3 Ways We Can Seek To Separate Ourselves From Anxiety

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There are so many ways that anxiety seems to rear its ugly head, especially within a society that treasures achievement such as ours.

While there is nothing wrong with achieving as that is the Universal Way, (actually more expansion of who we are than achievement, per se.) the very nature of achievement sometimes seems to go against the act of living a victorious life.

One might call those strong words but i am not here to tread lightly as i have no desire to coddle anyone when it comes to living a life of excellence.

High Expectations of the Achieving Life

It seems as if we are expected to “BE” so much today, are we not?

But sometimes in the very act of becoming, we simply forget to just “Be”. We allow so many influences, from family and friends, to society-at-large, to set the tone for our living. We become, then, filled with an angst that stems from so many voices crying out to us, seeming in our own heads. It is the call of expectations of all in our lives who demand that we are “more”, whatever that is.

More than what? More than who? And more importantly, WHY?

The past beacons us, our “so-called” failures beseech us, our ego compares us and we sink deeper into the abyss, often falling on the weight of fears of a future that we can not support or even imagine.

Why are you anxious? What are the signs and symptoms we should be dealing with here? And, the real question; Who are you in the process?

As a Life Coach, this is the area that seems to be the most pressing for most i encounter. Anxiety, worry, angst, depression…they are all tied into a precarious knot that can doom many and even lead few to consider even taking their own lives.

But there is always a core that the anxiety covers and that is the journey we take to discover the beauty of living in the Present Moment, for here is where all truth lives. This is the Now Moment that we find a way up and out and into a new way of living.

But the ultimate truth is always our own journey that must be discovered. To truly rid yourself of the anxiety in any situation, or just in your daily living, you must do some basic self-reflection steps to have the insight to move forward. Be it with a Life Coach, or through meditation, or just taking yourself fishing…whatever it takes to gain some clarity, it needs to be done.

My father had a peculiar saying that he would spout when Alzheimer’s had taken its grip on him and that was, “Hey, did you stop and smell the roses?” Seemingly out of nowhere, he would interject the saying into conversations. Now my father would occasionally say that growing up, usually as a glib saying, but the simple fact is that there is an ultimate truth here for life. It is a quote that is thrown about so much that we do sometimes forget its significance.

A famous golfer, Ben Hogan, said it beautifully when he said, “As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.”

3 Ways to Begin the Transition Away from Anxiety

Anxiety is a far reaching subject, to be sure, but as it was in the theatre, to get ready for the production of any theatrical production, there are things that have to happen before we even get to rehearsals. We have to consider a lot of factors before even choosing the show and consider all of the elements that go into the production.

The three ways we begin the process is similar then to getting ready for a show; separation, reflection and connection.

When preparing for a show, the separation usually comes from a director getting with the board of directors to choose a vision for a production asking such questions such as, do we do a comedy or is a musical good now?

So when it comes to setting the stage for getting to the heart of your anxiety, you must be willing to prepare.

Way 1: Separation

The goal is to separate ourselves in an atmosphere free from distractions; yes that means your precious smart phone, tablet or laptop. Silence is golden here. Take time for yourself to free yourself from the rush and crush of life for a bit.

Way 2: Reflection.

This is the step that may be the most heartfelt, or should be. This is you identifying the root core and being completely honest with who and where you are in this current moment. Putting all angst aside, you are indeed present in this moment. So in this Now Moment, the worry that brought you to this point has nothing to do with this moment, so drop it. You are here, be here completely Now. Do not allow the future that your ego is painting for you to exist. Make your own rules, which leads us to the third step.

Way 3: Connection or Connectivity.

Such as is preparation to start the theatrical production, these are the components that you have identified in your reflection stage that will move you away from angst; the concepts, people, places and things that you need to begin the process of looking towards the light that is your life. This is the process of the understanding that there is always a way forward.

In the end, it is a solitary journey that opens itself up to the resources the Universe provides for those who are willing to allow for a brighter future. Anxiety is not a way to live in this Present Moment and has no place here. Let’s begin the process together for while it is indeed a solitary journey, you are never alone.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.


dasouthern@directyourpower.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ dasouthern@directyourpower.com


It’s Not the Resolutions But the Questions We Ask to Become Better

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 What is it About New Beginnings That the New Year Brings?

As a Now Moment Coach, I am often amazed at the hoopla given to a calendar date as is New Years Day. At the core of it all, I understand the significance of the celebration, but it is all fairly predictable, is it not?

Let me give you the cycle of discussion, such as it is, that we are exposed to during this time and the various stories that are written about that are inspired to feed your egoic nature..

The various “Best” and “Worse” lists in whatever you are interested in. (Either you are cool by being connected with the “Best” or you are made to feel better about yourself because something is worse that you in some way.)

Resolutions – the making and then, breaking, of them. (Again, we are losers for wanting to do something because we are lacking in some way to make them to begin with and then again for failing at our lack mentality when we break the resolutions.)

Weight loss/Health – We are evidently “guilty” of eating too much over the holiday period and are all a bunch of fatties and now we must “get in shape” or, at least, be shamed to think as much. (Here is simply a lack mentality of how you see yourself. Do you need to shape up? Maybe, but on your own terms, not someones dictates on how you should feel about yourself.)

Damn Ego needing to be fed!

But, I make no judgements. As a coach, it is my mission to bridge the gap between the feelings of anxiousness that does indeed accompany this time of the year according to the calendar and the truth of Now Moments that we all must exist in.

First, let me say that there are some things that I do appreciate about this time of the calendar year.

For one, people, by and large, are in better spirits, or, if nothing else, at least open to renewal. Also, great questions are asked to help you focus. It’s just too bad that we don’t engage this way at all times. Well, I mean to change that for you.

What do I mean?

  Well, people get reflective and tend to dwell on successes and failures of the year past (Usually, more on the failures as that is the proclivity of the human experience) and will ask thought-provoking and reflective questions that tend to refocus their efforts into the New Year.

This is good at its core, as it is great to be always evolving into a better you, but the drawbacks are that the thinking is most always future-based on an experience that is based firmly in the past, completely negating the present Now Moment, which is exactly what the ego desires. Keeping you tied up in the past (failures) and hopeful of a better future, keeps joy from being completely present in this Now Moment.

Yes, we are to learn from past experiences, but not to the point that they glorify some future that doesn’t exist as of yet. This the very nature of Now Moments. The past is simply a guide and the future is but an experience of Now Moment Actions. So this is the Moment that matters. Your past does not dictate your future. You dictate your future right NOW.

To Direct Your Own Life means you ask the right questions in each Now Moment. This is the important part of the questioning process; It is not someone else who may have a desire for the path you think you must take, for the goal will always be moving and the future will never be anything more than murky. It must be your journey alone that incorporates those around you. Therein lies the happiness factor; the individual journey taken with joy that lifts those around them in that same wake of joy. It is a universal law.

  Remember, again, it is not so much the state we are in, but the questions we must ask to free us so as to move forward, and, yes, some of that may mean we have to ask tough questions about the reason we are here in this present Now Moment state not to dwell in the past but to see the framework of this moment and adapt and change as needed.

By looking at the process as if you were in a theatrical production, it is essentially the rehearsal process here. We have rehearsed certain scenes to this point and we understand that we are now ready to rehearse another part of the play. We look back at the last scene to understand the context for this next stage of rehearsal. The past, the last scene, was merely a set up for the current piece we are rehearsing. It has no baring to the future but to set it up and work together to make the play all make sense at the end.

That is the framework of the questioning process; to set up the framework for the next scene of your life. Just allow it to flow and appreciate the journey to this point and allow the questions to guide you into the next Now Moment.

In the end, it is a matter of perspective and allowing yourself to flow in that place of peace that you must find to allow yourself the freedom to move forward.

For some reason, beer commercials always seem to have great slogans, but it is not the drinking that propelled me to like this, but the message of finding yourself in that happy place where you are free to create.

The slogan is “Find Your Beach” and it is great for the disgrace that are resolutions in general as well is the comparing of the past “failures” to some future happiness.

Indeed, if you do find your beach and allow an organic way of living to become your new reality, you will have no choice but to embrace this Now Moment alone.

This will be your guiding emotion for the Now Moments that make up your future.


directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching directyourownlife@gmail.com

Worthy, Do you Feel Your Now Moments Are Filled With Worth?

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Being Worthy.

Strange concepts that many fashion in the face of any challenging situation, are they not? Yet, we have all faced these exact emotions of the soul in living our lives; being worthy of anything, deserving anything.

To Be Worthy

Where have we come as a species if we question the ability to function on any level as a person who is supposed to exist? What has happened to us that, for some reason, we have decided that we are not worthy of some thing, some person in our life or some form of abundance?

I am questioned constantly about the very nature of being worthy and really it goes back to a previous post written about the past and fear. For some reason circumstances in the past have deemed you unfit for this Now Moment, as you see it, or, in reality, someone else has seen it as a rule of life for you.

