The ego loves it and at some place within you, there is a part that is served in you with that thing called “Drama”. Gosh, everyone knows of what i speak, but for some reason the ego seems to neuter it almost as if it is expected.
Why is that?
As a director, i can tell you that the very act of producing a play; be it a musical, comedy or even a drama, is by its very nature a place of drama. It is the ego asserting itself in a dominant manner and when you have all of the egos that come out to do a show, trust me, there are egos. In many ways, directing is as important to directing egos as is the show itself.
Look at your own situation, in your family, work or any given social situation and i bet you, too, have seen drama at work. As i said, the ego neuters it as OK, and yet, it is not.
You see, drama is a heightened state of self-absorption that seeks to have its own way and where the ego uses the most insidious way to control is in manipulation of events and people in a given situation.
The devious aspect of manipulation is the subtlety of it and the usual ensuing guilt that is at the heart of manipulation. So, not only is drama manipulation but guilt then becomes ingrained as well. The drama then becomes as toxic as any other form of violence is and in many ways damages far worse.
So, here is the thing with drama. It often starts as an innocent ploy but denigrates into something worse as the ego looks for the ultimate power grab. We can look at many teen girls and see drama and laugh at it as if it is so benign but as one grows into adulthood, that drama morphs into a powerful weapon.
The thing about drama, is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy in a sense. People look at situations as if they are looking to be insulted, the place drama begins oftentimes. In Directing Your Power you have to decided when drama starts to creep in to stop it at its entrance. many times it is as if people know they are in the midst of some personal drama, but once so realized, the game is afoot.
Way 1: Alertness
Drama is insidious in that it begins innocently and fast becomes a raging river that drags you along for the ride. Many Spiritual text talk of this very aspect of ‘guarding your heart’ so that you can be alert to things that may take you to a place that you may not desire. Usually, people think when they think of Directing their Power, that this is in terms of committing some ‘big’ sin, but it truly does mean to be like a watchman at the gate of the city; always vigilant to any danger.
Way 2: Prepare for Battle
Now this is not what you think. By its very nature, drama is battle but it is not the battle we are preparing for. We are actually preparing NOT to battle, not to do the drama that others decide they need you to be a part of. You see, for drama to exist, it needs a willing victim.
Yes, if you are a participant in dram, you are indeed a willing participant, even though you believe yourself not to be. So, the battle we are ready to take from being alert is the battle of no-thing. No participating in anything drama related.
There is an old sales technique that is taught that says in the heart of a sales closing, the first one that talks loses. Here is no different. We will not participate in the drama by not engaging in it. Now be very careful, because the drama could switch to how heartless or cold you are; a back-door approach to get you involved, but don’t fall for it. Remember if you allow your ego to become involved, drama will ensue.
Way 3: Silence Diffuses
This goes to Way 2 in that your silence can diffuse a drama situation in several ways; you don’t participate and your ego is not involved or engaged directly. There is also another way this can become advantageous to you.
You become a listener who allows the person with the drama to vent and, if you must engage, always follow the ‘5 count’ rule here. If questioned to answer, or a question is asked that must be answer, repeat the question exactly as said, count to 5, and then simply, design a question from the question.
The idea is to give the drama room to dissolve as mush as possible on its own.
This technique has been a fairly good drama-buster for clients, but at the heart of this is sincerity. It you are a good listener, drama-types will even seek you out to listen to them.
Remember people will never care how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
Drama is never a happy place.
Until next time…
Be Excellent, Expect the Best!
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