We Have Met the Enemy And He Is Us; 3 Ways to Begin to Find Your Harmony


On any given day, some aspect of yourself shows up to be the dominant force that outshines the rest of you. Unfortunately, we look at as if we are in some kind of sales contest within ourselves that seeks to win over the all other parts of yourself.

It is like some Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde experience that the ego has set up to rule you. What is even more important, is that the ego seeks to bring forth doubt within yourself to keep you slightly off balance so as to never cease the incessant reliance on the very aspect of yourself, the ego, that brought you to this point to begin with.

If i was going to illustrate with a theatrical production, it would have to be the play written by David Mamet, called, “Glengarry Glen Ross.”

Wikipedia describes it as: Glengarry Glen Ross is a 1984 play written by David Mamet. The play shows parts of two days in the lives of four desperate Chicago real estate agents who are prepared to engage in any number of unethical, illegal acts—from lies and flattery to bribery, threats, intimidation and burglary—to sell undesirable real estate to unwitting prospective buyers. The play draws partly on Mamet’s experiences in a Chicago real estate office, where he worked briefly in the late 1960s. The title of the play comes from the names of two of the real estate developments being peddled by the salesmen characters, Glengarry Highlands and Glen Ross Farms.

You see, this play pits these four characters against one another and they each go through their own personal hell trying to define the line in which they will cross to be number one within the office and to become the superior over the others.

Really, this is nothing different than the way the ego pits you against yourself and it is as if you, too, are in your own personal hell as you look to see what lines you,also, will cross. In this day of so many resorting to medications to try to calm that part of them that is out of balance with the rest, it may come down to understanding that the truth out there is really within.

There was a great comic years ago called Pogo, that had a simple panel with the character that was simply contemplating while saying, “We have met the enemy and he is us.” I remember that having a profound effect on me as a kid and it really started me, at an early age, into a more reflective path probably than most my age.

Of course, the universe makes no mistakes and i was destined to be as such.

Of course, i also remember a Calvin and Hobbes comic that had Calvin talking to his pet stuffed tiger, Hobbes, as they were having a discussion about life being like a play.

Calvin says, “They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines.

Hobbes: Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce.

Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.”

I guess, somewhere in the middle between Pogo and Calvin and Hobbes, there is truth.

Of course, i jest. In actuality, there is a magnificent Creator and a Universal Way that really is contained within us all if we but stop and look. But sometimes, we are indeed our own worse enemy and are indeed, the manipulative salesmen of Glengarry Glen Ross to our own selves.

3 Ways to Begin to Bring Harmony Within

However, here is the kicker; The ego starts the balls in motion and then stands back and watches. Then, after you have ‘messed everything up’, rushes in to ‘save’ you. The quotes are intentional, by the way, as ‘messing everything up’ is only a matter of perspective and the ego can never ‘save’ you from anything.

Way 1: On Any Given Day, Assess Who is In Charge

Think of yourself as a call center of sorts. All kinds of demands, calls, are coming in and yet, one person seems to be really on top of their game that day, handling all calls with a joyful countenance.

Here is where the ego tries to begin the battle. Jealousy of each part within yourself that then transmits outside of yourself. Think about it. How come one day a comment is said to you that you seem to laugh off but said another day, will send you ‘over the edge.’

Is it the comment then? Probably not. But more importantly, the egoic state you are in. This is why it is so important that you begin by looking within at who is coming to play today. When you can begin in self-reflection and not being purely reactive, then you can begin to assess the real you.

Way 2: Understand That Reactions are not Actions but are a Defense. They Are Not the Real You

In football, it is said that while having a great defense is mandatory, Defense does not Win Games; it is the actions that you do on the Offense that makes the difference.

I suppose this can be said of life as well, in that, if all we are in any given day are the reactions that we bring into the day, then we are playing from a defensive posture alone. For when we lose our Now Moments with reactions alone, the we have forfeited the game already.

Start by asking questions when desiring to react. Questions such as, “Is there a better way here to look at this? Is this person coming from their own personal Glengarry Glen Ross situation? Essentially, when you take the time to ask, the reaction may be diffused. Of course, if you can find your harmony to begin with, the reactive state may be nullified once and for all.