Feeling Inferior

When I hear someone talk this way, it always draws me back to one of my favorite quotes from Eleanor Roosevelt, who said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” In this quote, you find the seeds of riding yourself of the past that seeks to bind you and fill you with self-doubt and unworthiness. Essentially, your ego, which is the bane of all existence as you will come to learn from me, is trying to hold you back from living truly in this Now Moment by making you think you are not truly deserving of it.

Face it, if you are still breathing, you are worthy as deemed by the creator of the universe. Now if that doesn’t make you feel a bit worthy, I am not sure exactly what will.

The Ego Is In Charge Way Too Much

Now with that being said, shame and guilt also play into a feeling of worthiness as well. There will be much discussion on each topics, but suffice it to say this is the Now Moment you have to live and being worthy is always…ALWAYS…an attitude of the heart and soul. You use the past as but the place that holds experience that gives you input into this Now Moment but never shall it be anything more than a guide. Do not allow it to give you any sort of worthiness issues as you are here for a reason.

Remember, the universe makes no mistakes, everything is perfect in its own time and place. No matter what you have done up to this Now Moment that you have deemed (or someone else has deemed) “unworthy” is not a reflection of what you will plant as seeds for the next Now Moments you exist.

Attitude of Gratitude

You are to give this Now Moment its dynamic place in your life as the one that is the place of change, hope and love that you seek to be within. Living in a state of gratitude in this Now Moment will give you a sense of worth to carry you into the next Now Moment and by simply releasing yourself to gratitude, you will find the gift of who you are and who you are to be.

It is your Now Moment to affect change for yourself and to see the positive aspect of living Now, so give this Now Moment its place as the one that matters most, because it does.


DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. If you desire one-on-one coaching contact DA Southern directyourownlife@gmail.com

The Past is Past: Live Free Without Baggage

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baggage you carry with you Now Moments are but a culmination of the past. But here is a concept, the past is past, so why let it allow itself to influence future Now Moments, which don’t exist yet, and, certainly, should not affect this Now Moment unless it is something that must be dealt with now.

First a discussion about the baggage we carry around with us that is our past.

It is my assertion that whether the baggage is “good” or “bad” and that, my friend, is always subjective, that baggage serves you as you carry it around for whatever reason. I know you are saying “I don’t desire this pain or this burden” but still you have decided to carry it with you and allow it to affect you in this Now Moment in some way, even to the extent that you make decisions that are not ideally logical or sensible based on the fear of the past.

For Fear That

Yes, that is what the past intrinsically is based in most of the time, fear. The fear of not repeating the same mistakes. The fear of being labeled this or that. The fear of ultimately being judged and is that not the ultimate fear? Isn’t that what most peer pressure is based on? The judgment of peers or not being part of the group.

groucho marxSo, I guess you could say, fear and acceptance go hand-in-hand, right? Because we all want to be accepted at some level into a group, maybe we should take a note from the great comedian from the past, Groucho Marx, who said when talking about joining a club, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. “ In that quote we find the ultimate attitude of not allowing others to dictate your actions.

The Past is The Past

Fear is that constant of the past that cripples us in these Now Moments. Rid yourself of fear and many items of the past would come crumbling down. As I often tell those I coach that the thing about any suitcase, what we would think of baggage, is that they are always equipped with latches or zippers in which you are free to open them and empty the contents AT ANY TIME.  The challenge is that, for some reason, many believe that once they are latched or zipped, that it appears that some type of super-secret code or key is needed to undo it.

In reality, the super-secret code or key is your own mind and your decision to release it. The real secret is to determine how the baggage is serving you, I mean, getting to the core emotion as to why it benefits you to carry it with you. When you get to that point, you will find that the suitcase you are holding, that which is holding you back with its weight, is easy to unlatch and empty out.

Now Moments

Now Moments should only hold the seeds of the past as a way to understand the journey now not hamper it going forward. There is much more to be said along these lines, but suffice it to say, we are all on the journey of self-discovery but allowing the past to dictate your Now Moments is a journey we don’t share.

Calm yourself and look at the suitcase and ask yourself why you carry it. Be honest, really honest with yourself and get to the emotion of the heart of the fear for there will be your release.


DA Southern is a Now Moment coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 30 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing the beauty of this Now Moment with a renewed passion for life. If you desire one-on-one coaching contact DA Southern directyourownlife@gmail.com

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