There are a sea of floating definitions of ourselves at any given moment just waiting to become your primary focus. They are individual traits and characteristics, and yes, even some insecurities thrown in for good measure, floating on little rafts just shouting at you to ‘pick me, pick me’.
And we do for whatever moment seems to apply, we reach to the raft that seems to be making the most noise at any given moment.
You see, there is a definition of yourself that is the one that all other definitions should revolves around. However in our disposable society where we get cell phones as often as we change underwear, it seems as if the very definition comes and goes like the tide as well.
Where this presents conflict within your soul is in the very definition of who you are is being compromised and so the ego uses this as a way to become the soul arbiter of all that surrounds you.
Often times it is just not pretty.
To become so enamored with who you are by the terms others set for you, be it at work or in your personal life, is to surrender the better part of yourself in the process.
We Are To Play The Role We Define Ourselves As
When i was doing a fair amount of directing, there was a sign that i had on the door leading into rehearsals that simply stated, “What ever you have done today, leave it on this side of the door, for when you walk through this door, you are defined by the role you are playing.”
What i was telling the actors was that they were to leave the trouble of the day behind them as this was their clarity of focus for the next several hours.
Such can be said for life in general. We are defined by the role we are playing and that role should then become the sun of our universe that has the subsidiary hats that we adopt at any given moment as our planetary system. Essentially, our definition of who we are gives warmth and energy to the other traits that we may be at any given moment.
Way 1: The Center of You is What Gives Warmth to Your Soul
This can not be stated enough. You must define your true core and then live it in such a way so as to impact all other definition who desire to be you. To find this simply look at what it is that brings you the most joy in your life. I am not talking of the external, because most would say their family and friends.
No, what i am talking about is the truth of who you are. If you are having trouble, start by looking at the qualities that your family and friends bring to you and the joy aspect that are the relationships. There is a joy-factor that must be ferreted out to determine your core. Focus on that and really examine the feelings they they bring to you and you can then begin to piece together a soulful journey to your core.
Way 2: Do Not Allow the Voices of Other Definitions to Define You
This is one of the hardest aspect of your journey as others and the ego seeks to remake you in their own image. The sad part is that we often allow them so that we can simply ‘get along’ and ‘not make waves’.
This is a tragic way to live as, many times, we start to believe ‘own press’ as the old expression goes. We fall into the trap of the loudest voice of the definition of ourselves and we become jaded and out of step with who we are internally.
This is where the internal conflict then begins as we struggle to combine realities but never successfully doing so. Find your sun and allow it to become the guiding influence.
Way 3: Understand That the Further You Go From Your Core Concept, the Weaker You Become.
Often times when i am coaching a client, they seem as if they almost become a victim to the various definitions in that it becomes easy to blame the definitions as they are not really them. Being a victim is, then, very, very easy always giving you a way to say like the old expression from comic Flip Wilson, ‘The devil made me do it.’
It is just easier to have a scapegoat when you haven’t given your focus on what the defining aspect of who you are is and it is not front and center in your life.
Sometimes it is just easier to succumb to the pressure because it is the way you have always done it.
But it is as i have often described anyone of creative intellect; Your creative self is like a blade of grass covered with cement. No matter what the talent, no matter how much life and the people in your life cover up that blade of grass (your creative self, your core) with cement, at some point in time, it must poke through. It must find the sun, the energy that sustains it. It must.
In the end, life and who you are at your core will become your truth. Maybe it will finally arrive later in life, but no matter when it arrives, allow the growth to flourish.
For in the end, the only you that must exist is the you that is meant to reach a greater plane of existence.
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DA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking @ firstname.lastname@example.org