“Get your head out of the clouds son and think about your future.” my dad would tell me.

As i now look at the lunacy of that statement as a Present Moment thinker and coach, i have begun to breech the very nature of the future as a place the ego likes to keep us forever tied as a place where it, alone, has the answers of your hopes and dreams.

How could you ever doubt the ego, right? I mean, as long as you are forever looking forward, the very Now of it all is certainly of no concern.

But the trap is set and we have all fallen victim to it, or maybe, are in its clutches in this very Now Moment. The future, that glorious hope that this stinking Now Moment won’t exist. The very device that the ego keeps you from seeing beauty in this Present Moment keeps most from the understanding that when the “future” gets here, what is it really?

It is the Now Moment.

But the ego has a powerful ally in its always endeavor of a future pull; Life and all who participate and tell you as much to begin with.

We are told from as far back as babies that the future is all that matters. Kids are even told as early as kindergarten to choose a career path and encouraged to think of the resources that are needed to get there in the future.


Yes, we all have a destiny within us, that which gives our souls that sense of eternity, but it is a journey of self discovery that should be allowed to manifest in an organic way within each ones own individual journey.

Hollywood movies and accounts of famous people throughout the ages have heralded the journey of those who have “bucked the system” and struck out on their own to find their destiny according to themselves. You see, when you allow others and the ego to always think of the future and what you ‘should’ be doing, this Now Moment becomes unimportant. Essentially, reality can only truly exist then in some future event.

When you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous does it not?

I liken the future as telling someone to ‘try’ and pick up a glass from a counter. They can either pick up the glass or not pick up the glass, you cannot ‘try’ to. That, in essence, is the future. It is always something that is simply a ‘try’ scenario; you are trying to make it something it is not.

Yoda said it best when talking to Luke Skywalker, “Do or do not, there is no try.” You have got to admit that that little green Jedi Master knew what to say, right?

Living in some future reality is the actual living with ‘your head in the clouds.’  The future is not here nor shall it be as the ego designs it for you. Many people fall into the landmines of future happiness in some future relationship, some future perfect job, some future perfect living conditions. This is at the heart of stress and depression for many people; the future not as planned.

Let me give you an analogy here. As a director, i would give people a script at the beginning of rehearsals that defined the parameter of the show. We had the future in our hands, but what brings uniqueness to the future are not the set words written in the script, but the actors that are saying the words, bringing life to them.

As much as we all know as we rehearse the play, the future of how it will end, the performance is as mysterious as any future ever is. Will the actor say all of the words in the script as written? Maybe, maybe not, but one thing is for sure, the only moment we have to make the show flow is to bring the Now Moments we spend on the script to light on Opening Night and beyond.

The ego always has your head in the clouds and it is called the future, and it is not written yet.

3 Ways to Allow the Ego to Not Determine Future Happiness

Step 1: Understand that the past is called that for a reason, it is gone and no longer defines you.

Many fall into the trap of being forever tied to a past comment, emotion or event that is supposed to become their future. While they are tied there, they become then so embroiled within it that the future then becomes this constant embracing of the past, trying to ‘make it right’.

Typical tactic of the ego in that as long as it can keep you in the past or so tied up in the past that you are forever striving to make it a better future, you are forever kept of balance and never fully capable of connecting with the truth that is you.

Many times you see it of people who come from a dysfunctional home environment when they say that they will never be like the environment that they came from. On the surface, that sounds admirable, but when you are so tied to an identity of what you don’t want to become that it is all you do to not become it, you never fully define the truth of who you are in this Now Moment.

Step 2: Release the preconceived ideas and emotions of others about your journey

Hollywood loves making movies about the person in a family who doesn’t desire to go into the family business and seeks out on a journey of self-discovery.

Why do you think that movies such as these speaks to us so deeply?

Because it is in our very core, especially if we have indeed done something that is really counter-intuitive to who we are deep inside. We are on the journey that is ours alone. If it is what your family and does indeed bring you joy, it is in your core, then by all means become your destiny. But when guilt defines your journey, it is the simple act of the ego defining who you are and will always take you from the joy of Now Moments.

Step 3: Understand that this Now Moment is the only future you have.

When you put away the guilt of what others think your journey should be and focus on what it is within you, what brings you joy, then become that journey.

As i don’t subscribe to the concept of regret, as it is merely an egoic way of living in some past that the ego uses to define you current reality, this Now Moment becomes the place to leave it where it belongs; buried and left on its own.

There is a truth in living as a creature of joy and not allowing some future to be as much for you. Like Opening Night, we know the future may exist, but there is no guarantee. It is in the rehearsal in this Now Moment that defines any future Now Moments that might become your reality.

Live them brilliantly for that is the only truth you will ever truly experience

Be Excellent, Expect the Best.


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directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is an Author, Speaker, Blogger and a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for Coaching or Speaking directyourownlife@gmail.com