In the height of any political season reactions are heightened in the media, between people and between ideologies. Now, the premise here is not to choose a side, a ’right’ or ‘wrong’, for most, i have found have an outlook based on upbringing or transformational actions that have happened in their lives.
But the bigger point here is that it seems that reactions to the common everyday nuances of life are heightened. It seems that we become more reactive to every passing news account or video that we see.
Face it, it is reactions that spark debate. It is reactions that are at the core of every reality show. It is reactions that hit you square in the face as you progress through the Now Moments of your day that cause you to react in ways that are not Present Moment peace.
Rita Mae Brown said it beautifully when she said, “A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.”
You see, when we become strictly reactive beings, we lose the argument before it even begins. Many times in relationships, it is the reactions that partners seem to desire most. It seems that it is the reactions that seem to mean that they care for one another, but really it is more manipulation than anything else. When a partner attempts to ‘hit your hot buttons’ it comes from an egoic center to gain control and never from a place of love.
Wayne Dyer said, “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” Meaning that we are responsible for what we do alone. It is how you choose to react, but the bigger truth is the actions of self that are your truth.
3 Ways to Get a Grip on Your Reactive State
“Do attempt to control the horizontal, do not control the vertical, we are in control,” so says the man from the beginning of every Twilight Zone episode from the past, so must you be to your reactive state. It is all a matter of you coming from a place of the Present Moment.
Way 1: Lag Time
Think about reactions. They are so, well, reactive, are they not? They come pouring out seemingly from your very soul before you know it, it seems. But to get a grip,you need to think of lag time.
I view reactions like i view having to give an account to someone for no apparent reason; totally unnecessary.
What do i mean? Well, when someone ask you do to something or go somewhere with them, and you care not to do so, do you give an excuse as to why you can’t, true or not? most have, but here is the beauty of being an adult, you don’t have to. In fact, haven’t you looked at a soul whose ‘No’ and ‘Yes’ alone were enough? It is almost as if you admired their courage just to say no or yes and be done with it. No excuses, no explanations.
That is essentially, Lag Time.the ability to think first and then say no or yes and be done with it. Lag Time is the actual thinking of what was said, and thoughtfully putting words to any thoughts that you then proclaim. A rule of thumb is a seven count, but if you are truly thinking, you need not actually count it. But tale the time anyway.
This is a danger zone for sure, especially if you have not immediately been made to answer as the person, or situation, has demanded from you. I hear this a lot, that some ‘situation’ makes you respond, but unless you are in danger in that moment, most situations have no feeling how you should react or if you should at all. Most ‘situations’ are people-produced and usually ego based.
The key here is to be aware of guilt and manipulation and the effects that it has had on you. Becoming aware is the first step to not allowing guilt in to begin with.
Way 3: Don’t Look Back
This ties into both Way 1 & 2, in that the ego will question us and make us begin to doubt our lack of reactions.
“You have always reacted this way before, why not now?” the ego will say, but here is where the confidence of being a person of action, not reaction, comes in. Make no excuses for who you are and give no explanations, if one is not needed, for you are in control of this Now Moment. You are to Direct Your Power and be the person who others will look to as courageous for your non-reactive state.
Allow the Present Moment to be your place where you are a person of action, not a reactive sort that has no confidence in who they are.
Direct Your Own Life here for only you can.
Until next time…
Be Excellent, Expect the Best!
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