Being a genuine Trekkie from way back, there was something that always seemed to resonate with the hopefulness of Star Trek and Star Wars, as well.

Yes, it was always a classic battle between good and evil, which we seem to need from an egoic sense; always an opponent to vanquish. But inherent in the space battles and the fist-fights that Kirk, Spock and the gang, as well as Luke Skywalker often found themselves in, there was always a sense of hopefulness and a striving for peace that seemed to be the desired outcome.

Anger was never really part of the battle, but the fight usually seemed to be for a future that was bright for all. It was as if the very battle was for the sense of peace that one must find within to live without.

That is the thing about anger that has been the inflection of the last series of posts. Anger, in its base form, is always personal in nature and has dire consequences on the person who holds it within. Yes, it is always outward directed, but, at its core, it is a harmonic imbalance that keeps us forever dependent on the ego to keep us moving forward.

Anger, then is the symbiotic relationship between the ego and that past of the soul that has decided that love is no longer part of the equation. While this is a statement that often has many raising their eyebrows like Mr. Spock, the truth is simply that anger and love cannot coexist with one another.

When i was a kid, i, like many have been, was subjected to punishment “out of love.” I think a telling statement that really brought the significance of that home to me was when, at a conference i was attending, a child psychologist said that what is confusing for a young child is that the very arms that are outstretched to hug become the very arms that do punishment. That young children, then, become confused as to the significance of love vs. anger/hate. The child then becomes an adult and carries into adulthood confusing images of love.

The concept resonated with me. I looked within and determined that it was a serious condition of the heart and of the soul and that it was time to begin the healing of anger in souls desiring to become better than their conditions would indicate.

The more i understand the very nature of anger and how it seeming affects every part of who we are, the more i saw the dominance of the ego right in the middle of it all.

In the last posts where we talked of Anger, Stormy Anger and Unhealthy Anger, there was a common thread that ran through all; The ego.

Like anger, the ego has been built up to be the trait that makes it all happen for us. It is the part of us that makes us alive, so to speak, that gives us the impetus to succeed.

But i am not so sure.

In reading of autobiographies of many famous people, it would seem that they were very ego-driven, but here is where that concept erodes. In the leaders that have ended poorly, the Napoleons of the World, we see that their egos and their anger drove them mad. But the true leaders, the pioneers that changed the world, what often appeared as ego, was often mistaken as passion for what they believed, for the vision they were destined to become.

Even in politics, there are many politicians that enter our awareness, but few States(wo)men, essentially individuals who exhibit great wisdom and ability in directing the affairs of a government or in dealing with important public issues, emerge on the forefront of the public arena.

I am not so cynical as to believe that all politicians are “crooks”, as is the mindset of anger, but that most truly enter for reasons so as to serve. Just like any profession, however, there is an egoic tendency to be influenced by power that sets its course on anger as its base.

Look around for yourself. Notice the individuals who have made the most difference in your life and in the lives of others. Are they not people who had a sense of a Universal Way about them? Do they seem to come from a different place, from a place free of anger and of an ego? I know this to be truth for myself.

So in our discussion, we have subtly made the connection to the ego as we have dealt with the ways to take steps against the anger, but notice that in our various steps, it was that we always came from a place of love. Again, love and anger can not coexist with one another. The ego will shut off the pathways for love when engaged with anger. That is why hugging a child with loving arms and then using the same hands to strike them is a place no one should ever find themselves. The same sentiment undoubtedly goes for being an adult.

I go back to Star Trek and Star Wars. The very teaching of Yoda, the Jedi Master, is that anger, the emotions, the ego, clouds your way as a Jedi.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”  Jedi Master, Yoda

Yoda, in his infinite wisdom, was really saying a Universal Truth that resonates to our Galaxy as well. There is no progression of anger that can ever be beneficial to anyone, especially yourself.

3 Ways Out of the Ego’s Way to Anger

Step 1: Understand that Anger is a Personal Journey

As a director, there is a time in the production that you give notes to the actors about their performance to get them to become a cohesive unit for Opening Night. Usually, done in the last week or so of the rehearsal schedule, when the actors have learned their lines for the most part. the notes are the directors view at performances-as-a-whole and done with an eye on tweaking performances of the individual actors. The part of taking notes is that it is never personal for you see not the person, but the actor.

It is the same with anger. You must first take the personal out of it, You must take the egoic hold and detach from it. By doing so, you begin the process of beginning to detach from ego, from the reason that anger exist within you for what ever reason. The significance of this step cannot be denied in that as soon as the personal is detached, the ego, the anger can be dealt with. You are the director taking notes on the production and the anger is an actor. Granted a bad one that really needs to be relegated to backstage, but baby steps here.

Step 2: Once Detached Personally, Mindmap those Affected by the Anger

Again, to continue the analogy of a director taking notes, when you stop and visually graph a look at the insidious ways that the ego is using anger to keep you from progressing in your career or in a relationship, then you can begin to see the bigger picture, the production known as your life, as a whole. This is where you really begin to see the concept of Directing Your Own Life and preparing your Opening Night, your Season of Productions, your Life.

Step 3: Release the Ego on Each Step of The Anger Mindmap

Understand that the egoic tendency is like that of an octopus arms, its tentacles not only wrap you up in each seemingly autonomous appendage, but each has its own little suction cups that are designed to grab you and hold you until you can no longer struggle. This is why each component of the anger you have identified on your mindmap must be dealt with individually. Many times, people think that just looking at an anger trait is enough and fail to realize that the ego assigns different traits to all components in the map.

Dealing with the ego of anger is never an easy proposition, but remember that the first step is to detach personally. This should be the beginning of understanding for the way ego ties you up to truly advance in to be fully present in every Now Moment.

As we look into the ego in the subsequent posts, understand that the journey begins Now and that we are not creatures of guilt or regret here as we go through this process. We are simply releasing ourselves for the journey ahead that is always Now.


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directyourownlife@gmail.comDA Southern is a Strategic Life Coach, teaching the spirit of living in Now Moments with the principles he experienced during over 35 years as an actor and director in live theatre. DA coaches his clients to rid life of limiting beliefs that have kept them from achieving miracles in all areas of their life by embracing Mindfulness of the Present Moment with a renewed Vision for life. Contact DA Southern for coaching