Way 3: Be Unashamed of Who You Are

All of the staff within your office that is “You, inc.” are never to be at odds with one another. Instead, you are to compliment one another and each part becomes the ‘ying’ to your ‘yang’ within.

You see, the ego would have you fighting within yourself in such a way that self-doubt and insecurities are rampant and are then portrayed to the outside world. A non-harmonious state then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you are unashamed of the parts that make up the total you, then you will begin to feel that harmony that must be part of every being on the planet.

But here is the thing… Harmony is always an inside job first. What many do is try to become the peacemakers for an outside world without first going within. Embrace who you are and care not for the opinions of others.

Have you office working together in “You, inc.” and the outside world will become a bit more radiant to you.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.


directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking directyourownlife@gmail.com


Bubbles and the Ego; 3 Ways to Allow Your Bubble to Float Freely

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google plus circlesThe newest rage in Social Media circles is, well, circles. When Google+ introduced the concept of grouping together people in the logical way that we arrange people in our lives, it made sense.

Have you every blown those bubbles you get at the Dollar Store just for fun? Kids love doing it but why do we lose the simple joy of doing so as adults? Purchase a jar of bubbles soon and just enjoy them so that you can free yourself to think in a Universal Way for a bit.

You see, life itself is really, in a sense, a constant arrangement of circles that seem to float about like bubbles. When two or three or whatever intersect they form a new circle, but the bubbles are fluid and ever changing. Some float seemingly alone for a bit and then others are interconnected always, it would so seem, with other bubbles as that is their nature.

The ego tends to want to control you in such a way as to label the very movement of the bubbles and the way they are connected.

How does the ego do it?

The ego uses various aspects of life that seemingly make sense to us, on the surface, but insecurities are at the heart of all egoic tendencies. The ego takes feelings and emotions and heightens them to become almost seemingly irrational aspects of the way we feel and act.

However, it always makes sense to us. The secret is to allow the bubbles to float free to begin with and never even allow the ego to become involved in anything.

3 Ways To Allow Yours and Others Bubbles to Float Free of Ego

When you notice the very beauty of a bubble, you can see that it seems to be a little piece of perfection floating in time and space. Why then would you allow anything such as the ego to label it or try to control it.

Way 1: Understand the Very Nature of Bubbles

They do best when made and allowed to just float. Yes, we try to control them by giving them waves of our hands or blowing on them to keep them afloat, but usually, when left alone, they will complete their journey that they are destined for. The ego is always trying to control the very nature and path of the bubbles of life. Understand that we are all on our own journey and that each life, each bubble, is a perfection unto itself. Allow people to take their own journeys by not becoming an ego-driven creature based in insecurities.

Way 2: Never Force Connections as They Will Occur Naturally

One thing the ego loves to do is force connections where there are none. I suppose we best see this played out in the aspect of love.

In reality TV, in movies and TV shows, we see that very set-up as a way to enter into a drama situation that is suppose to rivet you to your seat. Well, as that is the intent, it grabs us because, while we may scoff at the antics of some TV or movie character that is mismatched in love, and we know it, it is familiar ground as most have been there in some way within their own bubbles. The forcing of love where there need not be.

The idea that we force any connection, be it a relationship or some event in time and space that is not a natural fit for us, is a way to misshape your bubble.

You have done that while blowing bubbles have you not? Tried to blow many together in such a way that the circle is almost hideous looking and it very seldom last. In fact, often times the bubble cannot even float and drops to the ground and disintegrates before our eyes.

This is the very nature of forced connections in life and in love.

Way 3: Every Bubble Will Travel and Complete its Journey

As much as we allow the ego to try to manipulate others with our words and actions, ultimately we must decide to not become that creature who is so concerned with the actions of others that it causes our actions to be nothing but reactions. That is never a journey worth taking as it is fraught with insecurities in every aspect of living.

Like the bubble, the journey will start at its creation and end with its bursting at its predestined time. But here is the beauty of the bubble. It does not ever truly end. Like us, it just becomes too big for its soapy casing and must become something else.

Like the bubble, we, too, expand past our shell at what many think is the ending, but is truly a new beginning. Allow your bubble and everyone you interact with, to be free of the ego that tries to manipulate and control its course with forced connections.

Live free and float naturally on the winds of time free from the egoic nature that tries to control us all. For there is where life truly exists in its simplicity.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

The Action of Reaction; 3 Ways to Get a Grip

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In the height of any political season reactions are heightened in the media, between people and between ideologies. Now, the premise here is not to choose a side, a ’right’ or ‘wrong’, for most, i have found have an outlook based on upbringing or transformational actions that have happened in their lives.

But the bigger point here is that it seems that reactions to the common everyday nuances of life are heightened. It seems that we become more reactive to every passing news account or video that we see.

Face it, it is reactions that spark debate. It is reactions that are at the core of every reality show. It is reactions that hit you square in the face as you progress through the Now Moments of your day that cause you to react in ways that are not Present Moment peace.

Rita Mae Brown said it beautifully when she said, “A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.”

You see, when we become strictly reactive beings, we lose the argument before it even begins. Many times in relationships, it is the reactions that partners seem to desire most. It seems that it is the reactions that seem to mean that they care for one another, but really it is more manipulation than anything else. When a partner attempts to ‘hit your hot buttons’ it comes from an egoic center to gain control and never from a place of love.

Wayne Dyer said, “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” Meaning that we are responsible for what we do alone. It is how you choose to react, but the bigger truth is the actions of self that are your truth.

3 Ways to Get a Grip on Your Reactive State

“Do attempt to control the horizontal, do not control the vertical, we are in control,” so says the man from the beginning of every Twilight Zone episode from the past, so must you be to your reactive state. It is all a matter of you coming from a place of the Present Moment.

Way 1: Lag Time

Think about reactions. They are so, well, reactive, are they not? They come pouring out seemingly from your very soul before you know it, it seems. But to get a grip,you need to think of lag time.

I view reactions like i view having to give an account to someone for no apparent reason; totally unnecessary.

What do i mean? Well, when someone ask you do to something or go somewhere with them, and you care not to do so, do you give an excuse as to why you can’t, true or not? most have, but here is the beauty of being an adult, you don’t have to. In fact, haven’t you looked at a soul whose ‘No’ and ‘Yes’ alone were enough? It is almost as if you admired their courage just to say no or yes and be done with it. No excuses, no explanations.

That is essentially, Lag Time.the ability to think first and then say no or yes and be done with it. Lag Time is the actual thinking of what was said, and thoughtfully putting words to any thoughts that you then proclaim. A rule of thumb is a seven count, but if you are truly thinking, you need not actually count it. But tale the time anyway.

Way 2: Don’t Allow Guilt or Manipulation to Enter

This is a danger zone for sure, especially if you have not immediately been made to answer as the person, or situation, has demanded from you. I hear this a lot, that some ‘situation’ makes you respond, but unless you are in danger in that moment, most situations have no feeling how you should react or if you should at all. Most ‘situations’ are people-produced and usually ego based.

The key here is to be aware of guilt and manipulation and the effects that it has had on you. Becoming aware is the first step to not allowing guilt in to begin with.

Way 3: Don’t Look Back

This ties into both Way 1 & 2, in that the ego will question us and make us begin to doubt our lack of reactions.

“You have always reacted this way before, why not now?” the ego will say, but here is where the confidence of being a person of action, not reaction, comes in. Make no excuses for who you are and give no explanations, if one is not needed, for you are in control of this Now Moment. You are to Direct Your Power and be the person who others will look to as courageous for your non-reactive state.

Allow the Present Moment to be your place where you are a person of action, not a reactive sort that has no confidence in who they are.

Direct Your Own Life here for only you can.

Until next time…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

Let me Know your Thoughts Below, Follow this Blog, and be Social with this Post, for the more people we have living successfully in this Now Moment and discussing the value of doing so, the higher we lift all others around us.

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