we have a way of inserting ourselves into the lives of others, often time in the very name of love as “concern” (worry) for them. But really what is going on, is our ego is impacted by them and we are always, if ego-driven, looking to protect ourselves by maintaining that relationship.

Way 1: Always Look at the Concern of Others in its True Nature

I am not asking you to be cold hearted here, but you must begin the journey of living for yourself.

If you are constantly allowing the words and concerns wrapped in worry from others to affect you, can you ever have a truthful journey on your own?

In a way, it is like when we lose a loved one. We mourn, but it is always about the way we are affected. If it is someone very close, we are affected as to the time that we no longer will spend with that person in our lives. Not that it is good or bad, it just it is what it is.

But if we grieve past the normal stages of grief that have been studied from author, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when she discusses the Five Stages of Grief, then we must look at the hold the ego has on the very act of living.

Way 2: Don’t Allow Others Words of Worry to Become Your Existence

If you base your life on what others think of your actions and allow their words and even the very looks they give you to be an indicator of a course of action for your life, then you have allowed someone else to set a course of direction for you.

To be quite honest, you might be shocked just how little others are actually thinking about you.

I am always amazed at the amount of ego that is present when someone is so invested in others thoughts about their actions. Often it is someone who is very self-conscious and, on the outside, seems very non-egoic. But it is usually just the opposite. The ego has such a hold on them that they base every action on the ideas, words and presumed thoughts of others.

One of my favorite quotes i use for my clients is one from Dr. Seuss where he says, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Way 3: Worry From Others is Often Judgement of Your Journey. Don’t Judge, Just Live

It is your journey. Things are only Bad or Good in the context of the moment, but it is always your journey. No one can worry you better, angry, happy or any other emotion that others desire to afflict you with. Only you can determine the beauty of any Now Moment.

Feel this Present Moment, for it is the only one you have.

Be your own creation and do not allow others to infect their egoic natures on you, for they are on their own journey as well. If you truly can let people say what they must to you and simply say, “Thank you” and then say “that is your journey to think as much and it really is none of my business what you think of mine but I appreciate you for who you are.”

This will always stop the conversation for their really is nowhere else for them to go from there. The key here is to mean it with a sincere heart for you do recognize that their journey is what it is as is yours.

In the end, it really does come down to the fact that what others think of you is, indeed, none of your business…ever!

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

*******

dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com

Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: