The Disconnect of Your Connections

A casual look at the simple word, “connection” finds that there are page after page of definitions that associate themselves with “connection”, as well as the associated words that each definition brings.

There is the connection of a person who aids another in achieving goal.

There is the connection of something that communicates, relates.

There is the connection of affiliation, association with an organization.

There is the connection of affinity, having a similarity with someone or some thing.

There is the alliance aspect of connection where there is a friendly association or agreement.

There is the attachment aspect of being connected and the word connected is also associated with the word, bearing, or having significance within the connection.

The list goes on and on. It seems as though we are so connected these days that the very state of being connected has become muddled within the very context of the word. I mean, it is just a natural state, right? Or least it should be.

Then, why is it that with all of the positive aspects of our connected world, we have become so estranged from our very core. We have become so connected in the world of technology, that we have seemed to lose ourselves in the very connectedness we seek so hard to maintain.

I suppose the best way to look at our connectivity is in this quote from an American Indian Chief, Chief Seattle, who said, “What befalls the earth befalls all the sons of the earth. This we know: the earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood that unites us all. Man does not weave this web of life. He is merely a strand of it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.”

By the way, he was not talking about the World Wide Web, but you know, it could apply here. We are indeed strands of the web within our connections and it is true that when the web is used for ideas that are insidious, we are indeed doing it to ourselves.

It is the same with our connections. the ones that we so desperately seek to maintain not only our idea of being part of a larger world, but, in many regards, the ego seeks to define itself within these connections. Be it as a platform that seeks to enhance our prestige or as a way to become the one who is the prestige that everyone seeks.

But at the core of it all is the connection we have to ourselves.

No matter how many Facebook friends you may have people in your contact or email list, there is a common denominator with them all.

You see, if the connection to yourself is so distasteful to your own inner being, you can hardly expect a quad-rillion friends on the old Facebook or Google+ accounts. For you see, there is a correlation to the expression of the inner to the outer. No matter how you may wish to hide around your multiple expression of some connectedness through the Web, if you are not fully vested in you first, in the end, it just won’t matter.

3 Ways to Begin to Look at the Connection Within

Way 1: Rediscover What makes You, You

When i would direct a play, the process of getting an actor to relate to the character was to get them connected to the characters traits that the actor thought through the words. Often times in scripts, a rough description of the character is given so as to give the actor some leeway as to the intentions of the character within the play. But, often, usually somewhere in the middle of the scheduled rehearsals, there was a shift from the written to the actor..

What i mean is that the good actor seemed to become the character to a degree and seemed to bring the character to life. You could say that the person playing the character connected with the part.

This is what you need to do with yourself. Take the time to evaluate the source of your connections. It was the Buddha who said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Way 2: Reassess Your Connections

Why are you connected to anyone, outside of family. What part of you do you bring to the character that you are playing in the play. Why are the connections so vital?

This self-assessment allows you to see yourself as sometimes we are defines by our connections. It is like when you were a kid and your parents didn’t want you to hang out with this person or that one because they might be a bad influence. The old ‘guilt by association’ complex that is in the parents manual.

But for whatever the reason for the connection, understand it for what it is and make no judgements here on the associations themselves. It is not the connections, but what you are to the connections that matter. Be honest here for

James Thurber said it so well when he penned, “All men should strive to learn before they die
what they are running from, and to, and why.”

Way 3: Be Willing To Disconnect From Your Connections

This is a release, of sorts. This is the place where you have taken yourself to better align with the truth of yourself and be willing to disconnect from the connections that are not advancing you.

I mean that not in a callous or egotistical way, but from a soulful way. You see, if the true you is connected to things outside of yourself that take you away from you and your journey, it is not egotistical to be true to yourself so as to be better for the connections that matter.

It is as i tell a client who is very wrapped up in the opinions of others for her life, “Those that matter, don’t care. Those that care, don’t matter.” Essentially, if someone is a true connection, they will take you as you are and encourage you along the way. The connection is organic and natural and adds to you, such as you are to connections that matter to you.

Life is too short to try to be connected to everything as if everything matters. everything does not matter for it is only our determination on what everything is.

Find your connection with yourself and bring the characteristics to the part that are truly you, for at the end of the show, we all bow alone.

Be a Person of Quality. Direct Your Power.

Until then…

Be Excellent, Expect the Best!

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directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Personal Development Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking